You know how we tend to confide in our hairdresser or bartender? As a cashier down to the A&P, folks tend to confide in me, too, even if they don’t always know they’re doing it. Because checking out a person’s groceries is more intimate than you image. You know who’s drinking a little too much, who has a Doritos habit and who’s addicted to the National Inquirer. You see the same folks once a week, minimum, and you can kind of sense whether they’re feeling their oats or not.
So I’m working register 3 per usual, cashing out Roberta “Bobbie” Robbins, making conversation, like you do. “How’s that cute little dog of yours? Blah, blah. And the kids? Your youngest getting ready for college? I can’t believe it. Blah, blah. And your wonderful husband? How’s Chuck doing?”
“Good,” Bobbie replies, “I guess.” That didn’t sound do good to me. “He’s travelin’ so much with his job, it’s like we’re two ships passing in the night.”
Hmmm.
Time passes, and Bobbie and Chuck’s youngest is off to college. Bobbie’s buying fewer groceries, as you’d expect. Then, one day, I see Chuck in the store, picking up a few things. That kind of brought me up short. He never comes into the A&P. Too busy. He went through the express lane, so I couldn’t chat him up. But the next time I see Bobbie, I mention it. “Chuck was in last week. Didn’t get a chance to say hi. How’s he doing?”
Bobbie looks out at the parking lot. “I wouldn’t know, Ida,” she sighs. “We, uh, separated a few weeks ago.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that, Bobbie. How you holding up, dear?”
“As good as can be expected, I guess. It wasn’t any big dramatic thing, Ida. What with the kids and Chuck’s job, we just kind of drifted apart, I guess.”
Hard to know what to say to that. “Oh, Bobbie, my heart goes out to you.” That’s all I could come up with.
Maybe six or seven months pass. I see Chuck and Bobbie down to the A&P, shopping separately. Neither of ‘em looked too happy, but Bobbie at least, seemed to be making an effort.
“Bobbie, don’t you look nice. I love that shade of lipstick on you.”
“Thanks, Ida. I got talked into going to one of them speed dating things in Bangor tonight, if you can believe it.”
“Good for you! You’ll have to tell me how you make out, next time I see you.”
“Geez, I’m wicked nervous, but what do I have to lose? Wish me luck.”
“Nah, you don’t need it. You look fabulous!”
The next time I see her, Bobbie’s a little less perky. “How was the speed dating?” I ask.
“Grueling! The only thing it had going for it was that you didn’t have to spend alot of time with each guy. What an odd assortment of geezers, geeks and God, what was he thinking, wearing that tie? Let me tell you, dating is not for the faint of heart! Wasn’t a total loss, though. I had a drink with a couple of the other gals after, and we really hit it off. Going to a dance together next week.” Bobbie sighs, “I’m beginning to wish I was a lesbian.”
“Listen, Bobbie, my niece Caitlin has some lesbian friends, and from what she tells me, that’s no picnic, either.”
“Grass is always greener.”
More time passes, and one day I see Bobbie and Chuck in the A&P together, giggling in the wine aisle. Well, knock me over with a feather! I’m too busy to do more than wave as Chuck and Bobbie stroll out arm in arm, all a twitter.
But the next time Bobbie’s into the A&P she comes to my register to cash out, looking happy as pie.
“Bobbie,” I say, “I don’t have to ask how you’re doing. I can see it on your face.”
“Yup, Ida, Chuck and me are back together.”
“Well, I saw the two you two last week, lookin’ like a couple of love birds.”
“It’s like we’re teenagers again, Ida.”
“What happened, if you don’t mind my asking?”
“Not at all. Well, we started out talking on the phone. You know, coordinating things for when the kids come home. Then, sometimes, Chuck would call, and we’d just talk on and on about nothing in particular. We’d meet down to the Busy Bee every now and then for breakfast. And hey, I’m going to Bangor to see a movie, you want to come? Before we knew it, it’s like we were dating again. And it was good. Heck, it was great. We started really talking to each other like we hadn’t in years. Sometimes, he’d sleep over.”
“Lucky you!”
“I know! So one thing led to another, and we agreed that at our age, sure, we could potentially meet someone else and still have a good twenty, twenty-five years with ‘em. But that would be a gamble. We might not find the right person. But if we put some of that same time, energy and money into our relationship, we might end up with something really wonderful. It was great once. Why not again?”
“Plus, you have the kids, and all that shared history.”
“Right. The kids are over the moon about it.”
“I’ll bet!”
“Chuck’s still away alot on business, but we’re working on that. I’m going with him every now and then. And he’s trying to hammer out a deal where he can step down to about half as many trips. The big difference is, when he’s home, he’s home. He’s not in the den catching up on work or doing deals into the night. And we talk and text alot when he’s away. It’s not perfect, but it’s so much better than it was.”
“Sounds great.”
“Plus, now that the kids are gone, I’m getting more used to having the house to myself. When me and Chuck were separated, I signed up for an art class down to the Community Center, and I’m still doing that. I realized I used to love painting and doing artsy stuff. I’d totally lost track of it.”
“Good for you, Bobbie! You’re an inspiration!”
Bobbie puts her hand on mine. “Thanks, Ida, for your support. The whole separation thing was hard, wicked hard. But if that’s what it took to get to us where we are now, it was worth every minute!”
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
Hear Ida Tell It: Fish or Cut Bait
Upcoming Shows
July 16, 23, 30, Makin’ Whoopie!, 7:00, The Footlights Theatre, Falmouth, ME
Only three more shows. In need of a laugh? Join me any Tuesday night in July.