Saw Franny Ward at the A&P the other day. Franny’s having the time of her life down to Mahoosuc Green, our senior living facility in town. She must have been squeezing in a little grocery shopping between all them classes in flower arranging and exotic pole dancing. Franny is in her early eighties and is always dressed to the nines. This particular day she was sporting a fushia t-shirt with “Born to Sparkle” written in big, sparkly letters across the front. Wow! As if this wasn’t enough, the rest of the shirt had sparkles all over it, too, front and back. Just then, one of our new summer cashiers, Destiny, sidles up to me and …

Oh, my God! Charlie and me saw buds on our forsythia bush over the weekend! There’s something about that green with a little hint of yellow that’s just so darn hopeful, right? Puts a bounce in my step. The older I get, the more I appreciate spring. Well, all the season’s really, but especially spring. March was true to it’s word. After entering with two, count ‘em, two major snow storms, with power outages to boot, the last half of the month was blessedly lamb-like. I love watching the tide turn, and all of a sudden you realize that there are more patches of ground showing than snow. And wow, the birds are starting to …

Last Thursday, I’m standing at my station at the A&P, register three, when who do I see in the produce section but James Brown. Not James Brown, the Godfather of Soul, the hardest working man in show business. No, I’m talking about James Brown, CPA, father of three and the hardest working accountant in Mahoosuc Mills. Well, since his father retired, he’s the only accountant in Mahoosuc Mills! He may be sharp with numbers, but there he was, hovering over the lettuce, looking perplexed. James married a gal he met at Dartmouth, Courtney Van Buren. The two of them worked in Boston until they were ready to start a family. Then James moved back to …

It’s only the end of July, and boy, haven’t we had one heck of a tourist season already here in Mahoosuc Mills! I don’t get it. Some of these people from away drive hundreds of miles in their fancy SUVs to get away from it all, then they complain that it’s not more like home. “Don’t you have a Starbucks in town?” “The cell phone coverage stinks.” “The loons are keeping me up at night.” Folks, if you wanted to be miserable, you could have saved the gas and stayed home. Not everyone is like that, of course. But the ones who are kind of stand out. Down to the A&P, it’s been wicked busy, …

Ran into Franny Ward down to the A&P the other day. She was standing in the express lane looking happy as a clam. I was about to go on break anyway, so I shut of my register light and went over to say hi.  Along with me and a handful of others, Franny is one of the Saturday morning regulars with Patsy down to Hair Affair. It’s always the same bunch of women, reading the same magazines, under the same hairdryers, dishing about celebrities and locals alike. We are equal opportunity gossipers. Did you see that movie “Steel Magnolias?” It’s kind of like that, only with snow or black flies. I call us the Sturdy …

So I’m working at the A&P on Thursday, when I overhear a conversation between Amy Plourde and Stephanie Jackson that went something like this: “How’d your yard sale go last weekend?” Amy asks. “What a waste of time!” Stephanie replies. “First, we spend all day Friday getting ready. Then, we get up at the crack of dawn on Saturday and haul it out to the driveway, while people with big vans and pick-ups cruise back and forth like sharks, waiting for us to set up.” “Early birds!” “Yeah, a lot of ‘em dealers! When they finally park and get out of their trucks, (leaving them running, mind you), they strut around like crows, picking stuff …

Things have slowed down to a crawl at the A&P. It’s not that we have less business or that us employees are losing our touch. No, it’s because of these mysterious “micro chips” embedded into your new credit and debit cards. The powers that be installed the card reader for ‘em last week, and like a lot of things that are supposed to make life easier, it’s turned out to be a real pain in the patooti. Why? Well, if you’ve tried one, you know. First off, if you insert the card too early, we have to start again. If you insert the card too late, we have to start again. If you take it …

The warmer weather brings all sorts of creatures out of their hidey holes. The chipmunks are making a ruckus in the yard and we have 100% occupancy in our bird houses––five in all. Down to the A&P, I’ve spotted many a young buck in his spring uniform of choice: shorts, t-shirt, flip flops and a polar fleece vest. His female counterpart is wearing flip flops, too, usually with skinny jeans, a t-shirt and a big scarf. A variation of this getup is to substitute UGG’s for the flip flops and short-shorts for the jeans. Apparently, these young folk subscribe to wardrobe averaging. Meaning summer clothes, plus one winter item equals a legitimate spring ensemble. For …

Ida discusses her fascination with the TLC show, “Extreme Couponing.”

So, I’m working checkout at the A&P, right? When I hear this conversation out of the corner of my ear: two women, voices lowered, talking fast in a urgent sort way. I mean, who wouldn’t listen in? “He wakes me up every morning at 5:00.” “Every morning?” “Like clockwork. I don’t mind it so much on week days. I have to be up for work, anyways. But, it’s the weekends, too.” “You think he’d let you sleep in at least one morning.” “Nope. He just won’t give it a rest. At first I thought it was kind of  cute, you know? But frankly, it’s wearing me down!” “I don’t blame you. Not every morning.” Well, …