Wahoo! My new electric toothbrush has arrived! My old one had been acting wonky for months. It got harder and harder to turn on. And once it was on, it was hard to turn off. It’s amazing when I think about how long I put up with that. Then, it stopped working altogether. So on Cyber Monday, I ordered a new one. Got a great deal on it, too. But at that point, it didn’t matter; I would have gone to Walgreens and bought one anyways. The incident reminded of last summer when we got together with my cousins at Claudette and Roger’s camp. We all stayed over a couple of nights. The last morning, …

“Charlie, a hoodie’s like cargo pants, only for your top half.” By the look on Charlie’s face I realized I’d said that out loud. To be fair, it was the day after my Covid booster, and I was feeling a little under the weather. My true feelings just come out. I hate Charlie’s hoodie! It’s okay working around the yard or going to the transfer station or Agway. Fine. But not when we go out to breakfast or a bean supper. I’d tried being subtle, but Charlie wasn’t picking up on my hints. We’ll be going down to the Brew Ha Ha for a bite to eat, and I go, “How about putting on that …

It’s that weird time of year where you’re driving along, glance over into someone’s yard, and suddenly you’re met with a sight that goes against all the laws of nature: a skeleton and a couple of ghosts hanging out with an inflatable turkey, Santa and his reindeer. What?! It’s enough to make you drive off the road. Totally unnatural! Like seeing the mail truck on Sunday. For some reason, I find that spooky. I can’t explain it, I just do. I stand there, frozen, staring out the window as the truck slowly passes by. I’m half expecting that instead of Bobby, our usual mailman, it’s driven by a clown with a white face, gnarly teeth, …

I was looking through old photo albums the other day, when I come across this Halloween gem. I don’t know what Irene and me were supposed to be, but it must have been some cold and crappy out. Check out the winter coats and boots. If you look close, you can see Irene has a knit hat on behind her cat mask. Maybe that’s why she’s holding it up, instead of wearing it. (That mask was probably a tight fit with the hat on.) I think I see the hint of a hood behind my mask. And what’s up with Irene’s cape, with the dancing circus dogs on it? My biggest concern when I look …

Charlie come up with a corker this week. Gosh, I love that guy! My BarkaLounger Dream Fishing, that’s what I was doin’ On a lake I’d been canoein’ Water was the only sound No one else for miles around A brand new plug I’ve never tried Pabst Blue Ribbon by my side There I was, doin’ fine Felt a tug on the line Suddenly a children’s scream Destroyed my Barcalounger Dream Destroyed! Kablooey! Demoed! Blasted! Dream was lovely while it lasted Neighbor’s pool, that’s the spot Where kids all gather when it’s hot And shriek with all their kiddie powers Just goes on like that for hours What a bunch of little brats! Imagine adults …

The summer holidays are here, and you know what that means, don’t you? Men down to Mikey’s Meat Market buying meat. I was in there on Saturday getting some pork chops for supper, and it was a friggin’ mad house. Now, you don’t get this for your winter holidays. Thanksgiving, Christmas, even Easter, I go into the meat market and it’s mostly exhausted women trying to do higher math. You know, if we’ve got 14 people coming for dinner, how big’s the turkey got to be? Or if the rump roast weighs such and such, how long should I cook it and at what temperature? Man, they don’t ask questions like that on the SAT’s! Your …

Well, we just had our second Covid-Easter, but this one was more hopeful, right? It’s hard to believe that in a little over a year, we’d have a vaccine for this thing. (Three, actually, last I heard.) And more good news: Charlie and me are over halfway to being fully vaccinated. We get our second shot this Friday, and then two weeks later…well, I don’t know exactly what happens. I guess you could say we’ll be baked and ready to come out of the oven, gas gauges on full, our force fields up and lasers set to “stun!” Take that Covid-19! The regulations have changed some down to Mahoosuc Green, so yesterday Charlie and me …

Tomorrow’s the day, people: the official cut off for Christmas decorations. And none too soon. Why a couple of weekends ago, Charlie and me are taking a Sunday drive, and I become a little irritated. “Would you look at that?” I ask. “What?” Charlie replies. “All these Christmas decoration everywhere. It’s the middle of January, for God’s sake!” “You say that every year. Besides, technically they have ‘til Groundhog Day.” “I know, but the real Christmas-y stuff should come down sooner, in my opinion. Like look at that place there. It’s just not right.” Charlie pulls over in front of the house in question. “What are you doing, Charlie?” “Why don’t you leave them a …

When you read that title, what was your next thought? Good riddens, right?” I hear you. Wow, 2020 was one heck of a year! And honestly, one I’d hate to do all over again. Aren’t we all ready to flip the page on the calendar? I sure am. But it’d be sad to miss an opportunity to think about what we learned this year, how we got through it. The coronavirus has this way of shining a special spotlight on things we might have been ignoring, or not appreciating, or just plain clueless about. I’ve come up with some questions to ask yourself. You don’t have to answer all of ‘em, of course, but I …

Charlie and me had a nice, quiet Christmas, just the two of us. (As a cashier down to the A&P, I’m on the front lines, so no socializing with loved ones inside for me.) Yes, it was kind of lonesome, but we zoomed with my sister Irene and her family and my dad down to Mahoosuc Green. That helped. We took a long walk with Scamp on the 24th. I cooked us a nice roast pork dinner with homemade applesauce, twice baked potatoes with sour cream and bacon, a green bean bake and a pineapple upside down cake for dessert. Yum! It poured on Christmas day, just like on Thanksgiving. So, 2020, right? But hey, …