“Geez Louise,” my dad says to me over the phone. “When is this gonna be over? I feel like I’m under house arrest!” “I know, Dad. But it’s going to be awhile. How are you doing?” “I’m hanging in there. I miss you girls.” This is the same conversation I have with my dad, every day. See, he’s sheltering in place over there to Mahoosuc Green, our senior living facility. They’ve been in lockdown for over three weeks now: no visitors, period. Two weeks ago, they stopped allowing residents into dining room, bringing meals to their apartments. And last week, we got this notice saying no care packages are allowed. Even from Amazon! Then you’ve …

Have you tried Zoom yet? Everyone’s doing it. Why not you? Zoom makes sheltering in place a little more fun. (And no, I haven’t been paid by Zoom to promote the thing. It’s just that when I find something I like, I want to share it with my friends.) My niece Caitlin introduced me to Zoom and talked me through it the first time. Over the phone, of course, because we are under “stay at home” orders, here in Maine. Of course, I’m still seeing plenty of folks and their stress-related eating habits up close and personal, what with my job cashiering down to the A&P. Heck, I don’t blame ‘em. Some customers are telling …

We’re living in wacky times, right? So this week, I thought I’d do something a little different. I’ve put together a public service announcement designed to remind us of the stuff we know we should be doing, to get us moving, and to (maybe) make us laugh. I call it the Coronavirus Shuffle. Don’t just watch it, get up off your duff and do it! That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!

You may be “sheltering in place,” as they say, but as a cashier down to the A&P, I’m on the front lines of this thing. Global pandemic! Go figure! Folks have totally lost their minds, buying three, four, five hundred dollars worth of unrelated stuff! It’s like that old game show Supermarket Sweep; they’re just throwing things into their carts. The biggies, of course, are toilet paper, milk, and chicken. Why? If you’re going to be stuck inside, wouldn’t you want a nice cut of meat to look forward to? And think of it: you have all this time to slow roast. It’s perfect! The toilet paper baffles me, though. It just don’t make no …

The other day, I was chatting with Charlie at supper, like you do. We’re catching up on our day, what happened at work, all that. I was telling him about running into Claudia Peavey down to the A&P. I’ve told you about Claudia and her husband Kurt before. Charlie and me refer to them as the “Yeah, but’s.” Meaning, don’t matter what you say to them, they’ll “yeah, but” you. For example, I say, “Hi, Claudia. Beautiful day out there, isn’t it?” And Claudia replies, “Yeah, but, it’s supposed to rain tomorrow.” You know the drill. So Charlie says to me, “What’s up with Claudia’s eyebrows?” Charlie asks me questions like this all the time. …

Big day on Wednesday: Charlie’s birthday. Me, I always try to take my birthday off from work, but Charlie doesn’t. “Ida,” he says, “after a certain age, it’s just another day. I don’t want to think about it.” My feeling is, a birthday is cause for celebration, especially after a certain age. I’m on the back nine, as my golfer friend Betty says. Meaning, I’ve lived more of my life than I have left. So I say make the most of it. Heck, why confine yourself to just one day? Celebrate the whole month! Anyhoo, Charlie doesn’t make a big deal of his birthday. Still, I like to make it special. We get up earlier …

When the world’s your toilet, it’s hard to decide where to go and for how long. You gotta think things through and that involves a lot of sniffing. Well, it does for our dog, Scamp. I image it’s like reading the morning paper for the little guy. I admit, I’m more patient for this kind of dawdling or “dog-ling” as I call it, than Charlie is. I figure it’s Scamp chance to catch up with what’s new in the neighborhood. But Charlie’s a man on a mission. “Get ‘er done,” is his motto. He and Scamp have long discussions about it.  Our Discussion OK, fella, hup, hup hup! Come here, so I can cinch you …

The Poet Laureate of Mahoosuc Mills is at it again! It Could Have Been Worse  Damn snow blower crapped out in the slush So I began to shovel what I could of the mush Now I’m in the recliner, my wife’s the nurse My back is out of whack, but it could’ve been worse      It could have been worse, what else can you say?      Tylenol’s working, I’m doin’ OK      I’ll get to that slush, but first things first:      The Bruins are playin’, it could have been worse The doctor thought I should take a memory test I suspected that I wouldn’t score among the best So it wasn’t …

Ah, Valentine’s Day: that’s a favorite of mine. As a cashier down to the A&P, I get to see first hand all the nice stuff folks buy for their honeys: cards, red roses, and sweets for their sweeties. Plus, I get to wear red, which looks good on me (it’s in my color wheel). And, ofcourse, it’s a chance for Charlie to give me a box of chocolates and for me to bake him a batch of his favorite cookies. They’re your basic oatmeal raisin, except I use Raisinettes, so you get the chocolate and raisin thing going. Try it. They’re delicious! Valentine’s Day also signals that we only have about six more weeks of …

As I write this, Charlie’s out snow blowing. We didn’t get much, thank goodness, just three inches or so. I already cleaned off the cars after my walk with our little guy, Scamp. I was all bundled up anyways, and it’s a snap with my snow rake. Honey, this thing is amazing! It has a long handle with a hard rubber, orange rectangle on the end. I got it last winter to take the snow off the top of my car. This was prompted by an unfortunate incident that happened one day when I took Scamp to the vet for his yearly checkup. Now, Scamp is such a good boy everywhere expect in the car. …