We’re living in wacky times, right? So this week, I thought I’d do something a little different. I’ve put together a public service announcement designed to remind us of the stuff we know we should be doing, to get us moving, and to (maybe) make us laugh. I call it the Coronavirus Shuffle. Don’t just watch it, get up off your duff and do it! That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
You may be “sheltering in place,” as they say, but as a cashier down to the A&P, I’m on the front lines of this thing. Global pandemic! Go figure! Folks have totally lost their minds, buying three, four, five hundred dollars worth of unrelated stuff! It’s like that old game show Supermarket Sweep; they’re just throwing things into their carts. The biggies, of course, are toilet paper, milk, and chicken. Why? If you’re going to be stuck inside, wouldn’t you want a nice cut of meat to look forward to? And think of it: you have all this time to slow roast. It’s perfect! The toilet paper baffles me, though. It just don’t make no …
The other day, I was chatting with Charlie at supper, like you do. We’re catching up on our day, what happened at work, all that. I was telling him about running into Claudia Peavey down to the A&P. I’ve told you about Claudia and her husband Kurt before. Charlie and me refer to them as the “Yeah, but’s.” Meaning, don’t matter what you say to them, they’ll “yeah, but” you. For example, I say, “Hi, Claudia. Beautiful day out there, isn’t it?” And Claudia replies, “Yeah, but, it’s supposed to rain tomorrow.” You know the drill. So Charlie says to me, “What’s up with Claudia’s eyebrows?” Charlie asks me questions like this all the time. …
Big day on Wednesday: Charlie’s birthday. Me, I always try to take my birthday off from work, but Charlie doesn’t. “Ida,” he says, “after a certain age, it’s just another day. I don’t want to think about it.” My feeling is, a birthday is cause for celebration, especially after a certain age. I’m on the back nine, as my golfer friend Betty says. Meaning, I’ve lived more of my life than I have left. So I say make the most of it. Heck, why confine yourself to just one day? Celebrate the whole month! Anyhoo, Charlie doesn’t make a big deal of his birthday. Still, I like to make it special. We get up earlier …
When the world’s your toilet, it’s hard to decide where to go and for how long. You gotta think things through and that involves a lot of sniffing. Well, it does for our dog, Scamp. I image it’s like reading the morning paper for the little guy. I admit, I’m more patient for this kind of dawdling or “dog-ling” as I call it, than Charlie is. I figure it’s Scamp chance to catch up with what’s new in the neighborhood. But Charlie’s a man on a mission. “Get ‘er done,” is his motto. He and Scamp have long discussions about it. Our Discussion OK, fella, hup, hup hup! Come here, so I can cinch you …