The summer holidays are here, and you know what that means, don’t you? Men down to Mikey’s Meat Market buying meat. I was in there on Saturday getting some pork chops for supper, and it was a friggin’ mad house.
Now, you don’t get this for your winter holidays. Thanksgiving, Christmas, even Easter, I go into the meat market and it’s mostly exhausted women trying to do higher math. You know, if we’ve got 14 people coming for dinner, how big’s the turkey got to be? Or if the rump roast weighs such and such, how long should I cook it and at what temperature? Man, they don’t ask questions like that on the SAT’s!
Your summer holidays (Memorial Day, Fourth of July, Labor Day), are another thing altogether. Why? Because it’s barbeque season. That’s right, these are national holidays where the men cook. One thing: meat. And don’t they make a big deal out of it!
Now, I already did a blog about men and their grills, so we don’t have to go into that again. What I’m talking about here is the phenomenon I’ll call the pre-grilling. (As opposed to après-grilling, which consists of men lounging around, watching the game and chugging down beer while the gals clean up the mess.)
No, pre-grilling is about rounding up the supplies. Women call this grocery shopping, which involves getting a wide variety of stuff, including paper products, to use at the outdoor party. Getting supplies means thinking about meat, talking about meat, going to the meat market and (you guessed it) buying meat. As luck would have it, they have beer at Mikey’s Meat Market, too, (Mikey’s no dummy), so it’s a one-stop shopping kind of thing.
Watching guys buy meat, I’m always struck by how happy they all seem.
Like, they leave their cares at the door. Once they enter Mikey’s, they’re like kids in a candy shop, or women buying shoes. Their eyes are wide and sparkly as they ogle the cases filled with Cajun sausage, smoked bacon, natural casing hot dogs. Yeehaw! They ask the guys working behind the counter questions and compare items. They debate the merits of that three inch thick sirloin versus a rack of ribs. Then, they get both! Individually wrapped packages of meat pile up in their shopping baskets. They’re in seventh heaven.
The guys want to keep the good time rolling, so, what the heck, they order a meat sandwich. No Panini’s here.
No siree Bob. How about a Rodeo Burger? Or maybe The Hangover, Pastrami Bomb, or The Mikey’s Barbarian. Not enough calories or cholesterol for ya? Why not add in a bag of chips, a Mountain Dew or a cold brewski, and a whoopie pie?
The last step in the pre-grilling process is trying to sneak all that meat into the house. Kind of like I do sometimes after an outing with the Women Who Run With the Moose. I pretend I don’t notice when Charlie tiptoes in with his bag of goodies. Just like he pretends not to notice my new outfit. Wait a minute! Maybe he’s not pretending! Anyways, I humor Charlie after one of these outings. Heck, buying meat is one of the highlights of his summer. That, and the Antique Tractor Show down to Bouchard Farm.
Happy grilling, fellas!
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
Hear Ida Tell It: Men and Meat
Live Shows: July 6-8 at 7:00pm, The Footlights Theatre in Falmouth, ME
Ida’s Independence Day-Off Zoom & Back Onto the Stage
The “funniest Woman in Maine” returns to the Footlights Theatre with an evening of laughter, insight, and a bunch of new stories.Ida will crack you up with her tales about love, friendship and the Pine Tree State of mind. Guaranteed to put you in touch with your “innah Mainah,” Ida has Moxie and she’s not afraid to drink it! Spending time with Ida is like a breath of fresh Maine air, so sit back, relax and enjoy. After all this time cooped up, you deserve it!