I’ve heard that rich people find it kind of tacky to talk about money. But for the rest of us, well, we gotta. I’m not saying you need to be hashing it over morning, noon and night, but you and your spouse do need to be on the same page in this department. Otherwise, it can be the one thing that does you in.
I learned this the hard way when Charlie and me first got married. Neither of us were making much money. I was working down to the A&P, of course, and Charlie was at the mill. He’s a foreman there now, but he started out at the bottom doing odd jobs. We had a cute little apartment in town. Our parents helped us out, giving us furniture that they didn’t want anymore (my Aunt Alma’s old melmac dishes) and day to day, we made ends meet. I kept my eyes peeled for deals at the A&P. We paid our bills, and had a little left over at the end of the week for a date night. Nothing too extravagant, you understand: maybe a couple of beers and a burger, a bean supper down to the Congo Church or an ice cream sundae. We didn’t have much money, so there wasn’t much to talk about, right?
Well, there was a big do coming up in town. Mahoosuc Mills was celebrating it’s 150 year anniversary. There was a bunch of stuff going on that summer, but the main event was the Anniversary Ball. It was going to be held at the brand new Sky Lodge at the Moose Megantic Overlook, and serve as their grand opening, to boot. They even had a big band coming up from Portland for the affair. It was going to be a night to remember! The whole town was all jacked up about it, and us girls were beside ourselves planning what we were going to wear.
It was a once in a lifetime occasion, right? So Celeste, Rita, Betty, Dot, Shirley and me decided that we needed to go shopping for new dresses some place special: Ward Brothers in Lewiston. That was the swankiest shop around. They had the latest fashions and wonderful sales people who waited on you and everything.
Well, long story short, I fell in love with this dress: crimson red strapless, with sequins on the fitted bodice, a nice full skirt and a little bolero jacket. Oh, my God, was it ever gorgeous, and it fit me like a glove! The price tag, however….ug! To be honest, it cost more than twice what I’d budgeted. But the girls were egging me on, saying how beautiful I looked in it, and the sales woman had been so nice. I did the deed.
As I was writing the check, though, I start to feel kind of queasy. There were no returns on dresses like this, only store credit. It was alot of money to spend on a dress. But oh, what a dress!
Then I had to ‘fess up to Charlie. That was hard because once the girls and me left the store, the glow of my new dress began to fade. I give Charlie credit, though; he didn’t get mad at me, though it’d probably been easier if he had. He agreed it was a beautiful dress, and could see how important it was to me. Now we just had to figure out how we were going to make ends meet for the rest of the month. That was sobering! It was a long couple of weeks of eating macaroni and cheese, spam, canned soup and saltines. I think we may have invited ourselves once or twice for dinner at our parents house. Somehow, we squeaked by.
In the end, it was worth it. Charlie and me had a great time at the Anniversary Ball, and I felt like a princess in that dress. More importantly, though, I learned a valuable lesson, and one that was good to learn early in our married life. In a marriage, financial decisions you make effect both of you. If I’d discussed that dress with Charlie before hand, and we’d both decided it was worth it, I wouldn’t have felt so bad about dishing up Rice Krispies to him for supper.
That’s why, ever since that day, Charlie and me have a couple of rules regarding big purchases. First, we discuss them, all the pros and cons. Second, we sleep on it and make sure we still feel good about our decision the next day. Sure, it takes impulsive buying out of the equation, but we’re not talking about a pack Jujubees, here. From our point of view, talking about money is not tacky. It’s essential, whether you’re doing pretty good or just scraping by. Especially if you’re just scraping by.
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
Hear Ida Tell It: Money Talk