Saw Franny Ward at the A&P the other day. Franny’s having the time of her life down to Mahoosuc Green, our senior living facility in town. She must have been squeezing in a little grocery shopping between all them classes in flower arranging and exotic pole dancing. Franny is in her early eighties and is always dressed to the nines. This particular day she was sporting a fushia t-shirt with “Born to Sparkle” written in big, sparkly letters across the front. Wow! As if this wasn’t enough, the rest of the shirt had sparkles all over it, too, front and back. Just then, one of our new summer cashiers, Destiny, sidles up to me and …

So the other day, I’m working at the A&P, ringing out Pearl Plaisted when I notice she has on the cutest pair of angel earrings. “Pearl,” I says, “look at those angel earrings. Aren’t they just adorable?” (See, I believe if someone is looking sharp, you should tell them.) Pearl smiles. “Got ‘em down to the Dollar Store. Fifty cents!” “That is a bargain at twice the price! Oh, and look at your angel pin.” “Ida,” she says, “this is my guardian angel. I’ve taken to wearing it ever since that incident down to Home Depot.” No one else was in line, so I shut off my register light, “Do tell, Pearl!” “Well, Hank and …

People were kind of spacey and tired last week, what with the time change. Me, too. We’re all just kind of…off. Whether we’re springing forward or falling back, it’s a royal pain in the patootie! It’s amazing what screwing around with our sleep schedules can do, right? I mean, it’s just one hour. It shouldn’t make that much difference. But get this: on the Monday after we switch to DST, heart attacks go up by 24%. Strokes increase, too. Car accidents climb 17%. I’m reading that folks are more likely to get injured at work due to “attention lapses and micro-sleeps.” Charlie’s sitting at the kitchen table one day last week, working on his second …

I lot of my friends are starting to retire. Or talking about retirement, weighing their options. Charlie is, too. God knows, he’s put in his time in down to the mill. Worked his way up to foreman. Survived all them pink slips as operations got smaller and smaller. Man, it’s been stressful, the not knowing. Not just for Charlie, but for all of Mahoosuc Mills, too. Used to be, the paper mill was the best job in town. Hard work, sure, but good, steady pay and benefits, and secure. Not anymore. Anyhoo, Charlie will be 65 next month, so, yeah, we’ve been talking ‘bout it. It would be great to see Charlie have more time …

Wow! I can’t believe Christmas is already behind us. Covid time is like one of them Slinkys. It’s hard to keep hold of. So’s the current Covid situation. Right now, get this: Maine is a national Covid hotspot. Hard to believe, but it’s true. We did so good for so long up here, and overnight that all went up in smoke. Frankly, I think Santa should be fired. For the second year in a row, what did he bring us? The ultimate stocking stuffer: Covid. I’m vaxed and boosted, of course. As are all my friends and family. Still, we did those rapid tests before getting together in person, Christmas Eve. The Women Who Run …

Folks, I’m feeling a little out of sorts this morning. Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re thinking: Hurricane Ida, right? Like I haven’t heard jokes like that all week. You just wait until you have a hurricane named after you! The last time this happened to me was in 2009, and it seems too soon for it to happen again. Speaking of too soon, and the reason I’m a little down right now, one of the saddest days of summer happened last Monday. You know what I’m talking about: the arrival of our hardy mums down to the A&P. (Sigh.) Sure, they have tight little buds at the moment, but that means we’re only a …

So I’m working at the A&P on Thursday, when I overhear a conversation between Amy Plourde and Stephanie Jackson that went something like this: “How’d your yard sale go last weekend?” Amy asks. “What a waste of time!” Stephanie replies. “First, we spend all day Friday getting ready. Then, we get up at the crack of dawn on Saturday and haul it out to the driveway, while people with big vans and pick-ups cruise back and forth like sharks, waiting for us to set up.” “Early birds!” “Yeah, a lot of ‘em dealers! When they finally park and get out of their trucks, (leaving them running, mind you), they strut around like crows, picking stuff …

Breaking news: Charlie and me got our first Moderna vaccine shot a week ago Friday. Wahoo! Next one’s scheduled for April 9th. That means that by the end of April, we’ll be able to get together inside with small groups of friends and family who’ve also been vaccinated. Hallelujah! What a relief to be finally in the pipeline! On Charlie’s birthday we got the call that our names had come up, and I scheduled our appointment for the next day. I says to Charlie, “What a great birthday present, huh?” “Yup.” “I’m not referring the fact that we got an appointment. I mean, that you won’t have to listen to me go on and on …

How many times have you been running errands, gotten out of your car, been halfway to the door of the store and realized you forgot your mask? I know! Happens to me all then time, and I see it happen to others, too. There’s this quick step routine we do. Sigh and mutter to yourself as you pivot. Walk briskly back to the car while taking your frustration out on the key fob and the car door. Reach in and grab your mask, slam the door and aggressively lock it. Put the darn thing on as you fast march back towards the store. You probably only lost a couple minutes of time, but it seems …

Just because we’re in the midst of a global pandemic, that don’t mean we have to let personal hygiene fly out the window. Come on, people! I have seen some sights down to the A&P, let me tell you! In March and April, maybe into May, it was kinda okay, because salons and barber shops weren’t open and we were making the best of the situation. Many of us got to experience the joy of finding out just how much gray hair we actually have. God knows, I hadn’t seen the true color of my hair in years. Ooh, wee! That was an eye-opener. Men let there hair grow too, of course. On a few, …