Morning Mishap

Saturday morning, off I go to walk the dog. We step onto the deck, about ready to go down the stairs and yikes! That part of the deck collapses and down I go. Luckily, Cora was ahead of me, so she was okay. And so was I, amazingly. Three boards let go and I went straight down about three and a half feet. My first thought was, thank God it wasn’t Charlie. I knew he was going to the transfer station later in the morning and would be carrying stuff. Plus, it was a Ida-sized hole and I landed on my feet in the middle of it. Not a scratch on me. I’m thinking it …

The Bearded Lady

The Women Who Run With the Moose got together for our girls night on Thursday. Betty was hosting and she was serving nachos and these skinny watermelon margaritas. Oh, they were wicked tasty! Right from the get go, us girls were talking a mile a minute, per usual. Hard to get a word in edgewise, but I managed. “So last Saturday, I was at the baked bean supper down to the Congo Church,” I begin, “and who do I run into but Eleanor Purdy.” Celeste goes, “That old gal must be pushing ninety.” “Eighty-eight next week, she told me. Heck, she pretty much announced it to everyone there. Still lives at home. Well, she was …

We’re in Maine!

So, I’m working checkout at the A&P, right? When I hear this conversation out of the corner of my ear: two women, voices lowered, talking fast in an urgent sort way. I mean, who wouldn’t listen in? “He wakes me up every morning at 5:00.” “Every morning?” “Like clockwork. I don’t mind it so much on weekdays. I have to be up for work, anyways. But, it’s the weekends, too.” “You think he’d let you sleep in at least one morning.” “Nope. He just won’t give it a rest. At first I thought it was kind of cute, you know? But frankly, it’s wearing me down!” “I don’t blame you. Not every morning.” Well, my …

Office Supplies Addict

My name’s Ida, and I’m an office supplies addict: highlighters, Post-its, paper clips, folders, organizing bins, free pens, pads of paper in hotels, clip boards, Sharpies in all shapes and sizes, you name it. I’ve tried turning it over to a higher power, but that higher power is usually Staples, if you know what I’m saying. To be honest, I’ve dabbled around with office supplies for years, and most of the time it’s manageable. Sure, I’ve been known to over highlight a book I’m reading or color code activities in my calendar. And I admit I did get a little crazy when the Post-it flags and arrows come out. And, full disclosure, Charlie came close …

Spring Has Sprung

Aren’t the daffodils are just gorgeous right now? There’s something about that green and yellow that’s just so darn hopeful. And the flowering trees are doing their thing. Wow! Puts a bounce in my step. The older I get, the more I appreciate spring. Well, all the season’s really, but especially spring. It’s hard to complain, though some folks manage. And they always seem to come to my register down to the A&P with a full cart, I might add, and coupons! I try to keep it light, but it’s challenging. There’s Claudia Peavey, okay? She a “yeah, but” kind of gal. Don’t matter what you say, she’ll “yeah, but” you. You know the type. …

Can You Say Decrepit?

Last Saturday, my back went out. I mean way out. I have no idea what I did or why it happened. I cleaned the house, but that’s nothing out of the ordinary for the weekend. All I did different is scrub the kitchen counter. The Formica had gotten away from me and was looking kind of grody. It was clean, but there were some unsightly stains. I was using one of them Magic Erasers, which are a miracle of modern science. (I know! I sound like a commercial, right?) One of them marks was stubborn and I had to put some elbow grease into it. Could I have suffered a cleaning related injury? All I …

Random Nuggets

You know how you can look at things but not really see ‘em? This happens to me sometimes when I look in the mirror. I know how to stand so I look pretty good most of the time. Then I see a photo of me, and I’m thinking, “What happened to my neck? Who took that? Guess I’m not as cute as I thought I was.” Well, I was walking with my sister, Irene, the other day. We were strolling around the neighborhood. It’s my usual route, one I walk most every day. Anyhoo, Irene stops and goes, “Look at that sign.” “Yup,” I says. “They have an invisible fence for their dog.” “And what’s …

Carpe pee-um!

For years Charlie has teased me about how often I go to the bathroom. But nature (and age) have finally caught up with him. Charlie has come to realize what the Women Who Run With the Moose have known all along: if you got a chance to go, go! You never know when the next bathroom opportunity will present itself. Our motto is: Carpe pee-um! Here’s his latest. Sir Leak-alot You need things like beer And coffee to live But liquid goes through me As if I’m a sieve Of course that is why, Wherever I am, I’m always the guy Looking out for the can Restrooms, yup, they’re What I seek alot That’s why …

Trapped!

Over the weekend, Charlie and me went to a party at Bud and Babe Delahunt’s. They’re the ones that run the Busy Bee. You know, the bakery here in town? Well, since everybody knows them, it was a biggie. I saw folks I hadn’t seen in years. Plus, the food! Absolutely to die for! The next morning at breakfast, though, Charlie seemed a little distracted. “What’s the matter, dear?” “Oh, nothin’. I was just thinking about that party last night.” “Fun, wasn’t it? How about that chocolate cake with the peanut butter frosting?” “Good thing you saved me a piece.” Charlie just sat there, hands wrapped around his mug of coffee. “What’s up?” “Got cornered …

Can’t Get That Song Out of My Head

Saturday, I took Cora out for her walk. There was a wintery mix situation going on, but I geared up and went anyways. Dogs are great that way. They get you out and about when you’d be tempted to sit around, drinking coffee in your bathrobe. It kinda let up once we got going, so we decided to do our usual half hour jaunt. But on the way back, we weren’t so lucky. A thick rain (I guess you’d call it) started coming down pretty good. Then the wind amp up, right into our faces. So, I’m walking as fast as I can, really in a rhythm with it, when it happens: a song pops …

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