You ever take a vacation, come home and think, It’s just not worth it? You’re out there getting all rested up, having a great time with your husband, eating good food, joking around. Then you get home, and wham! Zero to 60: doing laundry, returning emails, menu planning, grocery shopping and trying to resuscitate the hanging plant outside the front door. Oh, and apparently the power went out while you were gone, and all the clocks need to be reset. Phew! That’s what happened to me this weekend when Charlie and me got back from our little vacation. We took a leisurely drive up the coast, junktiquing and eating lobster rolls, fried clams and onion …

Wow! Hasn’t the weather been wonderful so far this summer? Of course, there’s always those who complain. They see it as their civic duty. It’s too hot, too humid, not enough rain, too much rain. And sometimes, sure, the weather does leave a little to be desired. Then, there are days that are just picture perfect. Our friend Johnny T calls them “a bluebird of a day.” Charlie was so taken with that idea, he wrote a poem about it. A Bluebird of a Day From the western hills last night A rumblin’ did come The rain we’ve needed finally fell We closed the windows some By morning, all that humid air Had up and …

Our pig died. Well, jeez, we’d only had it since the ‘70s. I’d say we got our money’s worth. I’m not talking about a real pig, of course. “Pig” is what we call garbage disposals in this neck of the woods. So off we go to Bangor. They had way too many garbage disposals to chose from at Sears, but this fast talking sales fella, Wayne, easily answered all our questions. “Does this one come with everything we need to install it?” Charlie asks. “Oh, yes,” Wayne assures us. “Everything you need is right in the box.” You can guess where I’m going with this one, right? But stay with me, here. First, I’ve got …

Charlie and me were out for a Sunday drive, and happened to pass Agnes Brown’s place out on Duck Pond Road. “Slow down, Charlie. Look, Aggie’s got ladders up!” “Ida, them ladders been up over a year.” “No!” “Seen them there last winter, under a foot of snow.” “There should be a law! You are not allowed begin another home improvement project ‘til you’ve finished the last one.” “Or in Aggie’s case, the last ten or twenty projects.” “Wow! What a way to live!” “One year, Ida, I kid you not, I think she put up one shingle.” “Come on!” “Really. Billy Pritchard told me. He lives in the grey house over there. Keeps an …

So I’m working at the A&P on Thursday, when I overhear a conversation between Amy Plourde and Stephanie Jackson that went something like this: “How’d your yard sale go last weekend?” Amy asks. “What a waste of time!” Stephanie replies. “First, we spend all day Friday getting ready. Then, we get up at the crack of dawn on Saturday and haul it out to the driveway, while people with big vans and pick-ups cruise back and forth like sharks, waiting for us to set up.” “Early birds!” “Yeah, a lot of ‘em dealers! When they finally park and get out of their trucks, (leaving them running, mind you), they strut around like crows, picking stuff …

Things have slowed down to a crawl at the A&P. It’s not that we have less business or that us employees are losing our touch. No, it’s because of these mysterious “micro chips” embedded into your new credit and debit cards. The powers that be installed the card reader for ‘em last week, and like a lot of things that are supposed to make life easier, it’s turned out to be a real pain in the patooti. Why? Well, if you’ve tried one, you know. First off, if you insert the card too early, we have to start again. If you insert the card too late, we have to start again. If you take it …

The poet laureate of Mahoosuc Mills strikes again, and who could blame him. If Shakespeare had had the pleasure of partaking in one of Babe’s homemade, fresh-from-the-oven, maple glazed donuts, I’m sure he’d have written a sonnet about it. Thankfully, Charlie stepped in to fill the gap. Here’s his latest.  Maple Glazed Doughnut Down to the mill, If you punch in early, ‘Round about ten Your stomach gets squirrel-ly Someone’s elected To go, make it hasty And bring us all back Some coffee and pastry Muffins, of course, Are a popular pick And danish are usually Polished off quick The guys all have favorites They never outgrow, For me, it’s the Maple Glazed Doughnut  On …

They’re back! Yes, I’m pleased to announce that black fly season is officially underway here in Mahoosuc Mills. We got kind of gypped with mud season this year because there wasn’t much snow, but, believe you me, those bebittes never disappoint. If you’re from away and unfamiliar with our black flies, oh, you are missin’ something’! Have you ever laid on your back looking up at the clouds, and you start seeing shapes in ‘em? Well, that’s what we do with the black flies here in Mahoosuc Mills. Yesterday, I’m out planting my window boxes and, swear to God, I see this shadow moving across our double-wide. I look up, and sure as shooting, it’s …

Charlie and me had a great time on Saturday night. We went to a dance down to the VFW. It was a fundraiser for the artist collective that our niece Caitlin belongs to. I don’t know exactly what an artist collective is, but she seems to have a lot of fun with it so it can’t be half bad. The band wasn’t the usual deal we’d go in for, you know rock n’ roll oldies. It was this Latin-type band up form Portland. Oh, what a cute bunch of young fellas, wicked talented and very energetic! When it come right down to it, Charlie wanted to blow the whole thing off. “I’m tired from workin’ …

Recipes for Romance Each chapter of my new book, The Sweet Life, features a little section I call “Recipes for Romance, which is exactly what it says. It could be a real recipe or a recipe for a date. Here’s the first one featured in the book. Give it a try. You won’t be disappointed!      No matter who does most of the cooking––you, him or your personal chef, Mr. Ronald McDonald–it’s important to learn how to make a couple of things your husband’s mother used to make for him (providing he liked her cooking). In the newlywed days, your cooking may be an adjustment for him. If he starts getting that deer in the …