Ida Lays Down the Law

Today’s the day, people: the official cut off for Christmas decorations. And none too soon. Why a couple of weekends ago, Charlie and me were drivin’ home from the Brew Ha Ha, and I became a little irritated. “Would you look at that?” I asked. “What?” Charlie replied. “All these Christmas decoration everywhere. It’s the middle of January, for God’s sake!” “You say that every year. Besides, technically they have ‘til Groundhog Day.” “I know, but the real Christmas-y stuff should come down sooner, in my opinion. Like look at that place there. It’s just not right.” Charlie pulls over in front of the house in question. “What are you doing, Charlie?” “Why don’t you …

Taste of My Own Medicine

An incident happened this weekend I’m not proud of. In fact, I’m a little embarrassed to share it with you. But hey, it’s just us, right? So, picture this: it’s late Sunday morning. Charlie’s snorin’ in his Barcalounger. Scamp’s with me in the kitchen, dozin’ on his doggie bed. I’m putterin’ around, minding my own business, when all of a sudden, I feel one comin’ on. You know what I mean. Nobody ‘cept the dog is near, so I just let ‘er rip: long, loud and unapologetic. A real twenty-one gun salute. “What’s that?” Charlie yelps, nearly fallin’ out of his chair. “Don’t know,” I yell. “Must be a car backfiring.” Could have been my …

Candid Camera

The other day, I had the misfortune of seeing some photos taken at our New Years day brunch at Celeste and Bud’s. Rita got a new digital camera for Christmas, and while I’m happy for her, it was like spendin’ the day with the paparazzi! The posed shots are OK ‘cause you have time to assemble your parts and put ‘em where you want ‘em. You wedge yourself between a couple of friends and turn sideways. That makes you look thinner. Then you suck in your gut and do the Princess Diana bit. You know, tilt your head down a little and look up. This kind of camouflages whatever double chin action you got goin’. …

It’s Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas

I don’t know about where you live, but up here in Mahoosuc Mills, seems like the minute Turkey Day was over, folks were flying into Christmas. Big time! Well, Thanksgiving was so late this year. It’s starting to look mightly festive, and you can’t help but being swept up in it. Across the street, the Phinney’s put out their crèche, and it’s beautiful as ever. And Hank and Pearl Plaisted have really gone to town with them icicle lights. Ever since Hank took that header while hanging lights a few years back, they let their son-in-law do all the ladder work. Hank stays earth bound, thank goodness, and keeps busy throwing net lights over their …

I run into my cousin Ronnie’s daughter, Shannon, down to the Wally Mart the other day. She was there with her friend, Emily. They’re cute girls, both in their mid-twenties, unattached. You should have seen their shopping cart loaded to the gills with paper towels, toilet paper, feminine products and about twenty bottles of Oil of Olay. “Wow,” I says, “would you look at that haul!” “We’ve been couponing!” Shannon says. “Got some wicked good deals, too.” “I’ll bet.” Now, working at the A&P, I know my way around coupons. And since the economy went south, I’ve seen more and more people using them. Why not save money where you can, right? Heck, growing up, …

Groggy Morning Musings

I’m feeling a little out of sorts this morning. I didn’t get enough sleep. See, Charlie went hunting with the boys (Bud, Smitty, Pat, Tommy and Junior) this weekend. They stayed up to an old hunting camp that’s been in Smitty’s family for generations. I can’t tell you where it is, because the boys swore a “blood oath” never to reveal it’s location, even, or especially to their wives. Honest to God! With all six of those boys packed in together, you can just imagine the snoring. It’s enough to scare off any predator within half a mile. My husband’s no light sleeper, and it even kept him awake. Combine that with being outside all …

Jo-Ann Fabric Hell

I was at Jo-Ann Fabric, Saturday. I needed some thread to match a button that had fallen off one of my sweaters, and the thread on the other buttons was a shade of blue I just didn’t have in my sewing kit. Isn’t that always the way? “Charlie,” I says, as we pull up to the front door, “this’ll only take a sec.” “Famous last words,” he mumbles. As far as he was concerned, we were at the Mall to see “The Expendables 3.” I know, do we really need another one? Wasn’t “1” and surely “2” enough? But this sort of flick makes Charlie so happy. Plus, we were gonna grab supper at the …

Effects of Sleep Loss Will Keep You Up at Night

Man, I didn’t get enough sleep last night. I feel like I’m in a total fog this morning. I drove about eight hours yesterday, going back and forth to a book reading, which, by the way, went great. I love doing those. But Jeez, that’s a lot of time on the road. Now you’d think that when I got home at 11:00 p.m. last night, I’d be exhausted from doing all that, and you’d be right. But apparently, a little muscle in my left leg wasn’t as tired as the rest of me, and kept twitching just as I was about to doze off. Happens to me every now and then, and it’s irritating as …

The Key to a Happy Marriage

I was out walking Scamp the other day and run into Pearl Plaisted dead-heading geraniums in her yard. “Ida!” she says, “I haven’t seen you all summer. Why don’t you come in for some iced tea, dear?” “Sounds good!” I reply. “It’s some hot out, huh?” Pearl seemed a little stuck in the “half way up” position, so I give her an assist, and into the house we go. “Hank,” she yells, “you decent? Ida’s here.” Scamp loves going over to Hank and Pearl’s place ‘cause that means he gets to terrorize their cat Tiki, named after some football player, I guess. Sitting on the screened in porch, we got to talking about the big …

Last week, I come down with that pesky summer bug that’s been going around. Well, as a cashier down to the A&P, you run into all sorts of folks, some who really should have stayed in bed! So, off I trot to the Rite Aid to pick up some decongestant. On my way through the store to the pharmacy, a few things I didn’t know I needed mysteriously made their way into my basket ‘cause, well, it’s Rite Aid. There’s always stuff you need, right? At the counter, I ask Carrie, the pharmacy assistant, for Advil® Cold and Sinus. You never used to have to do this, but apparently, given half a chance, folks will …

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