Bridesmaids

As you may already know, back in Mahoosuc Mills, I hang out with the greatest group of gals. The Women Who Run With the Moose we call ourselves: Celeste, Rita, Betty, Dot, Shirley and me. Heck, we’ve been close since even before Charlie and me started dating, so that back a ways. We’ve gone through good times and bad together, and I’ve still got the bridesmaids dresses to prove it. If you were in any doubt, bridesmaids dresses attest to the fact that one style is not flattering on all body types, and there are some colors you should never wear, ever. Trust me. I got around that by dressing my bridesmaids in different color …

Adieu, Cora

We had to say goodbye to Cora two weeks ago tomorrow. Turns out she was ours for just two years. What a sweet, little love bug, and every minute with her was worth all the sadness we’re feeling now. Charlie and me were hoping we’d have her longer. Cora would have been thirteen in August, so not that old for a small dog. But see, she got cancer, and about six months ago we knew it was only a matter of time. Cora died as she lived, with grace, dignity and love. She went downhill quickly, and there was no question it was time. Wanting to please us right ’til the end, like dogs do. …

A Different Flavor Whoopie Pie

A good relationship is like your favorite whoopie pie, you know? Sweet, simple and easy. Thing is, what happens when your bakery runs out of the kind of whoopie pie you’ve been enjoying for years? Well, a different flavor can still be good, especially if you’re realistic about your expectations. There’s this gal, Doris, in my book group. She lost her husband Mike a few years back, and just last fall, she started dipping her toe back into the dating pool. Boy, that can’t have been easy. But now she’s seeing a nice fella, Gerry, that she met at church. I run into her the other day down to the Busy Bee. “The weird thing …

Go To Bed Mad

A few weeks ago, my niece Caitlin called me up and asked if she could come over. “Needed my advice about something.” I could tell she was upset. “Sure, dear, I’m here. Come on over. I’ll heat up some water for tea, and have my Certified Maine Life Guide Magic Moose Antlers at the ready!” “Thanks, Aunt Ida.” Poor Caitlin said this with a little hitch in her voice, like she was trying not to cry. Charlie looks up from his paper. “What’s up?” “Oh, that was Caitlin. She’s coming over in about an hour for some girl talk.” “Trouble in paradise?” “That’s what I’m guessing.” Charlie downs the rest of his coffee, and gets …

Sure It’s Ugly, but it Works Like a Charm

The longer I’m married, the more I realized that sometimes, men and women have completely different ways of looking at things. Like a few years ago, out of the blue, Charlie says to me, “Ida, you know what we need?” “A complete kitchen make-over?”  “Smaller.”  “Hmm, I don’t know. A set of Fiesta ware?”  “No, a boot brush?” “A boot brush?” “You know, put it by the door? Has a brush on top? You wipe your boots on it before coming into the house.” “Oh, I’ve seen those. You mean like a little porcupine, with a brush on its back?” “Well, I don’t know about a porcupine. Just your basic boot brush.” “OK, Charlie, I’ll …

Charlie Puts Descartes Before the Horse

Charlie come up with a doozy this week, an anthem of sorts. It’s part confession, part bragging, and not a word of it is true. Right! Think: semi-truck with a cracked muffler.  I Snore I snore, I know Everyone has told me so I sputter, I snort Not a very glowing report I tried elevatin’ Our old box spring Squirt something up my nose But it doesn’t do a thing I snore, so what? I wish that I could keep my mouth shut But I can’t, I’ve tried Even though I sleep on my side I wake up all alone My wife got up at four She fled to the couch Couldn’t take it anymore …

Let Him Retire First

Bud’s the first of our little group to retire. Worked for Gagne’s & Sons Heating and Cooling for what? Thirty plus years, I guess. That’s dirty work, repairing furnaces and the like. Plus, you get called out at all hours, day and night. Weekends, too, don’t matter the weather. And unless you’re doing an annual cleaning, the people you’re dealing with are usually real upset. I mean, it’s ten degrees out, and no heat. They’re all bundled up, seeing their breath inside the house, and Bud’s gotta be the one who tells ‘em their furnace is shot. No fun. Once he hit sixty-five, Bud was outta there. When he started talking about retiring, I says …

Modern Art

Charlie come home from work last Friday, and I could tell he was a little thrown off. Usually, I got dinner all set out for him. “What’s up?” he says, staring at me with my coat on, ready to go. “Don’t you remember? Caitlin’s art opening?” “Oh, gees…” Clearly, he hadn’t. “Come on, Charlie. It’ll be good for us.” See, my niece Caitlin and her boyfriend Adam are part of this group art show at To Bean or Not to Bean, Mahoosuc Mills’s very own coffee shop and performance art space. Just opened up in one of the old mill buildings last fall. I don’t think they’re going to put the Busy Bee out of …

Not for the Faint of Heart

The title says it all. Don’t read this while you’re eating. In fact, if you’re a tad squeamish, give this one a miss. You’ve been warned. As we get older, our bodies change and our bodily functions can get funky. Women are used to enduring all manner of embarrassing stuff when it comes to our bodies. Men, not so much. So, when the you-know-what hits the fan (so to speak), it can shake a guy up. I’ll let Charlie tell you all about it. You’re welcome. She Does the Laundry While my wife does the laundry As best as she can I’ve been pushing the limits Of what she can stand “Have you got a …

What the Heck, Mother Nature!

April nor’easter! Now, there’s two words that should never be used together in a sentence. It’s unnatural, but not unexpected. We’ve had such an easy winter here in Maine, we got lolled into taking our snow tires off and putting away the shovels, scoops, and roof rakes. But, Mother Nature had other ideas. What a kick in the pants! But, us Mainers hardy. We do what needs to be done to put things back in order. We bounce back, like the crocus and daffodils, all of us looking for the sun. Charlie had some cleaning up to do in the yard, as you can imagine. I’ll let him tell you about it.  Such Is April …

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