You know how we tend to confide in our hairdresser or bartender? As a cashier down to the A&P, folks tend to confide in me, too, even if they don’t always know they’re doin’ it. ‘Cause checkin’ out a person’s groceries is more intimate than you image. You know who’s drinkin’ a little too much, who has a Doritos habit and who’s addicted to the National Inquirer. You see the same folks once a week, minimum, and you can kind of sense whether they’re feelin’ their oats or not. So I’m workin’ register 3 per usual, cashin’ out Roberta “Bobbie” Robbins, makin’ conversation, like you do. “How’s that cute little dog of yours? Blah, blah. …

I run into my cousin Ronnie’s daughter, Shannon, down to the Wally Mart the other day. She was there with her friend, Emily. They’re cute girls, both in their mid-twenties, unattached. You should have seen their shopping cart loaded to the gills with paper towels, toilet paper, feminine products and about twenty bottles of Oil of Olay. “Wow,” I says, “would you look at that haul!” “We’ve been couponing!” Shannon says. “Got some wicked good deals, too.” “I’ll bet.” Now, working at the A&P, I know my way around coupons. And since the economy went south, I’ve seen more and more people using them. Why not save money where you can, right? Heck, growing up, …

As many of you probably know, I work as a cashier at the A&P (actually, it’s been “Super Food World” for at least five years now, but everyone ‘round here still calls it the A&P). So anyways, I’ve been a cashier since before I graduated high school, and let me tell you, I’ve seen it all. I know who’s doing the cabbage soup diet or who’s on Weight Watchers, who has a Ben & Jerry’s habit, who’s been drinking too much Bud Light, who’s reading National Inquirer and who buys Playboy. I can’t name names, of course, because of Super Food World cashier’s code of ethics. But let’s just say, most of the time, I …