Ran into Jeanie Anderson at a yard sale over the weekend, and was reminded of an incident that happened a few years back when Charlie and me were having our yard sale. It was a beautiful day for it, too, sunny with low humidity. The early birds had already come and gone, and I’d just finished chatting with Claire Lambert, when who do I see walking up to our yard, but Jeanie. My heart literally skipped a beat. See, I thought Jeanie was going to be in Dexter that weekend, visiting her grandkids. That’s what she told me, anyways, the last time I saw her. And because I knew she wasn’t gonna to be around, …

I ran into my old friend Joan at the DQ the other day. She was ordering a banana split. “Hey there, Joan,” I says. “What are you celebrating?” (See, I knew it had to be a special occasion. I mean, you don’t order a banana split for nothing, right?) Joan goes, “I just went for a stress test. You know, to check out your heart. Make sure you’re not about to keel over.” “Oh, I’ve never had one of those. We’re you nervous?” “You betcha. Number one, I don’t like to break a sweat. Ever. And B, I’m not what you’d call real athletic.” “I hear you.” “Still, I wanted to ace the test. Mostly …

Every year about this time we seem to get ants in the house. It’s just wouldn’t be spring without them. Once summer goes into full swing, they’re gone, but gosh, they’re a nuisance while they’re here. Ants are just so busy and determined. We usually don’t get a ton of ’em, but this year they’re everywhere. Our regular ant traps were doing nothing, so we brought out the big guns, you know, those liquid ant traps. Put them out Friday evening and Saturday morning it was startling. There were lines of ants coming and going. Kind of gross. Yet, we had a hard looking away. So, me and Charlie are standing there, transfixed. “Do ants …

When is a bargain a bargain, and when is it a waste of time and money? Case in point:  What a Deal On my way home from the dump I stopped at someone’s sale I smelled a bargain lurking, and This nose, it doesn’t fail I zoomed in on some rubber boots They just jumped out at me The kind you’d wear for hunting ducks, That come up to your knee LaCrosse 800’s what they were And just as good as new They looked about my size, and fully Insulated, too “Are you a ten?” the woman asked Ten is what I wear “Then they should fit you good and snug And keep you dry …

You know how we tend to confide in our hairdresser or bartender? As a cashier down to the A&P, folks tend to confide in me, too, even if they don’t always know they’re doing it. Because checking out a person’s groceries is more intimate than you image. You know who’s drinking a little too much, who has a Doritos habit and who’s addicted to the National Inquirer. You see the same folks once a week, minimum, and you can kind of sense whether they’re feeling their oats or not. So I’m working register 3 per usual, cashing out Roberta “Bobbie” Robbins, making conversation, like you do. “How’s that cute little dog of yours? Blah, blah. …

As you know, I hang out with the greatest group of gals, Celeste, Rita, Betty, Dot and Shirley or the Women Who Run With the Moose as we call ourselves. Heck, we’ve been close since even before Charlie and me started dating, so that goes back a ways. We’ve gone through good times and bad together, and I’ve still got the bridesmaids dresses to prove it. If you were in any doubt, bridesmaids dresses attest to the fact that one style is not flattering on all body types, and there are some colors you should never wear, ever. Trust me. I got around that by dressing my bridesmaids in different color pastels. Let’s see, Celeste …

When Charlie gets together with the boys, Bud, Smitty, Pat, Tommy and Junior, I always ask him what they talk about. And Charlie says, “Nothing.” Now, I find that hard to believe. I mean, they must talk about something, right? Every once and a while, though, he’ll come home dying to share some tidbit. And you know what? Most of the time, I wish he wouldn’t have. Here’s Charlie’s latest. Junior’s Trick That clever mouse is back, I see The one who makes a fool of me Each time I set my trap for him He runs off with the bait! Peanut butter’s what I use I set the trap before I snooze Next day, …

Crockpots, or slow cooker as they’re calling ‘em nowadays, are real popular in our neck of the woods as you can imagine, especially during the winter months. So I wasn’t surprised this week when I picked up my sister Irene to go to our book group, and she came out carrying her own crockpot. I popped the trunk and she put hers beside mine. “What’d you make?” she asks. “Chili with ground turkey. Trying keep it light where I can, so I can have dessert. How ‘bout you?” “Baked beans with miniature hot dogs.” “Always a crowd pleaser.” So off we go to Donna Gerard’s, across town. The thing is, having a slow cooker in …

Ladies, you know how you can ask, then bug and, I’ll admit it, nag your husband to do something? Then all of a sudden, he does it at the least convenient time possible! Like when the hand towel rack in our guest bath had gotten kind of rickety and I put it on Charlie’s Honey-Do list. There it stayed for, oh, six months. Then on the day I’m hosting my book group’s annual cookie swap, Charlie decides to fix it. Seriously! And of course, it’s not an easy tighten a screw solution. No siree bob, we’re talking drilling, and patching holes and maybe a little touch up paint and why move the throw rug outta …

Ran into Pearl Plaisted at the A&P end of last week. She was doing a little pre-holiday shopping. “Hi there, Pearl,” I says, as I’m ringing her out. “I see you’re gonna to be making some pies for Thanksgiving.” “Yup! Desserts are my department. My daughter Sally cooks the main meal. Oh, and I’m responsible for the homemade cranberry sauce.” “Yum! I bet that’s good. Where’s your side kick?” I ask, referring to her husband. “Haven’t you heard? Hank’s in the hospital.” “He is?” “Pneumonia.” “No! How long’s he been in?” “Since last Wednesday.” “That’s terrible!” “Well, he’d been feeling punky for a couple of weeks. Then, he’s in the bedroom, taking a nap, when …