“Charlie, a hoodie’s like cargo pants, only for your top half.” By the look on Charlie’s face I realized I’d said that out loud. To be fair, it was the day after my Covid booster, and I was feeling a little under the weather. My true feelings just come out. I hate Charlie’s hoodie! It’s okay working around the yard or going to the transfer station or Agway. Fine. But not when we go out to breakfast or a bean supper. I’d tried being subtle, but Charlie wasn’t picking up on my hints. We’ll be going down to the Brew Ha Ha for a bite to eat, and I go, “How about putting on that …

It’s that weird time of year where you’re driving along, glance over into someone’s yard, and suddenly you’re met with a sight that goes against all the laws of nature: a skeleton and a couple of ghosts hanging out with an inflatable turkey, Santa and his reindeer. What?! It’s enough to make you drive off the road. Totally unnatural! Like seeing the mail truck on Sunday. For some reason, I find that spooky. I can’t explain it, I just do. I stand there, frozen, staring out the window as the truck slowly passes by. I’m half expecting that instead of Bobby, our usual mailman, it’s driven by a clown with a white face, gnarly teeth, …

The first frost of the season always takes me by surprise. I’m ready for work, right? Wouldn’t say I’m running late, but I’m not early either. I head out to the car and darn, frost on the windshield. ‘Course we haven’t put the scrappers and winter stuff in the vehicles yet. That would be too sensible. Charlie’s already left for work, and I don’t want to take time to hunt around in the shed for where he hid ‘em last spring. So, I fumble in my purse for my wallet, get out a credit card (usually Victoria’s Secret because I don’t use it that often) and proceed to scrape the window with it. I hope …

I read an article recently that said multi-tasking is an inefficient way of doing things. Hello? Try making supper without multi-tasking! “Here you go, Charlie. Once we’ve eaten our fill of this meatloaf, I’ll start peeling the potatoes.” I think us gals are good at multi-tasking because we don’t have a choice. But it comes at a cost, right? Like the other day, Celeste and me were chatting on the phone, catching up on things and, per usual, talking about our husbands. “Ida,” she says to me, “sometimes I just snap at Bud for no good reason. I feel so bad after. Heck, I feel bad while I’m doing it, but I just can’t help …

I was looking through old photo albums the other day, when I come across this Halloween gem. I don’t know what Irene and me were supposed to be, but it must have been some cold and crappy out. Check out the winter coats and boots. If you look close, you can see Irene has a knit hat on behind her cat mask. Maybe that’s why she’s holding it up, instead of wearing it. (That mask was probably a tight fit with the hat on.) I think I see the hint of a hood behind my mask. And what’s up with Irene’s cape, with the dancing circus dogs on it? My biggest concern when I look …

Charlie come up with a corker this week. Gosh, I love that guy! My BarkaLounger Dream Fishing, that’s what I was doin’ On a lake I’d been canoein’ Water was the only sound No one else for miles around A brand new plug I’ve never tried Pabst Blue Ribbon by my side There I was, doin’ fine Felt a tug on the line Suddenly a children’s scream Destroyed my Barcalounger Dream Destroyed! Kablooey! Demoed! Blasted! Dream was lovely while it lasted Neighbor’s pool, that’s the spot Where kids all gather when it’s hot And shriek with all their kiddie powers Just goes on like that for hours What a bunch of little brats! Imagine adults …

So last Wednesday, I’m having Celeste, Rita, Betty, Dot and Shirley over to the house for a little birthday celebration for Celeste, right? Got the place all spiffed up. I wish I could be more relaxed when entertaining, but I just can’t. It’s important to me that everything’s looking good, clean and tidy. Set the table the day before, so I don’t get jammed up last minute. Splurged on some fresh flowers. Everything’s looking pretty, darn near perfect when I leave for the A&P that morning. See, I get out of work at 5:00, and the girls were coming over around 6:00, so wanted to be able to hit the ground running. Had an uneventful …

A kitchen faucet is something that you use a lot, right? So when it’s running slow, it can be a real pain in the patootie. There you are, wanting a cup of tea, and it takes forever get enough water in the teapot. I mean, you have time to take a nap. It may be irritating to me, but poor Charlie sees that slow running faucet as his own personal failure as a husband. He’ll take this annoyance for so long, then it reaches a tipping point, and off he goes to Petey’s Plumbing with the problem piece. That’s the end of the faucet that you can screw off and it has a little screen …

I don’t really have anything to add to this little ditty Charlie wrote for me. Thanks, honey, you made my day! Stick With Stuff You Do the Best For every nest up in the trees Each bird’s got their specialties Same as us, down below Some of these you prob’ly know: I’m the one who mows the lawn And rakes ’til every leaf is gone But without her, doing laundry, Boy, would I be in a quan’dry! While she lets me hunt for mice She keeps the whole place looking nice Bathroom is all spic ‘n span (Count on me to plunge the can) Trash is not an irritation Haul it to the transfer station …

Saturday afternoon, I was out walking Scamp around the neighborhood when I heard this little girl shriek with delight. I turned my head, like you do, and that’s when I saw it: a young Dad, holding his daughter over his head, helping her fly. And just like that, I was her, that little girl, looking down at my strong Dad, laughing eyes filled with love. Then, in a blink of an eye, I remembered back to that morning, me sitting with my dad, now a confused old man with sad eyes. I’m holding his hand, and he’s saying, “I don’t know. I just don’t know what’s going on.” And I’m thinking, Neither do I Dad. …