I was at my doctor’s office, talking to her about some digestive problems I’ve been having lately, and she says to me, “You know, Ida, the older you get, the more your body becomes like a nun’s.” That caught me off guard at first, but I pondered it and she kind of has a point. After a certain age, there’s just a lot less margin for error. Gotta somehow keep yourself pure. But tell me, where’s the fun in that? It seems like this happens overnight. But if you stop and think about it, you realize that’s not really true. Our bodies have been trying to get our attention, but we haven’t been taking the …

Along with this blog, I started writing a “Dear Ida” column in the Moose Megantic Gazette awhile back. I know! Wicking fun. I thought I’d share this letter with you because it’s a classic. It’s already been in the paper, but in case you missed it, here it is: Dear Ida,  My wife don’t think I’m sexy no more. What do I do?  Concerned in Calais Here’s what I said: Dear Concerned,      Who do I look like? Dr. Ruth? I’m short, but not that short!      You want to know how to get your sexy back? Well, let’s see. A man vacuuming, that’s sexy. (Am I right, ladies?) A man snoring away in his …

I had the pleasure of sitting beside Snowdell Holden’s sister, Trudy, at the bean supper Saturday night. Trudy lives in Portland, but spends the summer up to her camp on Scoodic Lake. She’d driven over for the weekend. Like Snowdell, Trudy’s a pistol. Just turned 89, and doesn’t look a day over 79, which is quite a compliment when you’re pushing 90. Over beans, biscuits, cole slaw, hot dogs, not to mention the mac and cheese that somehow wandered onto my plate, we got to talking about Trudy’s life, like you do. Trudy’s a retired nurse, mother of five with eleven grandchildren and three great-grandchildren. She’s been a widow for going on twenty years now. …

When is a bargain a bargain, and when is it a waste of time and money? Case in point:  What a Deal On my way home from the dump I stopped at someone’s sale I smelled a bargain lurking, and This nose, it doesn’t fail I zoomed in on some rubber boots They just jumped out at me The kind you’d wear for hunting ducks, That come up to your knee LaCrosse 800’s what they were And just as good as new They looked about my size, and fully Insulated, too “Are you a ten?” the woman asked Ten is what I wear “Then they should fit you good and snug And keep you dry …

Spoiler alert: I’m going to tell you the whole plot of this flick, so if you plan on seeing it, you may want to skip this post. The Women Who Run With the Moose (me and my friends Celeste, Rita, Betty, Dot and Shirley) went to see the Barbie movie over the weekend. Since you’re reading this blog, this is probably no a surprise to you. Goes without saying, we all wore pink. Easy for me, as pink’s in my color wheel and I have quite a bit of it in my closet. But it was a stretch for Shirley. She’s more of a purple kind of gal. Oddly, the guys expressed no interest in …

Poison Ivy I should have known better Than to mess with that vine Encircling the trunk Of our rugged old pine Snaking its way To the branches it goes Its leaves, you better Be wary of those! I should have known better Than to trim those leaves My arms were bare From my gloves to my sleeves As I sawed a dead branch Right off of that tree That vine began working Its magic on me Ivy, oh ivy That darn poison ivy All over my arms And legs, egad! I got me a case And I got it bad! Late that night Started itching alot Calamine lotion? It didn’t do squat Hopped in the …

My name’s Ida, and I’m an office supplies addict: highlighters, Post-its, paper clips, folders, organizing bins, free pens, pads of paper in hotels, clip boards, Sharpies in all shapes and sizes, you name it. I’ve tried turning it over to a higher power, but that higher power is usually Staples, if you know what I’m saying. To be honest, I’ve dabbled around with office supplies for years, and most of the time it’s manageable. Sure, I’ve been known to over highlight a book I’m reading or color code activities in my calendar. And I admit I did get a little crazy when the Post-it flags and arrows come out. And, full disclosure, Charlie came close …

Aren’t the daffodils are just gorgeous right now? There’s something about that green and yellow that’s just so darn hopeful. And the flowering trees are doing their thing. Wow! Puts a bounce in my step. The older I get, the more I appreciate spring. Well, all the season’s really, but especially spring. It’s hard to complain, though some folks manage. And they always seem to come to my register down to the A&P with a full cart, I might add, and coupons! I try to keep it light, but it’s challenging. There’s Claudia Peavey, okay? She a “yeah, but” kind of gal. Don’t matter what you say, she’ll “yeah, but” you. You know the type. …

You know how you can look at things but not really see ‘em? This happens to me sometimes when I look in the mirror. I know how to stand so I look pretty good most of the time. Then I see a photo of me, and I’m thinking, “What happened to my neck? Who took that? Guess I’m not as cute as I thought I was.” Well, I was walking with my sister, Irene, the other day. We were strolling around the neighborhood. It’s my usual route, one I walk most every day. Anyhoo, Irene stops and goes, “Look at that sign.” “Yup,” I says. “They have an invisible fence for their dog.” “And what’s …

For years Charlie has teased me about how often I go to the bathroom. But nature (and age) have finally caught up with him. Charlie has come to realize what the Women Who Run With the Moose have known all along: if you got a chance to go, go! You never know when the next bathroom opportunity will present itself. Our motto is: Carpe pee-um! Here’s his latest. Sir Leak-alot You need things like beer And coffee to live But liquid goes through me As if I’m a sieve Of course that is why, Wherever I am, I’m always the guy Looking out for the can Restrooms, yup, they’re What I seek alot That’s why …