I’m sorry. Having to chip the ice off your windshield in April? Give me a break! I had to go in the shed and fetch the scraper, again. (This was Monday.) Then I lost patience with the scraping, and just turned on the car, put the defrost on high and went back inside. I come back out ten minutes later, it’d barely made a dent! But, it was enough make me hopeful the windshield wipers would do the trick. I mean, I needed to get to work! I turned them on, and the wipers got most of the stuff off the windshield, so I proceed to drive to the A&P. Halfway there, I notice that …

Charlie come up with a doozy this week, an anthem of sorts. It’s part confession, part bragging, and not a word of it is true. Right! Think: semi-truck with a cracked muffler.  I Snore  I snore, I know Everyone has told me so I sputter, I snort Not a very glowing report I tried elevatin’ Our old box spring Squirt something up my nose But it doesn’t do a thing I snore, so what? I wish that I could keep my mouth shut But I can’t, I’ve tried Even though I sleep on my side I wake up all alone My wife got up at four She fled to the couch Couldn’t take it anymore …

Oh, my God! Charlie and me saw buds on our forsythia bush over the weekend! There’s something about that green with a little hint of yellow that’s just so darn hopeful, right? Puts a bounce in my step. The older I get, the more I appreciate spring. Well, all the season’s really, but especially spring. March was true to it’s word. After entering with two, count ‘em, two major snow storms, with power outages to boot, the last half of the month was blessedly lamb-like. I love watching the tide turn, and all of a sudden you realize that there are more patches of ground showing than snow. And wow, the birds are starting to …

Did you give up something for Lent? That used to be a big deal, didn’t it? I don’t think people do it so much, now. Seems the older I get, the harder it is to come up with something to abstain from during Lent. It’s not that I’m so pure. It’s that I’m so boring. All the food stuff I can think of (candy, ice cream, bacon), I shouldn’t be eating anyway. I’m not that big a drinker. And things like snapping at my husband, cursing and being judgmental, well, I should be watching out for those all year long. And giving up sex? Well, that’s a little extreme, don’t you think? Look, me and …

What’s Duffer Brain? Well, I’ll tell you in this short video teaser for my performances of “I Married an Alien!“ this weekend at The Footlights Theatre in Falmouth, ME.

Every house project takes at least two, three, four times longer than you think it’s going to. That box that says “all parts included” is lying. You dive into repairing that little bit of rot outside the front door and discover it’s the tip of the iceberg. And don’t even get me going on window treatments and paint chips! Experience has taught me that if Charlie’s going to be attempting one of these little chores, it’s best if I’m out of the house. So Saturday, when Charlie announced he was going to install our new bathroom blind, I called up my sister, Irene, and we went down to the Busy Bee for breakfast, then on …

Here’s a little video teaser for my upcoming shows at The Footlight Theatre in Falmouth. I’ll be there doing I Married an Alien! March 30 & 31 at 7:30.  

In like a lion, out like a lamb, right? Let’s hope so because two blizzards in two weeks are two too many! I mean, you expect snow in Maine in March, but it looks like February out there. ‘Course we shouldn’t complain because February looked like March. Our snowstorm of a couple weeks ago dumped a foot or so of wet snow on Mahoosuc Mills, leaving the trees and power lines coated with heavy, white stuff. Not great for the power lines, but gosh, it’s was pretty darn beautiful the next morning. Along with the second blizzard, my flu, which I thought was behind me, decided to reassert itself and set up a party in …

I’m letting Charlie handle this week’s blog as I’m recovering from the flu. And yes, I did get the flu shot, but like a lot of things nowadays, it’s not 100%. The good news is I didn’t get as sick as I would have without the vaccine. It’s been a week and I’m starting to bounce back. Luckily, I was able to clear my schedule and do the rest and drink plenty of liquids deal. It’s about the only thing that really works with the flu. And Scamp is a good little nurse. Here’s Charlie’s latest poem. You Don’t Belong Indoors  There’s a stinkbug in the sink where I would really like to shave But to …

Last Thursday, I’m standing at my station at the A&P, register three, when who do I see in the produce section but James Brown. Not James Brown, the Godfather of Soul, the hardest working man in show business. No, I’m talking about James Brown, CPA, father of three and the hardest working accountant in Mahoosuc Mills. Well, since his father retired, he’s the only accountant in Mahoosuc Mills! He may be sharp with numbers, but there he was, hovering over the lettuce, looking perplexed. James married a gal he met at Dartmouth, Courtney Van Buren. The two of them worked in Boston until they were ready to start a family. Then James moved back to …