Gotta say, I love my job. Not only is working as a cashier down to the A&P not stop entertainment, it keeps me in touch with all the goings on in Mahoosuc Mills, day in, and day out. I know who’s doing Weight Watchers, who’s drinking too much Bud Light, who’s reading National Enquirer. In my opinion, how people act in a grocery store, is a good indication of how they live their life. For example, let’s say we got a pyramid of navel oranges over in produce and somebody takes one from the  middle, and that whole pile of oranges starts to spill on the floor. Does that person walk away, pretending they had …

You know how we tend to confide in our hairdresser or bartender? As a cashier down to the A&P, folks tend to confide in me, too, even if they don’t always know they’re doing it. Because checking out a person’s groceries is more intimate than you image. You know who’s drinking a little too much, who has a Doritos habit and who’s addicted to the National Inquirer. You see the same folks once a week, minimum, and you can kind of sense whether they’re feeling their oats or not. So I’m working register 3 per usual, cashing out Roberta “Bobbie” Robbins, making conversation, like you do. “How’s that cute little dog of yours? Blah, blah. …

We’re closing in on the first of the year, and none too soon, huh? Boy, working down to the A&P, I’ve seen some mighty stressed out people, let me tell you! No need to name names. You know who you are. And if you’re not one of ‘em, you’ve seen ‘em, too, I’m sure. Men on a mission, running in to get that one last thing their wife forgot. With the eye of the tiger and no time for hellos, they dash into the produce section or down an aisle only to appear at the express lane five or ten or sometimes fifteen minutes later, deer in the headlights, sweat on their upper lip. You …

Ran into Pearl Plaisted at the A&P end of last week. She was doing a little pre-holiday shopping. “Hi there, Pearl,” I says, as I’m ringing her out. “I see you’re gonna to be making some pies for Thanksgiving.” “Yup! Desserts are my department. My daughter Sally cooks the main meal. Oh, and I’m responsible for the homemade cranberry sauce.” “Yum! I bet that’s good. Where’s your side kick?” I ask, referring to her husband. “Haven’t you heard? Hank’s in the hospital.” “He is?” “Pneumonia.” “No! How long’s he been in?” “Since last Wednesday.” “That’s terrible!” “Well, he’d been feeling punky for a couple of weeks. Then, he’s in the bedroom, taking a nap, when …

So I’m working at the A&P on Thursday, when I overhear a conversation between Amy Plourde and Stephanie Jackson that went something like this: “How’d your yard sale go last weekend?” Amy asks. “What a waste of time!” Stephanie replies. “First, we spend all day Friday getting ready. Then, we get up at the crack of dawn on Saturday and haul it out to the driveway, while people with big vans and pick-ups cruise back and forth like sharks, waiting for us to set up.” “Early birds!” “Yeah, a lot of ‘em dealers! When they finally park and get out of their trucks, (leaving them running, mind you), they strut around like crows, picking stuff …

Last Tuesday, Archie Johnson come into the A&P, per usual. He’s what we affectionately refer to in Mahoosuc Mills as a “mangy, old fart.” Lives in a rundown trailer on the edge of town: tires piled in the yard, blue tarps, broken cars on cinder blocks, you name it. I know, sounds like a cliché. But cliché’s come from somewhere. Archie is living proof. Archie generally keeps himself to himself. “Lives off the land,” would be a nice way to put it. Comes into town once a week for “supplies.” Though his looks and odor can be a little off putting (Archie would never get a gold star for personal hygiene), he’s harmless enough. So …

We have a new red light district in Mahoosuc Mills. It’s called self-checkout, down to the A&P. If you’ve ever tried it, you know, it’s harder than it looks. We only have a couple of ’em, but some of the bigger stores down to Bangor have like ten self-checkouts and one of two cashiers on. Sure, if you’re a wiz-bang with tech or if you only have a few things to ring out, go for it. But for most people, it takes ’em two or three times longer than normal, and somebody’s usually gotta be there to help them. Like yesterday, I’m coming back from a break, and I spot ol’ Henry Doucette standing beside …

Got together with the Women Who Run with the Moose last week. It was our girls night, and Celeste was hosting. She has this nice sun porch overlooking her beautiful garden. Flower’s blooming, birds splashing around in the bird bath. It’s a feast real for the eyes. I says, “Saw Gladys Knight down to into the A&P yesterday.” (This is not your Gladys Knight with the Pips, but Gladys Knight, who used to be our Mahoosuc Mills town clerk.) Dot goes, “Didn’t she retire end of last year?” “Yup, place ain’t the same without her. She ran a tight ship.” “That she did. How’s she doing?” “Well, just between us, she didn’t look that good,” …

To retire or not to retire? That is the question, right? Whether it’s better to keep toughing it out or toss in the towel, and see what’s next. Seems like that topic always comes up at get togethers with friends. Or when Charlie and me are having breakfast, or on a road trip. Or in the middle of the night when I should be sleeping, I’m pondering to pros and cons. At parties, we used to talk about work, vacations, what our friend’s kids were up to. Now we kick off with an organ recital. How’d that hip replacement go? Your back still bugging you? How about the colonoscopy prep? We segue from that into …

People have been kind of spacey and tired this week, what with the time change. Me, too. We’re all just kind of…off. Whether we’re springing forward or falling back, it’s a royal pain in the patootie! It’s amazing what screwing around with our sleep schedules can do, right? I mean, it’s just one hour. It shouldn’t make that much difference. But it does. I saw a report on the news that there’s more car accidents and problems at work, even more heart issues. Down to the A&P, me and my fellow cashiers made more voids on the register this week than normal, that’s for sure. No one got hurt, but I gotta say perhaps our …