Seems like Charlie and me have been going to more wakes and funerals then we used to. Or we’re hearing about a gal we know just got cancer or a guy who had a heart attack. Kind of shakes you up. So much so, I found myself thinking the other day, if I’m the first one to kick the bucket, I hope Charlie gets out there and finds a lady friend to do stuff with. You know, after the appropriate mourning period. I told him I don’t want much. Just my photo with a couple of votive candles burning 24/7!  At our age, the writing’s on the wall. There’s a 50/50 chance, right? You’re going …

Ran into Franny Ward down to the A&P the other day. She was standing in the express lane looking happy as a clam. I was about to go on break anyway, so I shut of my register light and went over to say hi.  Along with me and a handful of others, Franny is one of the Saturday morning regulars with Patsy down to Hair Affair. It’s always the same bunch of women, reading the same magazines, under the same hairdryers, dishing about celebrities and locals alike. We are equal opportunity gossipers. Did you see that movie “Steel Magnolias?” It’s kind of like that, only with snow or black flies. I call us the Sturdy …

I haven’t always been the best sleeper, and Charlie’s snoring doesn’t help. Menopause, either. Though to be honest, I crossed that bridge a long time ago, so technically, I’m post-menopause, which sounds like I’m just this side of dead. Anyhoo, that’s how I’ve been sleeping lately, like the dead, and it’s blissful. Why the improvement? I’d say it’s a combo platter of a few things. First and foremost, Charlie started doing a couple hits of nasal spray before he goes to bed, and it’s made all the difference in the world. His snoring has ratcheted down to a soft purr. I know it’s the nasal spray because during the day when he’s dozing in the …

One day a while back, I was at the Rite Aid picking up a few things. Seems like I’m in there every other day. I mean, if they didn’t see me for a week, they’d probably send me a get well card.  Anyhoo, I have a little list of things to get, and on that list, second from the bottom, was “L-Glutamine.” Yes, I thought, that’s definitely my handwriting. But I had no recollection whatsoever of writing it, and no idea what the hell it does. I must have read about L-Glutamine somewhere in a magazine and thought it would be good for me, so I bought it. When I got home, I searched through …

I can’t believe it’s Labor Day already! This summer flew by didn’t it? When the mums arrived at the A&P a few weeks ago, I thought, too soon. Summer has just begun. The older I get, the more time plays tricks on me. It’s like I’m livin’ in a time warp, you know, some crap episode of Star Trek, where time slows down when I wish it’d go faster, and speeds up when I want to linger. Here’s what I mean: I’m getting my teeth cleaned, right? And the hygienist is doing that part where they poke around at your gums. I’m staring into the light just past her head, trying to go to my …

The Sweet Life: Ida LeClair’s Guide to Love and Marriage is officially out into the world. We had a wicked fun book launch and tomorrow I’ll be at the Patten Free Library in Bath doing my first reading. Next week, I’ll be in Hallowell at the Hubbard Free Library. Let the fun begin! The Sweet Life covers all the basics in a relationship including losing your mate, grieving, and in time, maybe starting to date again. Here’s a little something from Chapter 11.      You lost your spouse. You’re still grieving, but some time has passed, and you’re feeling the need for a little companionship. Nothing wrong with that. In fact, it’s a good …

Last Wednesday, my back went out. And here’s the deal: I wasn’t doin’ anything when it happened, just my usual morning routine. I get up, walk Scamp, shower, get dolled up, eat breakfast. I tidy up the house before I leave for work, grab my coat and purse. I’m on my way out the door, and all of a sudden, bam! I get a massive spasm in the lower back. I mean, it was hard to get into the car and to lean over to close the door, almost impossible, but I managed. Sitting in the car wasn’t all that comfortable either, and it never let up all day. Man, was I ever wiped out …

After a certain age, your body changes. You and I know this to be true. The fat in your butt inches it’s way ‘round your stomach. That extra plumpness that was keeping your breasts perky has headed south for the duration, taking up permanent residence on your inner thighs. Your hair migrates from where you want it to someplace else, where you don’t. Then there’s the feet. Women, like me, tend to get bunions caused by shoes that are too tight, too narrow or too high. In short, they’re cute, but impractical. Hey, you have to suffer to be beautiful, right? Men get what Charlie and his friends call “old man feet.” I don’t even …

Did you give up something for Lent? That used to be a big deal, didn’t it? I don’t think people do it so much, now. Seems the older I get, the harder it is to come up with something to abstain from during Lent. It’s not that I’m so pure. It’s that I’m so boring. All the food stuff I can think of, you know, candy, ice cream, bacon and booze, I shouldn’t be indulging in anyway (though I do). And things like snapping at my husband, cursin’ and being judgmental, well, I should be watching out for those all year long. And giving up sex? Well, that’s a little extreme, don’t you think? Look, …

You know, there are just some things you shouldn’t see up close. In fact, if you never had to ever see ‘em, you could die happy. Last week, I had the dubious pleasure of gazin’ upon one of these things: color photographs of my back teeth. Technology is part of this, of course. I mean, just ‘cause it is possible to see your back teeth up close, doesn’t mean you should. Like the photos of my colon the gastroenterologist sent me home with last year. What was I supposed to do with those? Make Christmas cards out of ‘em? Anyhoo, I bit the bullet and went to the dentist last week. I confess, it had …