I was looking through old photos, and I found this one of me getting ready to celebrate my fourth birthday. Looks like quite a party, huh? There are little cartoon characters on the tablecloth and the ever popular pointy hats. And I’m dressed to the nines, of course. Some things never change. I still like dressing up, but I’ve become more of a tiara and boa kind a gal. And I like celebrating my birthday the entire month of May. One day’s just not enough! Besides, I gotta pace myself. Now me and my friends Celeste, Rita, Betty, Dot and Shirley (aka, the Women Who Run With the Moose) get together once a week for …

Here’s a story of misspent youth, courtesy of Charlie. Physics 101 We saw it all happen, my friend Bud and me From the booth where we sat at the ol’ Busy Bee Waiting we were, for the rest of the boys We heard, of a sudden, this terrible noise Almost as if we were hearing a fight This pickup pulled up to our one traffic light With rock music blarin’, speakers all blown And some jackass yellin’ he’s “bad to the bone” Bangin’ the beat on the side of his door Then hootin’ and hollerin’, yellin’ some more “Who is this clown?” says Bud with a frown The notorious Whitey Junior By that I mean …

So, I’m browsing through People magazine’s “The Beautiful Issue 2018: 41 pages of gorgeous, inspiring stars!” I come to this page filled with photos. “Beauty at Every Age,” it promises. It starts with Elle Fanning, who’s all of 20, and ends with Emma Thompson, 59. I whiz pretty quick through the youngsters, but when I get to the gals in their fifties, I slow down. I can relate more to them. And, I actually know who the heck they are! There’s Viola Davis, Meg Ryan, Robin Roberts, Allison Janney, and they’re looking good. Not too much Botox or injected fillers (though a few have suspiciously smooth necks and jaw lines). I get to Emma Thompson, …

I’m sorry. Having to chip the ice off your windshield in April? Give me a break! I had to go in the shed and fetch the scraper, again. (This was Monday.) Then I lost patience with the scraping, and just turned on the car, put the defrost on high and went back inside. I come back out ten minutes later, it’d barely made a dent! But, it was enough make me hopeful the windshield wipers would do the trick. I mean, I needed to get to work! I turned them on, and the wipers got most of the stuff off the windshield, so I proceed to drive to the A&P. Halfway there, I notice that …

Charlie come up with a doozy this week, an anthem of sorts. It’s part confession, part bragging, and not a word of it is true. Right! Think: semi-truck with a cracked muffler.  I Snore  I snore, I know Everyone has told me so I sputter, I snort Not a very glowing report I tried elevatin’ Our old box spring Squirt something up my nose But it doesn’t do a thing I snore, so what? I wish that I could keep my mouth shut But I can’t, I’ve tried Even though I sleep on my side I wake up all alone My wife got up at four She fled to the couch Couldn’t take it anymore …

Oh, my God! Charlie and me saw buds on our forsythia bush over the weekend! There’s something about that green with a little hint of yellow that’s just so darn hopeful, right? Puts a bounce in my step. The older I get, the more I appreciate spring. Well, all the season’s really, but especially spring. March was true to it’s word. After entering with two, count ‘em, two major snow storms, with power outages to boot, the last half of the month was blessedly lamb-like. I love watching the tide turn, and all of a sudden you realize that there are more patches of ground showing than snow. And wow, the birds are starting to …

Did you give up something for Lent? That used to be a big deal, didn’t it? I don’t think people do it so much, now. Seems the older I get, the harder it is to come up with something to abstain from during Lent. It’s not that I’m so pure. It’s that I’m so boring. All the food stuff I can think of (candy, ice cream, bacon), I shouldn’t be eating anyway. I’m not that big a drinker. And things like snapping at my husband, cursing and being judgmental, well, I should be watching out for those all year long. And giving up sex? Well, that’s a little extreme, don’t you think? Look, me and …

What’s Duffer Brain? Well, I’ll tell you in this short video teaser for my performances of “I Married an Alien!“ this weekend at The Footlights Theatre in Falmouth, ME.

Every house project takes at least two, three, four times longer than you think it’s going to. That box that says “all parts included” is lying. You dive into repairing that little bit of rot outside the front door and discover it’s the tip of the iceberg. And don’t even get me going on window treatments and paint chips! Experience has taught me that if Charlie’s going to be attempting one of these little chores, it’s best if I’m out of the house. So Saturday, when Charlie announced he was going to install our new bathroom blind, I called up my sister, Irene, and we went down to the Busy Bee for breakfast, then on …

Here’s a little video teaser for my upcoming shows at The Footlight Theatre in Falmouth. I’ll be there doing I Married an Alien! March 30 & 31 at 7:30.