Ran into Pearl Plaisted at the A&P this week. She was doing a little pre-holiday shopping. “Hi there, Pearl,” I says, as I’m ringing her out. “I see you’re gonna to be making some pies for Thanksgiving.” “Yup! Desserts are my department. My daughter Sally cooks the main meal. Oh, and I’m responsible for the homemade cranberry sauce.” “Yum! I bet that’s good. Where’s your side kick?” I ask, referring to her husband. “Haven’t you heard? Hank’s in the hospital.” “He is?” “Pneumonia.” “No! How long’s he been in?” “Since last Wednesday.” “That’s terrible!” “Well, he’d been feeling punky for a couple of weeks. Then, he’s in the bedroom, taking a nap, when I hear …

I was looking through old photo albums the other day, when I come across this Halloween gem. I don’t know what Irene and me were supposed to be, but it must have been some cold and crappy out. Check out the winter coats and boots. If you look close, you can see Irene has a knit hat on behind her cat mask. Maybe that’s why she’s holding it up, instead of wearing it. (That mask was probably a tight fit with the hat on.) I think I see the hint of a hood behind my mask. And what’s up with Irene’s cape, with the dancing circus dogs on it? My biggest concern when I look …

Last Saturday morning, our household was up earlier than usual. Charlie was going canoeing with the boys for a few days, and Scamp and me were gearing up for our little spouse-cation. I made eggs and toast for Charlie, sending him off in style, then Scamp and me went for a walk. It was going on 5:30 AM by then, and still dark outside. I don my reflective vest and grab the poop light and off we go. One of the things I love about my fourteen pound personal trainer is that he gets me outside and moving every day. This particular morning, it was in the mid-forties: crisp, clear, and blissfully quiet. It feels …

So, I’m working checkout at the A&P, right? When I hear this conversation out of the corner of my ear: two women, voices lowered, talking fast in a urgent sort way. I mean, who wouldn’t listen in? “He wakes me up every morning at 5:00.” “Every morning?” “Like clockwork. I don’t mind it so much on week days. I have to be up for work, anyways. But, it’s the weekends, too.” “You think he’d let you sleep in at least one morning.” “Nope. He just won’t give it a rest. At first I thought it was kind of cute, you know? But frankly, it’s wearing me down!” “I don’t blame you. Not every morning.” Well, …

Is it too early to switch over your clothes? I don’t know! Once minute, you’re eyeing that cable knit sweater. The next, it seventy degrees out. Same goes for that batch of soup you made on Friday when it was so chilly out. Then, you had to freeze it because it got hot and muggy. Early fall is funny like that. But, I don’t really mind it all that much. Heck, I’ll take every scrap of warm weather I can get! Charlie and me walk Scamp every morning around 6:00. But since the days are shorter now, it’s dark then. That means we have to don our reflective vests and Charlie brings what we call …

I’ve never seen as many dead squirrels in the road as I have this year. How about you? Charlie hasn’t written a poem in awhile, but this squirrel situation made him come out of retirement. Dead Rodents Everywhere! Walking Scamp along the road ‘Twas like a battlefield we strode We couldn’t help but stop and stare: Dead rodents everywhere! Squirrels a-plenty, chipmunks, too And there were more than just a few Critters free of all enslavement Plastered there upon the pavement Acorn hunting in the street Doesn’t always end up sweet They just don’t get alot of warning From commuters in the morning Caffeinated, running late Who has got the time to wait For some …

So I go into Cumbies to pick up a Cow Tail. (For those of you who’ve led a sheltered life, that’s a caramel candy.) It was a reward for .…..well, I can’t remember what right now, but I know I deserved it at the time. I just love them things! Anyhoo, behind the counter is this guy from away whose name is Guy. That’s what it says on his name tag. I’ve seen him there before, but don’t know hardly nothing about him. See, his demeanor doesn’t exactly invite conversation. He must be about my age, I’m guessing: glasses, gray hair and mustache. Big chain around his neck that must have had a gold finish …

You’ve heard that question, “If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” Maybe, maybe not. I wasn’t there, so I don’t really care. But, I was reminded of it last week when Charlie and me were out walking Scamp, and we were passed by a jogger coming the other way. He’s this guy from away who moved in down the street. We see him out jogging quite a bit. Meaning, it’s not like we’re strangers. So I do what I usually do when we see people on our morning jaunt. I smile and say, “Good morning!” I may even throw in, “Beautiful day, …

Last Tuesday, Archie Johnson come into the A&P, per usual. He’s what we affectionately refer to in Mahoosuc Mills as a “mangy, old fart.” Lives in a rundown trailer on the edge of town: tires piled in the yard, blue tarps, broken cars on cinder blocks, you name it. I know, sounds like a cliché. But cliché’s come from somewhere. Archie is living proof. Archie generally keeps himself to himself. “Lives off the land,” would be a nice way to put it. Comes into town once a week for “supplies.” Though his looks and odor can be a little off putting (Archie would never get a gold star for personal hygiene), he’s harmless enough. So …

Saw Franny Ward at the A&P the other day. Franny’s having the time of her life down to Mahoosuc Green, our senior living facility in town. She must have been squeezing in a little grocery shopping between all them classes in flower arranging and exotic pole dancing. Franny is in her early eighties and is always dressed to the nines. This particular day she was sporting a fushia t-shirt with “Born to Sparkle” written in big, sparkly letters across the front. Wow! As if this wasn’t enough, the rest of the shirt had sparkles all over it, too, front and back. Just then, one of our new summer cashiers, Destiny, sidles up to me and …