Now, I don’t know if you know, but in a small town, one of the most dependable sources of fun is the extended practical joke. I mean, these things can (and do) go on for years, passed down from generation to generation.
We don’t go in for the mean-spirited jokes in Mahoosuc Mills or anything where a person could get physically hurt. That sort of thing’s too easy. There’s no finesse involved. No, a good practical joke takes planning and creativity. It takes time and commitment. ’Cause you know if you pull a practical joke on someone, they’re going to do the same to you. It’s a bond that’s outlasted many a marriage, and when done well can be satisfying, and almost exhilarating.
This particular practical joke had a short turn around by Mahoosuc Mill standards. It started when there was still snow on the ground, but Charlie was patient while he planned his payback.
Bigfoot Mooned My Critter Cam
We’ve lots of woods behind the house
Full of critters, partridge, grouse
Deer and even bear and moose
All sorts of wild things running loose
‘Bout where that beaver built his dam
Is where I hung my critter cam
No matter if it’s beast or fowl
It lets me see who’s on the prow
It’s motion activated, see?
And you just hang it from a tree
Thing shoots pictures on the sly
Of any critter goin’ by
I bought the gismo just for fun
My hunting buddies all got one
Deer have passed my camera’s eye
And once or twice a bear’s been by
But just imagine my surprise
I could not believe my eyes
When Bigfoot stepped into the frame
Trudging through the snow he came
All hunched over, lookin’ scary
Naked, but not all that hairy
‘Cept his head, the only place
Where long black hair did hide his face
In his hand, clearly shown,
He’s carrying this big ol’ bone
But even though he looked malicious
I became a bit suspicious
Is this anyone we know?
I asked my wife, and she thought so:
“Jelly belly? Butt that big?
Looks like Junior with a wig”
Junior? Nah, he ain’t that fat!
He’d never do a thing like that!
“On his own? You’re prob’ly right
But with some urging, he just might”
. . .
I walked past Junior’s truck, by chance
And couldn’t help but take a glance
Ah ha! Thought I, the truth be known!
For there inside I found the bone
The very same he held in hand
When “Bigfoot” mooned my critter cam
I’ll ask my wife, sharp as a tack,
What she would do to get him back
“Well,” she says, “let’s think this through.
Is that some prank that you would do?
Pose like Bigfoot in the raw?
Junior must’ve drawn the straw
“For standing out there, naked so,
And walking barefoot in the snow
He deserves some sort of prize
Let’s see, what can we devise?”
. . .
I called a meeting of the boys
To plan some fishing, make some noise
As meetings go, I conclude
Ours began a bit subdued
“Before this thing gets underway,
I’ve just one thing I’d like to say
There’s deer about, above the dam
I’ve seen them on my critter cam”
Everyone got quiet, then
So I started up again
“Tell you what I’ve also seen
Out there, lookin’ big and mean
Bigfoot! Check this shot we printed.”
(They all passed it ’round and squinted)
“I thought, perhaps, I’d seen that gut
And Ida, she ID’ed the butt!”
Oh, when he heard what I said
Did Junior’s face turn ruby red!
“Then, oh boy, was I in luck
When I found this is Junior’s truck!”
I held the bone for all to see
Then Junior took it back from me
Isn’t payback always sweet?
Still, my work was not complete
“Junior, you deserve a prize
I hope this t-shirt is your size
In front of all your partners here
I dub thee ‘Bigfoot of the Year’!”
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
Hear Ida Tell It: Bigfoot Mooned My Critter Cam