Charlie and me went shopping for a new gas grill at Home Depot this weekend. The old one was plumb worn out, so it was time. I was on board with it. But let me tell you, I was not on board for two hours of comparison shopping, debating the merits of this one or that one, different “features” and questions, questions, questions, like it’s some kind of fancy sports car or something. Honest to God. And of course, there’s a whole bunch of other guys there doing the same thing. See grilling, for the most part, is a man’s territory. Don’t get me wrong, I use the gas grill. But when I do, it’s …

Bud’s the first of our little group to retire. Worked for Gagne’s & Sons Heating and Cooling for what? Thirty plus years, I guess. That’s dirty work, repairing furnaces and the like. Plus, you get called out at all hours, day and night. Weekends, too, don’t matter the weather. And unless you’re doing an annual cleaning, the people you’re dealing with are usually real upset. I mean, it’s ten degrees out, and no heat. They’re all bundled up, seeing their breath inside the house, and Bud’s gotta be the one who tells ‘em their furnace is shot. No fun. Once he hit sixty-five, Bud was outta there. When he started talking about retiring, I says …

Saturday, I’m on my way home from my weekly appointment with Patsy down to Hair Affair, when on a whim, I turn into the Agway parking lot. Don’t know why, because I’d planned on going straight home to clean the house. It just kind of happened. Generally, Charlie’s the one who shops at the Agway. Me, not so much. But there I was. So, I go inside thinking, Maybe I can find another hanging plant for the deck. Well, no sooner do I get in the door, when who do I see? Debbie Plourde. I hadn’t seen Debbie since Washington crossed the Delaware. She was a year behind me in school. Debbie left Mahoosuc Mills …

I was looking through old photos, and I found this one of me getting ready to celebrate my fourth birthday. Looks like quite a party, huh? There are little cartoon characters on the tablecloth and the ever popular pointy hats. And I’m dressed to the nines, of course. Some things never change. I still like dressing up, but I’ve become more of a tiara and boa kind a gal. And I like celebrating my birthday the entire month of May. One day’s just not enough! Besides, I gotta pace myself. Now me and my friends Celeste, Rita, Betty, Dot and Shirley (aka, the Women Who Run With the Moose) get together once a week for …

Here’s a story of misspent youth, courtesy of Charlie. Physics 101 We saw it all happen, my friend Bud and me From the booth where we sat at the ol’ Busy Bee Waiting we were, for the rest of the boys We heard, of a sudden, this terrible noise Almost as if we were hearing a fight This pickup pulled up to our one traffic light With rock music blarin’, speakers all blown And some jackass yellin’ he’s “bad to the bone” Bangin’ the beat on the side of his door Then hootin’ and hollerin’, yellin’ some more “Who is this clown?” says Bud with a frown The notorious Whitey Junior By that I mean …

So, I’m browsing through People magazine’s “The Beautiful Issue 2018: 41 pages of gorgeous, inspiring stars!” I come to this page filled with photos. “Beauty at Every Age,” it promises. It starts with Elle Fanning, who’s all of 20, and ends with Emma Thompson, 59. I whiz pretty quick through the youngsters, but when I get to the gals in their fifties, I slow down. I can relate more to them. And, I actually know who the heck they are! There’s Viola Davis, Meg Ryan, Robin Roberts, Allison Janney, and they’re looking good. Not too much Botox or injected fillers (though a few have suspiciously smooth necks and jaw lines). I get to Emma Thompson, …

I’m sorry. Having to chip the ice off your windshield in April? Give me a break! I had to go in the shed and fetch the scraper, again. (This was Monday.) Then I lost patience with the scraping, and just turned on the car, put the defrost on high and went back inside. I come back out ten minutes later, it’d barely made a dent! But, it was enough make me hopeful the windshield wipers would do the trick. I mean, I needed to get to work! I turned them on, and the wipers got most of the stuff off the windshield, so I proceed to drive to the A&P. Halfway there, I notice that …

Charlie come up with a doozy this week, an anthem of sorts. It’s part confession, part bragging, and not a word of it is true. Right! Think: semi-truck with a cracked muffler.  I Snore  I snore, I know Everyone has told me so I sputter, I snort Not a very glowing report I tried elevatin’ Our old box spring Squirt something up my nose But it doesn’t do a thing I snore, so what? I wish that I could keep my mouth shut But I can’t, I’ve tried Even though I sleep on my side I wake up all alone My wife got up at four She fled to the couch Couldn’t take it anymore …

Oh, my God! Charlie and me saw buds on our forsythia bush over the weekend! There’s something about that green with a little hint of yellow that’s just so darn hopeful, right? Puts a bounce in my step. The older I get, the more I appreciate spring. Well, all the season’s really, but especially spring. March was true to it’s word. After entering with two, count ‘em, two major snow storms, with power outages to boot, the last half of the month was blessedly lamb-like. I love watching the tide turn, and all of a sudden you realize that there are more patches of ground showing than snow. And wow, the birds are starting to …

Did you give up something for Lent? That used to be a big deal, didn’t it? I don’t think people do it so much, now. Seems the older I get, the harder it is to come up with something to abstain from during Lent. It’s not that I’m so pure. It’s that I’m so boring. All the food stuff I can think of (candy, ice cream, bacon), I shouldn’t be eating anyway. I’m not that big a drinker. And things like snapping at my husband, cursing and being judgmental, well, I should be watching out for those all year long. And giving up sex? Well, that’s a little extreme, don’t you think? Look, me and …