This time of year in Maine, it’s not unusual to see big groups of wild turkeys walking through the neighborhood. They make their rounds every morning, like it’s one of them progressive dinners, going from house to house, chowin’ down under every birdfeeder on the block. Generally, how men feel about squirrels on birdfeeders, that’s how women feel about turkey’s under ‘em. Squirrels are cute and fuzzy, but let’s face it: turkey’s are just plain ugly.Velociraptor, I call ‘em. Even the baby ones are none too cute. One turkey would be more than enough, but you get fifteen or twenty of ‘em together in your yard and boy, that’s a whole lot of ugly. These …

Few weeks back, Charlie’s out mowin’ the lawn. I’m putterin’ around the kitchen, you know, cleaning the stove top, excavatin’ the vegetable bin, when I happen to look out the window and see Charlie doin’ the two-step around the yard. Weird, I thought, but gee, he can move pretty fast for an old duffer. Later, I see him bending down, lookin’ under our big viburnum, the one by the bird house my niece Caitlin give us. When he comes in, I ask, “Charlie, what the heck were you doin’ out there?” “Mowing the lawn. What did it look like I was doin’?” “Gettin’ ready to audition for “So You Think You Can Dance?” “Very funny. …