I was looking through old photos, and I found this one of me getting ready to celebrate my fourth birthday. Looks like quite a party, huh? There are little cartoon characters on the tablecloth and the ever popular pointy hats. And I’m dressed to the nines, of course. Some things never change. I still like dressing up, but I’ve become more of a tiara and boa kind a gal. And I like celebrating my birthday the entire month of May. One day’s just not enough! Besides, I gotta pace myself. Now me and my friends Celeste, Rita, Betty, Dot and Shirley (aka, the Women Who Run With the Moose) get together once a week for …

On New Year’s Eve day, I had an Aha moment. Yup, I’m giving Oprah a run for her money. I was working down to the A&P, wishing folks “Happy New Year,” like you do. And I thought, How many times am I gonna say “Happy New Year” in the next few weeks? It’s just something you do without thinking, right? Well, what if I put some mojo behind it? What if, when I say “Happy New Year” I do it with intention, as my niece Caitlin says. What if I really wish that person happiness in the new year, and at the same time, for myself, too. Kind of an affirmation (Caitlin, again). “I am …

We all know I love Christmas, there’s not double about that. But sometimes you can have too much of a good thing. ‘Course it would help if stores didn’t start putting out their Christmas stuff before Halloween. I say, let Tom Turkey have his day. No decorations up before Thanksgiving. That way it stays special. Still, my holiday spirit is shining bright. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for Charlie. He’s not as big on Christmas as I am to begin with. I know, that’s hard to believe. Sure, he had fun playing Santa at the Down Home Holiday Festival a couple weekends ago. But right now, he’s run outta ho, ho, ho’s. He’ll rally …

Yup, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. The Phinneys got their crèche set up across the street, and Whitey Hebert’s plugged in his tree. ‘Course, it’s easy for him because he leaves the lights up all year ‘round, and that middle strand is still out. Don’t get me started! Mahoosuc Mills is gearing up for our Down Home Holiday Festival. Used to be the Down Home Christmas Festival, but we are now politically correct. The St. Hyacinth’s Christmas Bazaar is part of the Festival. I guess we should change it to “Holiday Bazaar,” but hey, we’re Catholics. Who are we kidding? The Women Who Run With the Moose have a table down to …

Wahoo! My new electric toothbrush has arrived! My old one had been acting wonky for months. It got harder and harder to turn on. And once it was on, it was hard to turn off. It’s amazing when I think about how long I put up with that. Then, it stopped working altogether. So on Cyber Monday, I ordered a new one. Got a great deal on it, too. But at that point, it didn’t matter; I would have gone to Walgreens and bought one anyways. The incident reminded of last summer when we got together with my cousins at Claudette and Roger’s camp. We all stayed over a couple of nights. The last morning, …

“Charlie, a hoodie’s like cargo pants, only for your top half.” By the look on Charlie’s face I realized I’d said that out loud. To be fair, it was the day after my Covid booster, and I was feeling a little under the weather. My true feelings just come out. I hate Charlie’s hoodie! It’s okay working around the yard or going to the transfer station or Agway. Fine. But not when we go out to breakfast or a bean supper. I’d tried being subtle, but Charlie wasn’t picking up on my hints. We’ll be going down to the Brew Ha Ha for a bite to eat, and I go, “How about putting on that …

It’s that weird time of year where you’re driving along, glance over into someone’s yard, and suddenly you’re met with a sight that goes against all the laws of nature: a skeleton and a couple of ghosts hanging out with an inflatable turkey, Santa and his reindeer. What?! It’s enough to make you drive off the road. Totally unnatural! Like seeing the mail truck on Sunday. For some reason, I find that spooky. I can’t explain it, I just do. I stand there, frozen, staring out the window as the truck slowly passes by. I’m half expecting that instead of Bobby, our usual mailman, it’s driven by a clown with a white face, gnarly teeth, …

I was looking through old photo albums the other day, when I come across this Halloween gem. I don’t know what Irene and me were supposed to be, but it must have been some cold and crappy out. Check out the winter coats and boots. If you look close, you can see Irene has a knit hat on behind her cat mask. Maybe that’s why she’s holding it up, instead of wearing it. (That mask was probably a tight fit with the hat on.) I think I see the hint of a hood behind my mask. And what’s up with Irene’s cape, with the dancing circus dogs on it? My biggest concern when I look …

Charlie come up with a corker this week. Gosh, I love that guy! My BarkaLounger Dream Fishing, that’s what I was doin’ On a lake I’d been canoein’ Water was the only sound No one else for miles around A brand new plug I’ve never tried Pabst Blue Ribbon by my side There I was, doin’ fine Felt a tug on the line Suddenly a children’s scream Destroyed my Barcalounger Dream Destroyed! Kablooey! Demoed! Blasted! Dream was lovely while it lasted Neighbor’s pool, that’s the spot Where kids all gather when it’s hot And shriek with all their kiddie powers Just goes on like that for hours What a bunch of little brats! Imagine adults …

The summer holidays are here, and you know what that means, don’t you? Men down to Mikey’s Meat Market buying meat. I was in there on Saturday getting some pork chops for supper, and it was a friggin’ mad house. Now, you don’t get this for your winter holidays. Thanksgiving, Christmas, even Easter, I go into the meat market and it’s mostly exhausted women trying to do higher math. You know, if we’ve got 14 people coming for dinner, how big’s the turkey got to be? Or if the rump roast weighs such and such, how long should I cook it and at what temperature? Man, they don’t ask questions like that on the SAT’s! Your …