Summer’s startin’ to rev up, here in Mahoosuc Mills. The last couple of winter’s have been something else, huh? Which makes me appreciate these long, hot, sunny days even more. Insects buzzin,’ bird’s singin,’ flower’s bloomin’, their colors eye poppin’ against the green of our lawns. The clothes on lines, with their bright colors flappin’ in the breeze do my heart good. It’s always such a hopeful time, isn’t it? The world filled with promise. Graduation season is upon us. I love seeing the kids in their prom dresses and tuxes, posin’ for photos in their front yard. The boys still look like boys to me, but the girls? Man, oh, man! I can’t remember …
Charlie and me were out walkin’ Scamp ‘round the neighborhood this weekend when we see Pearl Plaisted puttering around in her yard, dead headin’ her potted plants. So, we stop and chat, like you do. “Hey there, Pearl,” I says. “How you doin’?”. “Pretty good for someone married to a mowin’ fool.” Charlie chimes in, “Hank get himself a new toy?” “Yup, a zero turn mower. Hear it?” All of us listen a minute to the sound of Hank, tearin’ around the backyard on his new machine. Charlie goes, “I thought he had a zero turn.” “He did, but we were over to Home Depot pickin’ up some gardenin’ supplies, and next thing I know, …
Now, as many of you know, a women’s relationship with her hair stylist is a special one, and mine is no exception. It’s a bond born of loyalty, rooted in trust. Heck, no one knows your head like your hair stylist. The way I see it, you’re on a journey together, through the ever changing seas of style. Some storms you weather better than others, but you don’t just jump ship on a whim. Gynecologists come and go, but let’s face it: with hair dressers, you’re in for the long haul. I’ve been going to Pasty since she graduated from Bangor School of Cosmetology and opened Hair Affair some twenty-five years ago. Always on Saturday …
Drivin’ along, what did I see? A big, blue tarp, up in a tree How did it get there? I thought to myself That’s not the work of some mischievous elf It was right around Whitey’s, yard sale heaven Where there’s always one goin’, 24-7 The tarp must’ve blown off their table, I betcha Perhaps Whitey Junior can climb up and get ya His father, I’m sure, will just let the thing be And Junior’s too fat to be climbin’ that tree I guess I could help ‘em to get the thing down But right now I’m busy, see you around! Now, who do you think’s responsible for that little nugget? William Shakespeare? Nope. Me? …
You know how we tend to confide in our hairdresser or bartender? As a cashier down to the A&P, folks tend to confide in me, too, even if they don’t always know they’re doin’ it. ‘Cause checkin’ out a person’s groceries is more intimate than you image. You know who’s drinkin’ a little too much, who has a Doritos habit and who’s addicted to the National Inquirer. You see the same folks once a week, minimum, and you can kind of sense whether they’re feelin’ their oats or not. So I’m workin’ register 3 per usual, cashin’ out Roberta “Bobbie” Robbins, makin’ conversation, like you do. “How’s that cute little dog of yours? Blah, blah. …
Up ‘til the economy tanked, “staycation” wasn’t even a word. There’s a reason for that. See how only half the word resembles “vacation”? That’s a hint as to the outcome of most staycations. At best, they’re kind of like a vacation. At worse, they’re more like a week spent in the Gulag. Charlie and me learned this the hard way a few years back. We’d never taken a staycation, so we thought we’d give it a try. We even made a plan, well kind of. We’d scrape and repaint the deck the first weekend, ‘cause it needed it wicked bad. Then we’d spend the rest of the week doin’ little day trips, you know, makin’ …
“What are you makin’?” asks Charlie. “An apple pie,” I reply. “Mmm! For me?” “No, not just for you! For all of us. Tonight.” “What’s goin’ on tonight?” “We’re having dinner, remember? With Irene and Jimbo?” “We are? When did this come up?” “A couple of weeks ago. I told you!” “News to me.” “No, it’s not. Where’s your calendar?” Charlie pulls out his dog-eared pocket calendar. “I know it’s in there, Charlie. I remember watchin’ you as you scribbled it in. Probably can’t read your own handwriting.” Charlie fumbles through it. “Oh. Yeah. Guess I should look at it every now and then.” “Might be helpful. Anyhoo, if you want pie, that’s what we’re …
A good relationship is like your favorite whoopie pie, you know? Sweet, simple and easy. Thing is, what happens when your bakery runs out of the kind of whoopie pie you’ve been enjoyin’ for years? Well, a different flavor can still be good, especially if you’re realistic about your expectations. There’s this gal, Doris, in my book group. She lost her husband Mike a few years back, and just last fall, she started dippin’ her toe back into the datin’ pool. Boy, that can’t have been easy. But now she’s seeing a nice fella, Gerry, that she met at church. I run into her the other day down to the Busy Bee. “The weird …
As you may already know, back in Mahoosuc Mills, I hang out with the greatest group of gals. The Women Who Run With the Moose we call ourselves: Celeste, Rita, Betty, Dot, Shirley and me. Heck, we’ve been close since even before Charlie and me started datin’, so that back a ways. We’ve gone through good times and bad together, and I’ve still got the bridesmaids dresses to prove it. If you were in any doubt, bridesmaids dresses attest to the fact that one style is not flattering on all body types, and there are some colors you should never wear, ever. Trust me. I got around that by dressin’ my bridesmaids in different color …
You can’t help but think about it. Unless the two of you are in a plane crash or something, chances are, one of you is gonna be the last one standing. And, if you’re like me, you don’t know which is worse: dyin’ first, and makin’ your husband go through that trauma, or him goin’ first and bein’ left all by your lonesome to pick up the pieces. Good thing it’s outta our hands, right? There’s other kinds of leavin’, too, of course. I know from watchin’ my mom go through her cancer journey, your loved one can still be here sittin’ with you, but you’re actively missin’ the healthy person they once were. Same …