Parking meters used to be easy. You either had enough change, or you didn’t. If you didn’t, you just popped into a nearby store and got some. Now, when me and the girls go to shopping downtown Bangor, we have to deal with those do-it-yourself kiosk-type thingies. If you’ve ever tried self-check out at the grocery store, you know it’s not as easy as it looks. First you have to park, find the kiosk, traipse on over and work your way through this whole slew of steps to get a little slip of paper to put on your dashboard. Then, you have to try to remember where you left your car and leave the slip …

Walker envy. It’s a thing. I know because I’ve seen it down to Mahoosuc Green, where my dad lives. Their motto there is “experience your finest senior moments with us.” Jury’s still out on that one, but I gotta say, it’s a pretty nice place. Dad has a cute little apartment. He eats a meal in the dining room every day and plays “Beano” as he calls it, every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday evening. In March, my dad will turn 86. His days of golfing, bowling, and dating may be behind him, but there’s still a lot of life left in the old duffer. Dad learned the hard way that his walker is his friend …

Ran into Pearl Plaisted at the A&P this week. She was doing a little pre-holiday shopping. “Hi there, Pearl,” I says, as I’m ringing her out. “I see you’re gonna to be making some pies for Thanksgiving.” “Yup! Desserts are my department. My daughter Sally cooks the main meal. Oh, and I’m responsible for the homemade cranberry sauce.” “Yum! I bet that’s good. Where’s your side kick?” I ask, referring to her husband. “Haven’t you heard? Hank’s in the hospital.” “He is?” “Pneumonia.” “No! How long’s he been in?” “Since last Wednesday.” “That’s terrible!” “Well, he’d been feeling punky for a couple of weeks. Then, he’s in the bedroom, taking a nap, when I hear …

Bud’s the first of our little group to retire. Worked for Gagne’s & Sons Heating and Cooling for what? Thirty plus years, I guess. That’s dirty work, repairing furnaces and the like. Plus, you get called out at all hours, day and night. Weekends, too, don’t matter the weather. And unless you’re doing an annual cleaning, the people you’re dealing with are usually real upset. I mean, it’s ten degrees out, and no heat. They’re all bundled up, seeing their breath inside the house, and Bud’s gotta be the one who tells ‘em their furnace is shot. No fun. Once he hit sixty-five, Bud was outta there. When he started talking about retiring, I says …

So, I’m browsing through People magazine’s “The Beautiful Issue 2018: 41 pages of gorgeous, inspiring stars!” I come to this page filled with photos. “Beauty at Every Age,” it promises. It starts with Elle Fanning, who’s all of 20, and ends with Emma Thompson, 59. I whiz pretty quick through the youngsters, but when I get to the gals in their fifties, I slow down. I can relate more to them. And, I actually know who the heck they are! There’s Viola Davis, Meg Ryan, Robin Roberts, Allison Janney, and they’re looking good. Not too much Botox or injected fillers (though a few have suspiciously smooth necks and jaw lines). I get to Emma Thompson, …

This weekend, we celebrated Labor Day with a party up to Dot and Tommy’s camp. The usual gang was there. Late yesterday morning, Charlie and me and Celeste and Bud went out in some kayaks they have up there. We all looked pretty good paddling around, kind of athletic really. But after an hour or so of sitting in one position, you best avert your eyes when it comes time to get out of them boats. Holy Walter Brennan, Batman!  Ain’t aging wonderful? Last week, I walked by the bathroom and glimpsed Charlie in there checking out the hair in his ears and nose. “Time to get out the router rooter, dear,” I says. “Very …

A couple of weeks ago, I had an experience that’s haunted me ever since. So much so, I felt the need to discuss it with the Women Who Run With the Moose when we got together for our girls’ night, Thursday evening. Betty was hosting, and she was servin’ these skinny watermelon margaritas. Perfect for a hot, summer night in Mahoosuc Mills, and for helping the conversation flow. Not that us gals ever have a problem in that department.  “So last Saturday, I was at the baked bean supper down to the Congo Church,” I begin, “and who do I run into but Eleanor Purdy.” “How is ol’ Ellie?” asks Shirley. “Just as sweet as …

Seems like Charlie and me have been going to more wakes and funerals then we used to. Or we’re hearing about a gal we know just got cancer or a guy who had a heart attack. Kind of shakes you up. So much so, I found myself thinking the other day, if I’m the first one to kick the bucket, I hope Charlie gets out there and finds a lady friend to do stuff with. You know, after the appropriate mourning period. I told him I don’t want much. Just my photo with a couple of votive candles burning 24/7!  At our age, the writing’s on the wall. There’s a 50/50 chance, right? You’re going …

Ran into Franny Ward down to the A&P the other day. She was standing in the express lane looking happy as a clam. I was about to go on break anyway, so I shut of my register light and went over to say hi.  Along with me and a handful of others, Franny is one of the Saturday morning regulars with Patsy down to Hair Affair. It’s always the same bunch of women, reading the same magazines, under the same hairdryers, dishing about celebrities and locals alike. We are equal opportunity gossipers. Did you see that movie “Steel Magnolias?” It’s kind of like that, only with snow or black flies. I call us the Sturdy …

I haven’t always been the best sleeper, and Charlie’s snoring doesn’t help. Menopause, either. Though to be honest, I crossed that bridge a long time ago, so technically, I’m post-menopause, which sounds like I’m just this side of dead. Anyhoo, that’s how I’ve been sleeping lately, like the dead, and it’s blissful. Why the improvement? I’d say it’s a combo platter of a few things. First and foremost, Charlie started doing a couple hits of nasal spray before he goes to bed, and it’s made all the difference in the world. His snoring has ratcheted down to a soft purr. I know it’s the nasal spray because during the day when he’s dozing in the …