The other night, Charlie and me were in the den. He was  watching the tube and I was reading the AARP Magazine when I think, when did this happen? When did I go from joking about this magazine to actually reading it? Not flipping through it, not scanning it, but actually reading it? I mean, finding the articles interesting and helpful. The celebrities on the cover used to be old looking, you know? Now I find myself saying things like, “Gee, that Michael Douglas still is a good looking guy.” In fact, this issue I got more excited about the article called “Your Big Health Questions Answered” than the one about budget vacations. That worries …

We’re living in wacky times, right? So this week, I thought I’d do something a little different. I’ve put together a public service announcement designed to remind us of the stuff we know we should be doing, to get us moving, and to (maybe) make us laugh. I call it the Coronavirus Shuffle. Don’t just watch it, get up off your duff and do it! That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!

You may be “sheltering in place,” as they say, but as a cashier down to the A&P, I’m on the front lines of this thing. Global pandemic! Go figure! Folks have totally lost their minds, buying three, four, five hundred dollars worth of unrelated stuff! It’s like that old game show Supermarket Sweep; they’re just throwing things into their carts. The biggies, of course, are toilet paper, milk, and chicken. Why? If you’re going to be stuck inside, wouldn’t you want a nice cut of meat to look forward to? And think of it: you have all this time to slow roast. It’s perfect! The toilet paper baffles me, though. It just don’t make no …

Well, Charlie had his hip replacement. A week ago, today. Get this: we had to be at the hospital in Bangor at 5:45 am. I know! Had to get up before 4:00, which actually was a relief because neither one of us was doing much sleeping. I says to Charlie, “I can’t believe we’re getting up this early, driving to Bangor, and not getting on a plane to somewhere nice.” He just grunted in response. We arrived at 5:30. “French early,” is what we call that. Unlike some people, we really do think the party will start without us. So we arrived at 5:30 in the morning, and you know what? Charlie walked out of …

After I finished my radiation for breast cancer and started getting my energy back, I realized something. I had never asked anyone where the boob shop is. See, because of where my cancer was located, I had what I’d call a “partial mastectomy.” My medical chart says “lumpectomy,” but honey, they lopped off the top third of my breast. In other words, instead a gentle mountain peak, I’m left with more of a mesa situation. What would you call it? It isn’t really that big a deal. I’ve been stuffing a little sock into my padded bra to balance things out and make my cleavage not look wonky. But the sock was too lumpy for …

In like a lion, out like a lamb, right? Let’s hope so because two blizzards in two weeks are two too many! I mean, you expect snow in Maine in March, but it looks like February out there. ‘Course we shouldn’t complain because February looked like March. Our snowstorm of a couple weeks ago dumped a foot or so of wet snow on Mahoosuc Mills, leaving the trees and power lines coated with heavy, white stuff. Not great for the power lines, but gosh, it’s was pretty darn beautiful the next morning. Along with the second blizzard, my flu, which I thought was behind me, decided to reassert itself and set up a party in …

I had to go in for a mammogram last week. I know! I just finished radiation for breast cancer and I have go in for a mammogram? Don’t worry. They didn’t pancake the tender one, the one that was operated on and then irradiated. No, I get to have a mammogram on that one in six months. This was for my left breast. Now my boobs are on a different schedule. Honey, the girls have seen more action in the past few months than when Charlie and me were first dating! It’s the first time I’ve ever been nervous for a mammogram. Actually, I was a little cranky because I didn’t want to be there. …

I thought I’d bring you up to date with my journey. In case you missed it, I was diagnosed with breast cancer at the beginning of December. For more on that, check out this blog.  It turned out, I only have to do 21 radiation treatments, so I’m already halfway through! I have to go the Cancer Free Center (as I call it) five days a week for my treatment. So door to door, we’re talking about an hour out of my day. Not too bad. My biggest challenge so far is not pigging out on the Lindt balls they have in reception. I usually try to stay with the hard candy and Tootsie Roll …

“How’d you sleep?” Charlie asked me, as he does most mornings. This was a few weeks ago. “Oh, you know, got up every few hours to pee. The usual. ‘Til about 4:00. That’s when I made the mistake of thinking.” “Well, sweetheart, you have a lot on your mind.” “I don’t have a sleeping problem. I got a thinking problem.” “I hear you. Once we have a game plan, we’ll feel better.” “I think you’re right. It’s the not knowing that’s driving me nuts.” See, at the beginning of December, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I know! What a delightful holiday surprise, huh? Not only was I surprised, so was every doctor I dealt …

Just a short one today because I have bronchitis and a sinus infection and Charlie has a cold. Merry Christmas! You know the dueling banjos theme from that movie, “Deliverance,” I think? Come sundown, that’s what it’s like at our house, only substitute coughing for the banjos. I did prednisone and then went on a antibiotic, but this ickiness is lingering. That’s because the real prescription is rest, and that’s hard to do, especially at this time of year. But, I’m trying. I’m making an effort to get to bed between 8:00 and 9:00. Plus, I’ve eliminated as many obligations as I can, and am only doing the fun stuff. It’s kind of liberating, really. …