Ida Leclair gives readers a hilarious play by play on shopping for Spanx.

Me and the Women Who Run With the Moose have been wicked busy making crafts for our table down to the Christmas Bazaar at St. Hyacinth’s. It’s all part of our Down Home Holiday Festival here in Mahoosuc Mills, which is always the second weekend in December. Oh, folks come from all over to check out our down home holiday fun. Why the toboggan races alone are worth the trip. This year for our craft project we’re doin’ Pine Cone Pets and Christmas ornaments. Can’t say it’s our strongest effort. Not like the year we did crafts with the shoulder pads we cut out of our dress, shirts and sweater. People couldn’t get enough of …

Me and the Women Who Run With the Moose not only survived Black Friday, we had a heck of a good time to boot. Nothin’ new there. Though, to be honest, my right arm is still feelin’ a little wonky. Must’ve strained it carrying all those shoppin’ bags and my purse, of course, which my sister Irene calls “the overnight bag.” Even though I try to remember to switch off, I always tend to carry the heaviest stuff with my right arm. Gotta say, smart phones and textin’ have made things so much easier. For a casual shoppin’ trip, me and the girls tend to stick together. But all bets are off on Black Friday …

It sure has been busy down to the A&P, let me tell you, with folks stockin’ up on pumpkin pie filling, stuffin’ mix, jello, miniature marshmallows and what not. The smart ones are, anyways. Women who plan ahead, picking up the non-perishable items and dry goods, paper products and drinks, a week or two before the holiday. ‘Cause tryin’ to do it all in one big grocery shoppin’ is overwhelming. Just putting together the list is intiminatin’ enough. And you could get a hernia just pushin’ that shoppin’ cart to your car! Charlie and me go to my sister Irene’s for Thanksgiving. They got more room for all of us over there. I bring the …

I can’t believe it’s the end of August! No way, no how! I don’t care how hot or muggy it’s been, I do not want summer to end. I do not want to see a mum or apple cider or apples in general, unless they’re in a pie at someone’s cookout. I, for one, have not forgotten what a bear last winter was, and I want to hang on to the sunshine, the smell of Coppertone, fresh-cut grass and the feel of a warm breeze on my skin as long as I possibly can. It seemed like it went by in a blink of an eye, didn’t it? That’s what happens when you’re busy. This …

We celebrated Betty’s birthday last weekend with a party over to her house. The whole gang was there. Beautiful day for a cookout, too, and hangin’ out by the pool. So Monday afternoon, Betty gives me a ring. “Oh good, Ida, you’re there.” “Far as I can tell,” I says. “What’s up?” “You wouldn’t believe what just happened.” “Try me.” “Well, this morning I had to call the plumber ‘cause our half bath downstairs was, well, havin’ issues.” “I noticed somethin’ was funky with that toilet, on Saturday. It’s always like that when you have company, isn’t it? If it isn’t the toilet, it’s the garbage disposal backin’ up or the dishwasher starts actin’ wonky, …

As you may already know, back in Mahoosuc Mills, I hang out with the greatest group of gals. The Women Who Run With the Moose we call ourselves: Celeste, Rita, Betty, Dot, Shirley and me. Heck, we’ve been close since even before Charlie and me started datin’, so that back a ways. We’ve gone through good times and bad together, and I’ve still got the bridesmaids dresses to prove it. If you were in any doubt, bridesmaids dresses attest to the fact that one style is not flattering on all body types, and there are some colors you should never wear, ever. Trust me. I got around that by dressin’ my bridesmaids in different color …

Bud’s the first of our little group to retire. Worked for Gagne’s & Sons Heating and Cooling for what? Thirty plus years, I guess. That’s dirty work, repairing furnaces and the like. Plus, you get called out at all hours, day and night. Weekends, too, don’t matter the weather. And unless you’re doing an annual cleaning, the people you’re dealing with are usually real upset. I mean, it’s ten degrees out, and no heat. They’re all bundled up, seein’ their breath inside the house, and Bud’s gotta be the one who tells ‘em their furnance is shot. No fun. Once he hit sixty-five, Bud was outta there. When he started talkin’ about retiring, I says …

Celeste, Rita, Betty, Dot, Shirley and me got together for our girls night out last week, per usual. Betty was hostin’ and she whipped up a batch of her Marvelous Marcel Bars. Oh, to die for! I mean, what’s not to like about something that’s made with not only an entire bag of chocolate chips, but a bag of peanut butter chips, too. After wolfin’ down one with a white wine chaser, Shirley goes, “Thanks, Betty. I needed that.” “Tough day?” I ask. “Not one of Mini’s better ones.” Mini is Shirley’s mom. Lives in the mother-in-law apartment Junior attached to he and Shirley’s house. Shirley’s one of five and the only girl, so you …

Mahoosuc Mills is gearin’ up for our Down Home Holiday Festival. Used to be called the Down Home Christmas Festival, but we are now “politically correct.” The St. Hyacinth’s Christmas Bazaar is part of the Festival. I suppose we should change it to Holiday Bazaar, but hey, we’re Catholics! Who are we kidding? The Festival is a lot of fun. All the stores are open and the town is decorated real cute. The Kiwanis sell trees in the vacant lot where Pomerleau’s store used to be. There’s a horse drawn sled for the kids out in Bucky DuMont’s field. And on Enchanted Mountain, the bunny slope with a rope tow at the edge of town, …