Early Saturday morning, dog walked, I’m in the yard dead heading my leggy petunias. All of a sudden, I hear a commotion coming from behind our shed. Going to investigate, I turn the corner and see a flash of orangey brown fur and wings flapping. Took a sec to figure out it was a fox killing one of our new neighbor’s chickens. So, I start yelling and waving my arms and the fox runs off. Poor chicken’s done for. I go get a kitchen garbage bag to put it in. It was gross, let me tell you, but it had to be done. Frankly, I was glad I hadn’t eaten breakfast yet. Just as I’m …

I ran into my old friend Joan at the DQ the other day. She was ordering a banana split. “Hey there, Joan,” I says. “What are you celebrating?” (See, I knew it had to be a special occasion. I mean, you don’t order a banana split for nothing, right? Joan goes, “I just went for a stress test. You know, to check out your heart. Make sure you’re not about to keel over.” “Oh, I’ve never had one of those. Were you nervous?” “You betcha. Number one, I don’t like to break a sweat. Ever. And B, I’m not what you’d call real athletic.” “I hear you.” “Still, I wanted to ace the test. Mostly …

You can’t underestimate the power of a good night’s sleep. It’s true for kids, and personal experience has taught me, it’s true for seniors, too. What with my eye situation and the heat, sleeping good has been a challenge for both me and Charlie. ‘Til last night. I’ll let the Poet Laureate of Mahoosuc Mills tell you all about it. The Couch She’s pitching about Like a boat on the sea And pulling the covers Right off of me A night without sleep That’s what I’m dreading I know exactly Where I am heading The couch That is where I always go The couch When she gets to fidgeting so An island of peace Where …

They’re back! Yes, I’m pleased to announce that black fly season is officially underway here in Maine. If you’re from away and unfamiliar with our black flies, oh, you are missing something! Have you ever laid on your back looking up at the clouds, and you start seeing shapes in them? Well, that’s what we do with the black flies here in Mahoosuc Mills. One day last summer, I’m out planting my window boxes and, swear to God, I see this shadow moving across our double-wide. I look up, and sure as shooting, it’s this whole swarm of them, looking one minute like the silhouette of a rabbit, the next like King Kong. Or maybe …

Saw Franny Ward at the A&P the other day. Franny’s having the time of her life down to Mahoosuc Green, our senior living facility in town. She must have been squeezing in a little grocery shopping between all them classes in flower arranging and exotic pole dancing. Franny is in her early eighties and is always dressed to the nines. This particular day she was sporting a fushia t-shirt with “Born to Sparkle” written in big, sparkly letters across the front. Wow! As if this wasn’t enough, the rest of the shirt had sparkles all over it, too, front and back. Just then, one of our new summer cashiers, Destiny, sidles up to me and …

So the other day, I’m working at the A&P, ringing out Pearl Plaisted when I notice she has on the cutest pair of angel earrings. “Pearl,” I says, “look at those angel earrings. Aren’t they just adorable?” (See, I believe if someone is looking sharp, you should tell them.) Pearl smiles. “Got ‘em down to the Dollar Store. Fifty cents!” “That is a bargain at twice the price! Oh, and look at your angel pin.” “Ida,” she says, “this is my guardian angel. I’ve taken to wearing it ever since that incident down to Home Depot.” No one else was in line, so I shut off my register light, “Do tell, Pearl!” “Well, Hank and …

Saturday, my husband come back from the Transfer Station, chuckling. “What is it, Charlie?” “It was classic, Ida. Just classic.” There’s something about that place that gives Charlie a thrill. He always looks so happy loading up the truck with trash and recycling, and heading off into the morning mist. The allure is lost on me, but Charlie’s love affair with the Transfer Station gives me some time alone to putter ‘round before I head off for my weekly appointment with Pasty down to Hair Affair. So, I guess, in a roundabout way, I’m fond of the Transfer Station, too! Remember when the Transfer Station was the dump? Back in the days before cable TV, …

We’ve been having some wacky weather here in Mahoosuc Mills. A few weeks ago we had a snow storm that turned to icy rain. Then, we had a cold snap which left our driveway looking like Antarctica. Since then, we’ve been on a roller coaster ride of cold snaps and spring-like weather. So, about normal for winter in Maine, though so far, February is looking more like March. Go figure! Anyhoo, Charlie’s had a run for his money keeping the driveway up to par, making sure we don’t fall and break a hip. Yet, he did find time to write me a love poem. At first glance, I know it doesn’t look like a love …

Charlie and me were taking a Sunday morning walk, just the two of us. Scamp doesn’t really do walks anymore. We take him out in the yard, where he pees, then stands and sniffs the air for about five minutes not willing to go any further. Guess he’s deciding whether or not he has to poop. Sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn’t. 50/50 chance on those mornings when doesn’t go outside, he realizes later he had to go after all, and leaves a little deposit or two around the house. More times than not in the bathroom, if you can believe it. He’s always been a smart little fella. Anyhoo, Charlie and me were out …

I was looking through old photo albums the other day, when I come across this Halloween gem. I don’t know what Irene and me were supposed to be, but it must have been some cold and crappy out. Check out the winter coats and boots. If you look close, you can see Irene has a knit hat on behind her cat mask. Maybe that’s why she’s holding it up, instead of wearing it. (That mask was probably a tight fit with the hat on.) I think I see the hint of a hood behind my mask. And what’s up with Irene’s cape, with the dancing circus dogs on it? My biggest concern when I look …