You know how we tend to confide in our hairdresser or bartender? As a cashier down to the A&P, folks tend to confide in me, too, even if they don’t always know they’re doin’ it. ‘Cause checkin’ out a person’s groceries is more intimate than you image. You know who’s drinkin’ a little too much, who has a Doritos habit and who’s addicted to the National Inquirer. You see the same folks once a week, minimum, and you can kind of sense whether they’re feelin’ their oats or not. So I’m workin’ register 3 per usual, cashin’ out Roberta “Bobbie” Robbins, makin’ conversation, like you do. “How’s that cute little dog of yours? Blah, blah. …

Up ‘til the economy tanked, “staycation” wasn’t even a word. There’s a reason for that. See how only half the word resembles “vacation”? That’s a hint as to the outcome of most staycations. At best, they’re kind of like a vacation. At worse, they’re more like a week spent in the Gulag. Charlie and me learned this the hard way a few years back. We’d never taken a staycation, so we thought we’d give it a try. We even made a plan, well kind of. We’d scrape and repaint the deck the first weekend, ‘cause it needed it wicked bad. Then we’d spend the rest of the week doin’ little day trips, you know, makin’ …

“What are you makin’?” asks Charlie. “An apple pie,” I reply. “Mmm! For me?” “No, not just for you! For all of us. Tonight.” “What’s goin’ on tonight?” “We’re having dinner, remember? With Irene and Jimbo?” “We are? When did this come up?” “A couple of weeks ago. I told you!” “News to me.” “No, it’s not. Where’s your calendar?” Charlie pulls out his dog-eared pocket calendar. “I know it’s in there, Charlie. I remember watchin’ you as you scribbled it in. Probably can’t read your own handwriting.” Charlie fumbles through it. “Oh. Yeah. Guess I should look at it every now and then.” “Might be helpful. Anyhoo, if you want pie, that’s what we’re …

A good relationship is like your favorite whoopie pie, you know? Sweet, simple and easy. Thing is, what happens when your bakery runs out of the kind of whoopie pie you’ve been enjoyin’ for years? Well, a different flavor can still be good, especially if you’re realistic about your expectations.   There’s this gal, Doris, in my book group. She lost her husband Mike a few years back, and just last fall, she started dippin’ her toe back into the datin’ pool. Boy, that can’t have been easy. But now she’s seeing a nice fella, Gerry, that she met at church. I run into her the other day down to the Busy Bee. “The weird …

You can’t help but think about it. Unless the two of you are in a plane crash or something, chances are, one of you is gonna be the last one standing. And, if you’re like me, you don’t know which is worse: dyin’ first, and makin’ your husband go through that trauma, or him goin’ first and bein’ left all by your lonesome to pick up the pieces. Good thing it’s outta our hands, right? There’s other kinds of leavin’, too, of course. I know from watchin’ my mom go through her cancer journey, your loved one can still be here sittin’ with you, but you’re actively missin’ the healthy person they once were. Same …

Bud’s the first of our little group to retire. Worked for Gagne’s & Sons Heating and Cooling for what? Thirty plus years, I guess. That’s dirty work, repairing furnaces and the like. Plus, you get called out at all hours, day and night. Weekends, too, don’t matter the weather. And unless you’re doing an annual cleaning, the people you’re dealing with are usually real upset. I mean, it’s ten degrees out, and no heat. They’re all bundled up, seein’ their breath inside the house, and Bud’s gotta be the one who tells ‘em their furnance is shot. No fun. Once he hit sixty-five, Bud was outta there. When he started talkin’ about retiring, I says …

I remember when I first brought the subject up to Charlie. Boy, I hadn’t seen that level of enthusiasm since I told him we were goin’ on the Cabbage Soup Diet. “Geez Louise, Ida. Tell me you’re not serious.” “I am, Charlie, and I’m not takin’ no for an answer. We need to get our papers in order and discuss what we each want if something happens.” “Nothin’s gonna happen.” “Charlie, something happens every time you go out with the boys. Need I remind you of the time…” “No, no, I don’t need remindin’!” “Well, this is what I want for my birthday. Along with all the other stuff you were gonna get me!” That …

Saturday night we went to the bean supper down to the Congo Church. If you’ve never been to one (and that is a sad state of affairs), you usually sit family-style at big round tables. Well, at our table was a couple who’d obviously had an argument before the shindig, and had not left it in the car. All through dinner, they kept sniping at each other. Wow! Is that ever uncomfortable. There’s a big difference between sniping and some gentle ribbing. What is that difference, you might ask? Well, I’d say, it’s about whether you (the person doin’ it) are motivated by love or wanting to make the other person feel as miserable as …

A few weeks ago, my niece Caitlin called me up and asked if she could come over. “Needed my advice about something.” I could tell she was upset. “Sure, dear, I’m here. Come on over. I’ll heat up some water for tea, and have my Certified Maine Life Guide Magic Moose Antlers at the ready!” “Thanks, Aunt Ida.” Poor Caitlin said this with a little hitch in her voice, like she was tryin’ not to cry. Charlie looks up from his paper. “What’s up?” “Oh, that was Caitlin. She’s comin’ over in about an hour for some girl talk.” “Trouble in paradise?” “That’s what I’m guessing.” Charlie downs the rest of his coffee, and gets …

The longer I’m married, the more I realized that sometimes, men and women have completely different ways of lookin’ at things. Like a few years ago, out of the blue, Charlie says to me, “Ida, you know what we need?” “A complete kitchen make-over?” “Smaller.” “Hmm, I don’t know. A set of Fiestaware?” “No, a boot brush?” “A boot brush?” “You know, put it by the door? Has a brush on top? You wipe your boots on it before coming into the house.” “Oh, I’ve seen those. You mean like a little porcupine, with a brush on its back?” “Well, I don’t know about a porcupine. Just your basic boot brush.” “OK, Charlie, I’ll look …