Ran into Pearl Plaisted at the A&P this week. She was doing a little pre-holiday shopping. “Hi there, Pearl,” I says, as I’m ringing her out. “I see you’re gonna to be making some pies for Thanksgiving.” “Yup! Desserts are my department. My daughter Sally cooks the main meal. Oh, and I’m responsible for the homemade cranberry sauce.” “Yum! I bet that’s good. Where’s your side kick?” I ask, referring to her husband. “Haven’t you heard? Hank’s in the hospital.” “He is?” “Pneumonia.” “No! How long’s he been in?” “Since last Wednesday.” “That’s terrible!” “Well, he’d been feeling punky for a couple of weeks. Then, he’s in the bedroom, taking a nap, when I hear …

I was looking through old photo albums the other day, when I come across this Halloween gem. I don’t know what Irene and me were supposed to be, but it must have been some cold and crappy out. Check out the winter coats and boots. If you look close, you can see Irene has a knit hat on behind her cat mask. Maybe that’s why she’s holding it up, instead of wearing it. (That mask was probably a tight fit with the hat on.) I think I see the hint of a hood behind my mask. And what’s up with Irene’s cape, with the dancing circus dogs on it? My biggest concern when I look …

Why am I seeing apples on trees and yesterday at the Rite Aid, Halloween candy? That’s just not right! Summer just got started! The older I get, the quicker the seasons pass. Well, not winter. That one tends to linger, doesn’t it? While sweet, sweet summer is like a blink of the eye. Granted, this summer was a hot one. How hot was it? Well, it was so hot, you break a sweat just sitting there watching the tube. It was so hot, you could fry an egg on the sidewalk, bacon on the hood of your car: sizzling! It was so hot, my house has become a no underwear/no shoe zone. Just a loose …

Did you give up something for Lent? That used to be a big deal, didn’t it? I don’t think people do it so much, now. Seems the older I get, the harder it is to come up with something to abstain from during Lent. It’s not that I’m so pure. It’s that I’m so boring. All the food stuff I can think of (candy, ice cream, bacon), I shouldn’t be eating anyway. I’m not that big a drinker. And things like snapping at my husband, cursing and being judgmental, well, I should be watching out for those all year long. And giving up sex? Well, that’s a little extreme, don’t you think? Look, me and …

Charlie wrote this poem after our first snow. I saved it to share now because this is how I feel about New Year’s Day. Saved By the Bell Remember in school, them happy days when You were stuck in some class that just wouldn’t end? Some stupid subject you had to learn And after Teresa, it was your turn To stand up and somehow pretend that you cared Again you have managed to come unprepared You’re startin’ to sweat, you’re gonna get hell When ring-a-ding-ding! You’re saved by the bell Into the fall, one of my biggest peeves Is havin’ to deal with our acre of leaves Oak leaves and maple, pine needles, too Hours …

Christmas Eve, what did you leave out for Santa? Cookies? A sandwich? Chocolate? Or even better, what did you feed Santa’s reindeer? Carrots? Apples? When my friend Dot’s husband Tommy was a kid, they’d leave out dog food. I think is kind of weird. I mean, these reindeer are magical beings! They can fly, for God’s sake! One year, when Betty’s kids were small, they left out some cookies, a glass of milk. That night, Betty and Pat were so busy putting together a new train set, they forgot to put away Santa’s treat. The next morning, they discovered that the dog Daisy had eaten the cookies and spilled the milk. The glass and plate …

As many of you know, I just love yard sales. I love going to them and I love having them. Because the thing is, if you go to a lot of yard sales, you have to have a yard sale every once and a while to get rid of all the stuff you bought at the other yard sales. Yard sales bring back memories, some good and some not so good. Like last summer during our yard sale, I had a flashback to our worst Christmas ever. I am referring to Christmas 2000, the year of Big Mouth Billy Bass. You remember them, don’t you? That fish mounted on a plaque? It looks normal enough …

December is full swing, so I’m going to jump right in with a gift giving tip for you and your friends that is guaranteed to make Christmas shopping more fun. I’ve shared this before, but it bears repeating. You can read it here, or watch a video of it below.  The Women Who Run With the Moose (that’s me and my friends, Celeste, Rita, Betty, Dot and Shirley) have known each other since God was in diapers, so it may surprise you to learn that we do not exchange gifts at Christmas. Us girls take a more practical approach to gift giving. We call it the “Not-So-Secret Santa.” This is based on the Secret Santa …

We had a happy Thanksgiving here in Mahoosuc Mills. My sister, Irene, hosted and I helped her in the kitchen. That’s always my favorite part of the holiday, cooking with my sister. That and the leftovers. Way too many leftovers. Let’s just say that the turkey was not the only thing that was stuffed. We always, go around the table and say what we’re thankful for. This year, Charlie surprised us with a poem. What a sweetie! Thankful Thankful? What I’m thankful for: A year without a canker sore, Flu or some persistent hack My back did not go outta whack Mower started like a breeze I weren’t attacked by any bees Finally ditched our …

It’s unbelievable how fast time flies as I get older. It seems like it was just Labor Day. We had such a beautiful fall, and I enjoyed every minute of it. But already Halloween is behind us, and Turkey Day is just around the corner. So, I guess we are officially in the holiday season. I mean, Christmas stuff is already in some stores. I say it every year, but it bears repeating: there ought to be a law against that. It’s like mums in August, just too soon. Pumpkins and Santa should not share shelf space. And then you add Tom Turkey into the mix. It’s unnatural!  I’ve been pondering this, and I think …