“Do ants sleep?” I wondered out loud. Charlie and me had just sat down to lunch Saturday (grilled cheese and tomato soup), and there was another one, grabbing our attention by crawling behind the salt shaker. See, every year about this time we seem to get ants in the house. It just wouldn’t be spring without them. Once summer goes into full swing, they’re gone, but gosh, they’re a nuisance while they’re here. We can never figure out where they’re getting in. The screen door? Some window? Who knows? Now if Scamp was more diligent about eating all his food when it’s served, like other dogs, that would help. Instead, he seems to put all …

A few weeks ago now, we had this wicked wind storm. Why, some of them gusts were “kill-a-witch” strong. Meaning strong enough to pick up our double-wide and drop us off in Oz! Charlie and me hardly slept all night. Thank goodness Scamp isn’t anxious in a wind or thunder storm. He saves his Nervous Nellie act for when we’re in the car. ‘Course once things settled down, the yard was a mess. Thankfully, that’s Charlie’s department. See, we have a separate but equal approach to chores. For the most part, I take care of the inside of the house and Charlie takes care of the outside. There is a little crossover. We do the …

Breaking news: Charlie and me got our first Moderna vaccine shot a week ago Friday. Wahoo! Next one’s scheduled for April 9th. That means that by the end of April, we’ll be able to get together inside with small groups of friends and family who’ve also been vaccinated. Hallelujah! What a relief to be finally in the pipeline! On Charlie’s birthday we got the call that our names had come up, and I scheduled our appointment for the next day. I says to Charlie, “What a great birthday present, huh?” “Yup.” “I’m not referring the fact that we got an appointment. I mean, that you won’t have to listen to me go on and on …

Every house project takes at least two, three, four times longer than you think it’s going to. The box that says “all parts included” is lying. You dive into repairing that little bit of rot outside the front door and discover it’s the tip of the iceberg. And don’t even get me going on window treatments and paint chips! Experience has taught me that if Charlie’s going to be attempting one of these little chores, it’s best if I’m out of the house. So Saturday, when Charlie announced he was going to install our new bathroom blind, I called up my sister, Irene. We went for a window visit with dad down to Mahoosuc Green. …

Hard to tell what goes on in other people’s marriages, but sometimes you wonder. Can’t help it. There’s this couple from away that Charlie and me see when we’re out and about. They’ve only been in town a couple of years. We don’t know them and I haven’t been able to dig up much info. I think they pretty much keep themselves to themselves. Charlie and me have nicknamed them Fred and Ethel. About the only time we see them is when they’re out walking or riding their bikes. We’ve never once had just a Fred or just an Ethel sighting. Nope, it’s Fred and Ethel together, and Fred is always smiling. Ethel is friendly …

Charlie and me had a nice, quiet Christmas, just the two of us. (As a cashier down to the A&P, I’m on the front lines, so no socializing with loved ones inside for me.) Yes, it was kind of lonesome, but we zoomed with my sister Irene and her family and my dad down to Mahoosuc Green. That helped. We took a long walk with Scamp on the 24th. I cooked us a nice roast pork dinner with homemade applesauce, twice baked potatoes with sour cream and bacon, a green bean bake and a pineapple upside down cake for dessert. Yum! It poured on Christmas day, just like on Thanksgiving. So, 2020, right? But hey, …

Well, I just had my last performance of 2020, and what a year it’s been. Thanks for sticking with my on this journey! I had a big day yesterday, and am too pooped to write much, so I thought I’d share some video clips from “A Very Ida Christmas!” We filmed ’em a few years back. Enjoy! Ho, ho, ho, and all that jazz! That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!  

The other day I says to Charlie, “We gotta put the grill in the shed for the winter.” Now, I have no intention of doing this myself. It’s the kind of chore Charlie usually does (after I remind him). We both know that by “we,” I mean “him.” It’s the same “we” that comes into play when I say, “Boy, that recycling’s sure piling up. About time we made a trip down to the transfer station.” Or, “We oughta sure up that bottom step on the deck, don’t you think? Maybe put up a new railing?” It’s the royal “we.” I got to thinking about it, asking myself if this is a two way street …

When is a bargain a bargain, and when is it a waste of time and money? Case in point:  What a Deal On my way home from the dump I stopped at someone’s sale I smelled a bargain lurking, and This nose, it doesn’t fail I zoomed in on some rubber boots They just jumped out at me The kind you’d wear for hunting ducks, That come up to your knee LaCrosse 800’s what they were And just as good as new They looked about my size, and fully Insulated, too “Are you a ten?” the woman asked Ten is what I wear “Then they should fit you good and snug And keep you dry …

Charlie went Home Depot last week, and wrote a poem about it.  Cute Cashier Cute cashier in the check-out line Perky as heck at the start of her shift Perky’s contagious, you catch my drift? A good day, I’d say she’s begun it If she’d asked me to stand on my head, I’d have done it Or tried, anyway It wouldn’t be pretty I might have more luck If I sung her a ditty But people behind me Don’t need a song They need me to pay her And just move along Cute cashier in the check-out line Perky and cute, that’s a real gift Gives an ol’ bugger like this one a lift A …