When Charlie gets together with the boys, Bud, Smitty, Pat, Tommy and Junior, I always ask him what they talk about. And Charlie says, “Nothing.” Now, I find that hard to believe. I mean, they must talk about something, right? Every once and a while, though, he’ll come home dying to share some tidbit. And you know what? Most of the time, I wish he wouldn’t have. Here’s Charlie’s latest. Junior’s Trick That clever mouse is back, I see The one who makes a fool of me Each time I set my trap for him He runs off with the bait! Peanut butter’s what I use I set the trap before I snooze Next day, …

For years Charlie has teased me about how often I go to the bathroom. But nature (and age) have finally caught up with him. Charlie has come to realize what the Women Who Run With the Moose have known all along: if you got a chance to go, go! You never know when the next bathroom opportunity will present itself. Our motto is: Carpe pee-um! Here’s his latest. Sir Leak-alot You need things like beer And coffee to live But liquid goes through me As if I’m a sieve Of course that is why, Wherever I am, I’m always the guy Looking out for the can Restrooms, yup, they’re What I seek alot That’s why …

Lately, Charlie’s been driving me crazy with all his aches and pains. Actually, it’s not the aches and pains, because I get it, we’re old. It’s the fact that he won’t do anything about ’em. And when I gently suggest he maybe take a Tylanol and call the doctor to see what’s what, we end up with a shoot the messenger situation. I’m worried about him and want to strangle him, all at the same time. I’ll let him complain to you for a change. Write What You Know I’ve heard ’em say, “Write what you know” OK, I’ll give it a go: My ingrown toenail, let’s start there A daily source of my despair …

During the summer, when I’d find myself talking to someone with the sniffles, and I’d ask, “Are you sick?” “No, it’s just allergies. They’re wicked bad this year.” And I’d breathe a sigh of relief, because you know what? I don’t have time to get sick. I mean, who does? But now we’re heading into the fall, my friends, and that means cold and flu season will be here before you know it. Throw in Covid, RSV and whatever new creeping crud is on the horizon, we need to be considerate of others. I’m begging you, if you’re sick, stay home! You’ll get better quicker if you take care of yourself, and you won’t be …

Here’s a story of misspent youth, courtesy of Charlie. Physics 101 We saw it all happen, my friend Bud and me From the booth where we sat at the ol’ Busy Bee Waiting we were, for the rest of the boys We heard, of a sudden, this terrible noise Almost as if we were hearing a fight This pickup pulled up to our one traffic light With rock music blarin’, speakers all blown And some jackass yellin’ he’s “bad to the bone” Bangin’ the beat on the side of his door Then hootin’ and hollerin’, yellin’ some more “Who is this clown?” says Bud with a frown The notorious Whitey Junior By that I mean …

Charlie’s ideal outdoor temperature is about 50 to 75 degrees. More than that, he starts to droop. In heatwave like we’ve been having, he’s like a plant I forgot to water. And frankly, he can get a little cranky. Here’s the cheery poem he wrote the other day. Enjoy! Lucky Me Turkey in the road Last night Swerved to miss him Didn’t quite Then this morning, Saddened me: I ripped right through My favorite T Bananas, we got Two around And both of them Are squishy brown I thought I fixed Our kitchen faucet It still leaks I should toss it Out of gas It’s always so With just one section Left to mow My …

We just had a heat wave in Mahoosuc Mills. High 90’s in June, for God sake! When I was young, I can’t remember the temperature getting hotter than low 80’s in the height of summer. Thank goodness the A&P is air conditioned! What a difference that makes. You can almost see it on people’s faces when they walk in. They perk up a little. “Hot enough for you?” they ask. Oh, if had a dollar for every time someone said that, I’d been wealthy woman. Now, you’d think being in that air-conditioning would improve everyone’s mood, but for some, it just gives them more energy to complain. See heat like that can make folks cranky. …

Went to a plant sale in front of town hall on Saturday. It was sponsored by the Mahoosuc Mills Garden Club. They’re the ones that keep our town looking spiffy all summer long, with flowers in big containers along Main Street. They always have some nice plants, and the money goes to a good cause, so it’s a win/win. The Garden Club members are big into gardening, as you can imagine. Some more than others. I’ll let Charlie tell you about it. Goin’ to the Plant Sale So, I’m at the local plant sale Holding something Ida’s found “Charlie, would you wait here While I have a look around?” What’s that buzzing I keep hearing …

I don’t know what’s gotten into Charlie. You’d think he’d be tired from all that snowblowing, roof raking and shoveling, but he keeps cranking out one poem after another. I guess he has more time than usual to think while he’s moving all that snow around. We’re almost through February folks. Hang in there. Construction’s Afoot Listen, you hear ’em? Right through the wall? Tat-a-tat-tat Is their tireless call Construction’s afoot Up there in the trees Woodpeckers turning them Into Swiss cheese Look at the damage Those woodpeckers do! Some of them holes, You can see through! “Tat-a-tat-tat,” They hammer away, Building their nests On a cold winter’s day That limb to the right? All …

Every house project takes at least two, three, four times longer than you think it’s going to. The box that says “all parts included” is lying. You dive into repairing that little bit of rot outside the front door and discover it’s the tip of the iceberg. And don’t even get me going on window treatments and paint chips! Experience has taught me that if Charlie’s going to be attempting one of these little chores, it’s best if I’m out of the house. So Saturday, when Charlie announced he was going to install our new bathroom blind, I skedaddled down to the Busy Bee. There I met up with Irene for a little sister time. …