I was at my doctor’s office, talking to her about some digestive problems I’ve been having lately, and she says to me, “You know, Ida, the older you get, the more your body becomes like a nun’s.” That caught me off guard at first, but I pondered it and she kind of has a point. After a certain age, there’s just a lot less margin for error. Gotta somehow keep yourself pure. But tell me, where’s the fun in that? It seems like this happens overnight. But if you stop and think about it, you realize that’s not really true. Our bodies have been trying to get our attention, but we haven’t been taking the …

Charlie went Home Depot last week, and wrote a poem about it. Cute Cashier Cute cashier in the check-out line Perky as heck at the start of her shift Perky’s contagious, you catch my drift? A good day, I’d say she’s begun it If she’d asked me to stand on my head, I’d have done it Or tried, anyway It wouldn’t be pretty I might have more luck If I sung her a ditty But people behind me Don’t need a song They need me to pay her And just move along Cute cashier in the check-out line Perky and cute, that’s a real gift Gives an ol’ bugger like this one a lift A …

The Women Who Run With the Moose got together for our girls night on Thursday. Betty was hosting and she was serving nachos and these skinny watermelon margaritas. Oh, they were wicked tasty! Right from the get go, us girls were talking a mile a minute, per usual. Hard to get a word in edgewise, but I managed. “So last Saturday, I was at the baked bean supper down to the Congo Church,” I begin, “and who do I run into but Eleanor Purdy.” Celeste goes, “That old gal must be pushing ninety.” “Eighty-eight next week, she told me. Heck, she pretty much announced it to everyone there. Still lives at home. Well, she was …

Last Saturday, my back went out. I mean way out. I have no idea what I did or why it happened. I cleaned the house, but that’s nothing out of the ordinary for the weekend. All I did different is scrub the kitchen counter. The Formica had gotten away from me and was looking kind of grody. It was clean, but there were some unsightly stains. I was using one of them Magic Erasers, which are a miracle of modern science. (I know! I sound like a commercial, right?) One of them marks was stubborn and I had to put some elbow grease into it. Could I have suffered a cleaning related injury? All I …

For years Charlie has teased me about how often I go to the bathroom. But nature (and age) have finally caught up with him. Charlie has come to realize what the Women Who Run With the Moose have known all along: if you got a chance to go, go! You never know when the next bathroom opportunity will present itself. Our motto is: Carpe pee-um! Here’s his latest. Sir Leak-alot You need things like beer And coffee to live But liquid goes through me As if I’m a sieve Of course that is why, Wherever I am, I’m always the guy Looking out for the can Restrooms, yup, they’re What I seek alot That’s why …

The other day, I was chatting with Charlie at supper, like you do. We’re catching up on our day, what happened at work, all that. I was telling him about running into Claudia Peavey down to the A&P. I’ve told you about Claudia and her husband Kurt before. Charlie and me refer to them as the “Yeah, but’s.” Meaning, don’t matter what you say to them, they’ll “yeah, but” you. For example, I say, “Hi, Claudia. Beautiful day out there, isn’t it?” And Claudia replies, “Yeah, but, it’s supposed to rain tomorrow.” You know the drill. So Charlie says to me, “What’s up with Claudia’s eyebrows?” Charlie asks me questions like this all the time. …

Charlie and me have never really been great sleepers, and that certainly hasn’t improved with age. I usually wake up every couple of hours. I get up to pee and go right back to sleep, most of the time. Unless I start thinking, of course. A few nights ago, I slept for three straight hours. I got so excited about it, I had a hard time getting back to sleep. Luckily, I’m a good napper. Charlie’s the same. He doesn’t seem to pee all that much during the day, but he makes up for it at night. Here’s his latest. Hardly Slept At All Last Night Hardly slept at all last night Bedtime was a …

My father passed away last Tuesday. He was two months shy of his 90th birthday. We knew it was coming for a few days. Irene and me were visiting, just been there an hour when it happened. Dad was in some sort of twilight place. He wasn’t really with us, but he hadn’t totally left either. Irene and me were laughing about something, and Dad just stopped breathing. The whole thing was so peaceful, not even a sigh. The last thing he heard was us laughing. We’re sad, of course, but relieved and grateful, too. I thought I’d take this week’s blog to remember Dad at his best by sharing a couple quick stories. I …

My sister, Irene, and me visit our dad down to Mahoosuc Green three to four times a week. Sometimes we go together, but most times we go separately. You know, so he gets more visits. Mahoosuc Green is our senior living facility in town. Their tag line is, “Experience your finest senior moments with us.” That may have been true when Dad was in independent living. Not so much when it comes to assisted living and memory care. That’s no fault of Mahoosuc Green. It’s just how things are. As my friend Shirley says, “Getting old ain’t for sissies.” See, Dad has dementia. Though he still recognizes us, thank God! There’s always this moment at …

Today is one of my most favorite days of the year. That’s right, baby: January 2nd. Sure, I love the holidays. Who doesn’t? But like with anything sweet, you can have too much of a good thing. You know it. I know it. And my fat jeans know it. Who am I kidding? Right about now my fat jeans are dangerously close to becoming my skinny jeans. Yowzah! It’s time to put on our leggings and settle in for a long winter’s nap. After all the food, fun and festivities, it’s nice to get back to a routine. I love a routine! Some might call it a rut, sure, but not me. A routine is …