What to wear? What to have for dinner? God, I’m tired of making decisions! What time do we have to leave for the potluck? What should I make for the potluck, and when do I put it in the oven so it’s still warm when it gets there, but not too hot to handle? Sometimes, I think if I have to make another decision, my head will explode! Part of being a grownup is making decisions, of course. It kind of comes with the territory. Ever wonder why kids have more energy than we do? Stuff’s decided for ‘em! I think that’s why people hide out in monasteries and ashrams (or whatever they’re called). It’s …
After a certain age, your body changes. You and I know this to be true. The fat in your butt inches it’s way ‘round your stomach. That extra plumpness that was keeping your breast perky has headed south for the duration, taking up permanent residence on your inner thighs. Your hair migrates from where you want it to someplace else, where you don’t. Then there’s the feet. Women, like me, tend to get bunions caused by shoes that are too tight, too narrow or too high. In short, they’re cute, but impractical. Hey, you have to suffer to be beautiful, right? Men get what Charlie and his friends call “old man feet.” I don’t even …
I was talking to my sister, Irene, the other day. “What do you have planned for this weekend, ‘Reeney?” “Nothing!” she replies, a big smile on her face. “Jimbo’s off snowmobiling up to Presque Isle, so I have the whole weekend to myself.” “Oh, that sounds heavenly! What’re you gonna do?” “A whole bunch of nothing, Ida. Binge watch something on Netflix, maybe. Give myself a facial and mani-pedi, if I have the energy. Catch up on my People magazines.” “You’re killing me! And on the menu?” “Haute cuisine. Popcorn and Junior Mints. That’s as far as I got.” “That’s a good start. And let me just say for the record, I am totally jealous!” …
A kitchen faucet is something that you use a lot, right? So when it’s running slow, it can be a real pain in the patootie. There you are, wanting a cup of tea, and it takes forever get enough water in the teapot. I mean, you have time to take a nap. It may be irritating to me, but poor Charlie sees that slow running faucet as his own personal failure as a husband. He’ll take this annoyance for so long, then it reaches a tipping point, and off he goes to Petey’s Plumbing with problem piece. That’s the end of the faucet that you can screw off and it has a little screen thingy …
Ah, Valentine’s Day: that’s a favorite of mine. As a cashier down to the A&P, I get to see first-hand all the nice stuff folks buy for their honeys: cards, red roses, and sweets for their sweeties. Plus, I get to wear red, which looks good on me (it’s in my color wheel). And, of course, it’s a chance for Charlie to give me a box of chocolates and for me to bake him a batch of his favorite cookies. They’re your basic oatmeal raisin, except I use Raisinettes, so you get the chocolate and raisin thing going. Try it. They’re delicious! Valentine’s Day also signals that we only have about six more weeks of …
Hard to tell what goes on in other people’s marriages, but sometimes you wonder. Can’t help it. There’s this couple from away that Charlie and me see when we’re out and about. They’ve only been in town a couple of years. We don’t know them and I haven’t been able to dig up much info. I think they pretty much keep themselves to themselves. Charlie and me have nicknamed them Fred and Ethel. About the only time we see them is when they’re out walking or riding their bikes. We’ve never once had just a Fred or just an Ethel sighting. Nope, it’s Fred and Ethel together, and Fred is always smiling. Ethel is friendly …
Sunday, Charlie and me were taking a late morning walk. It’s been hard for Cora and us to get motivated early in the morning what with the frigid temps. We all needed a little exercise and truth be told, we were hoping work off some of the bacon and Pillsbury Cinnamon Rolls we had for breakfast. So, we’re walking ‘round our neighborhood, past a little wooded lot, when Orrin Libby pops out from behind some trees. Orrin must be in his late seventies, I’m guessing, and he has the walking thing down. He takes a jaunt downtown, about three miles ‘round trip, every morning to pick up the paper. Rain, snow, hot or cold, he’s …
Ladies, you know how you can ask, then bug and, I’ll admit it, nag your husband to do something? Then all of a sudden, he does it at the least convenient time possible! Like when the hand towel rack in our guest bath had gotten kind of rickety and I put it on Charlie’s honey do list. There it stayed for, oh, six months. Then on the day I’m hosting my book group’s annual cookie swap, Charlie decides to fix it. Seriously! And of course, it’s not an easy tighten a screw solution. No siree bob, we’re talking drilling, and patching holes and maybe a little touch up paint and why move the throw rug …
We all know I love Christmas, there’s not double about that. But sometimes you can have too much of a good thing. ‘Course it would help if stores didn’t start putting out their Christmas stuff before Halloween. I say, let Tom Turkey have his day. No decorations up before Thanksgiving. That way it stays special. Still, my holiday spirit is shining bright. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for Charlie. He’s not as big on Christmas as I am to begin with. I know, that’s hard to believe. Sure, he had fun playing Santa at the Down Home Holiday Festival a couple weekends ago. But right now, he’s run outta ho, ho, ho’s. He’ll rally …
Yup, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. The Phinneys got their crèche set up across the street, and Whitey Hebert’s plugged in his tree. ‘Course, it’s easy for him because he leaves the lights up all year ‘round, and that middle strand is still out. Don’t get me started! Mahoosuc Mills is gearing up for our Down Home Holiday Festival. Used to be the Down Home Christmas Festival, but we are now politically correct. The St. Hyacinth’s Christmas Bazaar is part of the Festival. I guess we should change it to “Holiday Bazaar,” but hey, we’re Catholics. Who are we kidding? The Women Who Run With the Moose have a table down to …











