Duffer Brain

As I write this, Charlie is in the den, lying on the couch, with his knee propped up, remote in hand, moaning. He’s in pain, but keeps “forgetting” to take his ibuprofen, so I have to remind him every four hours. I’m trying to muster up a little sympathy, but it’s hard, considering the circumstances. Open water fishing season started early this year, so Charlie and the boys, Bud, Smitty, Pat, Tommy and Junior (a.k.a. the Husbands of the Women Who Run With the Moose) went up to the old fishing camp that’s been in Smitty’s family for generations. I can’t tell you where it is, because the boys took a “blood oath” never to …

Men and Squirrels

Charlie and me buzzed over to the Agway, Saturday. He was picking up his snow blower, which was in for a tune up, and I wanted to get some more bulbs to sneak into the ground. You know, before it’s too late. I got some assorted tulips and daffodils. Come spring, you can’t have enough of them, in my opinion. Those hopeful, green shoots pokin’ their way up out of the remaining patches of snow. Then, gorgeous flowers: red, yellow, pink, orange! It perks my spirit up, no end.  I also got three amaryllis, the kind that come in a box, you grow from scratch. Boy, when they bloom, they look so pretty on our …

The Banana Bread Incident

I had a hankering for some banana bread, is how it started. So I bought three bananas when I did the grocery shopping last week. You need ripe bananas for banana bread, so I set them aside thinking, I’ll make the bread this weekend. I says to Charlie, “I’m saving these bananas for banana bread, OK?” No reply. “Charlie!” I hold up the bananas. “I’m saving these bananas for banana bread.” “Heard you the first time.” “Well, sometimes it’s hard to tell.” “What do you want to me to do? A cartwheel” “No need to get sarcastic. A simple “OK” or “yup” would be sufficient.” Again, nothing. Honest to God! It’s enough to drive a …

Need to Know Basis

So Charlie and me go to the Knights of Columbus cookout, and when we get home we have one of those couple conversations. You know the kind I mean: an eye opener. “Gee, Charlie,” I says “Celeste seemed a little stand offish to me this evening. Not quite herself. Did Bud say anything to you about it to you?” “No.” “No?” “Ida, I told you, us guys operate solely on a need to know basis.” “Well jeez, I haven’t heard from her all week. I think she must be miffed ‘cause I didn’t say anything about her new hair color last time I saw her down to the A&P.” “Ah, she probably just had a …

Sure It’s Ugly, but it Works Like a Charm

The longer I’m married, the more I realized that sometimes, men and women have completely different ways of lookin’ at things. Like a few years ago, out of the blue, Charlie says to me, “Ida, you know what we need?” “A complete kitchen make-over?” “Smaller.” “Hmm, I don’t know. A set of Fiestaware?” “No, a boot brush?” “A boot brush?” “You know, put it by the door? Has a brush on top? You wipe your boots on it before coming into the house.” “Oh, I’ve seen those. You mean like a little porcupine, with a brush on its back?” “Well, I don’t know about a porcupine. Just your basic boot brush.” “OK, Charlie, I’ll look …