In my book, The Sweet Life, I have a whole chapter devoted to sex. Hey, it’s a book about love and marriage, so it had to be done. Doesn’t quite have the same pizzazz as when we were younger, but it’s not half bad. I’m no Dr. Ruth (I’m short, but not that short), but bottom line: I’m a firm believer in doing whatever you need to do in order to do it. I’ll spare you the details. Oh, and fantasize all you want about whoever you want, but just don’t act on it. My friend Rita learned this the hard way. Rita works down to Smitty’s Hardware, which is owned by her husband, Smitty. …

I hope you had a nice weekend, because mine was a friggin’ marathon of errand running and house cleaning with an evening of canasta, a bean supper and an ice cream social thrown in for good measure. You know what? I’m kinda looking forward to getting back to work today, to rest up! Friday night, we went over to Nicole and Bobby Francoeur’s place to play canasta. They’re a nice couple, but as I’ve told you before, I’m not much for game playing. It just…I don’t know, I find it kind of boring. So I end up medicating myself with the nachos and peanut M&M’s, which, to be honest, leave me a little cranky. Still, …

Me and the Dairy Queen have a love/hate relationship. All summer long I love it, and the rest of the year I take its name. Let’s just say my skinny jeans and the Peanut Buster Parfait are like Patty Duke and her cousin. They’re never seen in the same room at the same time. In the spring when the DQ opens, I start off with the Peanut Buster Parfait right out of the gate because, you know, I missed that delightful mix of vanilla soft serve, hot fudge sauce, and peanuts. It’s a sweet and salty taste sensation, and I enjoy every bite.  Then I scale it back. When Charlie and me ride over to …

I was looking through my book, The Sweet Life, the other day. This is not something I do on a regular basis. I don’t sit around the double-wide thinking, Wow! I got a few minutes to spare. I think I’ll check out some of the brilliant things I said in my book. No siree, Bob. I’m writing a new show that’s based on the book (it’ll debut in September) and so part of the job is going through the book and deciding what stories would be fun to share on stage, up close and personal. Can’t wait!  Anyhoo, with all that’s going on in the country, on TV, heck our town meeting right here in …

It’s my birthday week, and spring is in full swing! The older I get, the more I enjoy spring. It wasn’t even that bad a winter. Still, I’m just loving every minute of it, even the rain. The world here in Mahoosuc Mills is greening up and just bursting with color. Of course, it’s not officially spring until my toe nails are painted. I’d be hard pressed to wear open-toed shoes without painting my nails, though I respect people who do. It’s a personal choice. For me, the minute the weather is warm enough to wear sandals (and that has to be pretty warm because my feet tend to run cold like the rest of …

It’s finally spring here in Mahoosuc Mills, and you know what that means? Spring cleaning, of course. I’m not saying I go hog wild like my mother and grandmother, taking apart each room of the house, but it’s good to do a deep cleaning every now and then. In preparation for this ritual, I bought a new vacuum cleaner head. The old one had seen better days. Finally, the lever that switches back and forth from “carpet” to “floor” broke, and it was permanently stuck on “carpet.” Hard to get good suction going on a wood floor, I’ll tell ya. It’s sad how excited I was about getting my new vacuum cleaner head, but hey, …

Okay, so I got together with the Women Who Run with the Moose a few weeks back for our usual girls’ night. We went over to Pat’s Pizza in Dover Foxcroft. Ordered a couple of salads to split like we usually do, so we can say we ate something healthy. But really, we were there for the pizza and beer. We’re at that point were you’re thinking, I’m full, but I’d really like another slice because it taste so good. Well, maybe just half a slice. When Betty goes, “I hope none of us made a new year’s resolution to lose weight. Pass me another piece of the sausage and bacon, would you?” Celeste jumps …

Have you ever met someone new, or maybe reconnected with an old friend, and you think, Wow, they’re the nicest person? I mean, you really like them, really connect with them. So you become facebook friends, and oops, now you have to deal with their politics! I mean, the two of you couldn’t be more different. Oil and water. Not only that, they feel compelled to post the most nasty, mean-spirited, in-your-face stuff on a daily basis. Stuff you have to skim over, because it’s just so upsetting. It doesn’t have to be on facebook, either. You could be going to a bean supper or a party. You park your car near a truck that’s …

We sure have had some snow up here in the north country. Well, it’s February. In Maine. What do we expect, right? January is cold and dry and February is a snowy mess. The worse is if you get on one of them “a snow storm every thirty-six hours” cycles, which we had a week or two ago, I think. It’s just a freezing, white blur, so it’s hard to remember. Snow storms are tough on Charlie’s back, my expectations, and both our waistlines. Charlie’s back because even with a plow on the truck, there are still paths to shovel and roofs to rake. My expectations because I’m the kind of person who looks forward …

Tomorrow’s Valentine’s Day, and so I thought shine the spotlight on my sweetheart in this week’s blog. Charlie and me have been together for over forty years, and he can still surprise me. Like when he started writing poetry. One day he saw a blue tarp stuck a tree, and the next thing you know, he’s the the default poet laureate of Mahoosuc Mills. Here’s that first poem, the one that started it all. Blue Tarp in a Tree Drivin’ along, what did I see? A big, blue tarp, up in a tree How did it get there? I thought to myself That’s not the work of some mischievous elf It was right around Whitey’s, …