Gotta say, I love my job. Not only is working as a cashier down to the A&P not stop entertainment, it keeps me in touch with all the goings on in Mahoosuc Mills, day in, and day out. I know who’s doing Weight Watchers, who’s drinking too much Bud Light, who’s reading National Enquirer.
In my opinion, how people act in a grocery store, is a good indication of how they live their life. For example, let’s say we got a pyramid of navel oranges over in produce and somebody takes one from the middle, and that whole pile of oranges starts to spill on the floor. Does that person walk away, pretending they had nothing to do with the spill? Do they report it and let someone else deal with it? Or do they try to put it to rights? Does the bystander seeing this whole thing happening move on by, not wanting to get involved? Or does that bystander give the culprit a dirty look and report them? Or do they lend a hand.
Now, they say “the eyes are the window of the soul.” But from a cashier’s point of view, there’s no better place to size up someone’s personality than the express lane.
To most people, “Fourteen items or less” means just that. But some folks read “Fourteen items or less” as “Fourteen kinds of items.” We’ve all been behind these guys. In their heads, twelve Light N Lively yogurts is one item. So you got your twelve yogurts, two half gallons of milk, six lean cuisine frozen dinners, four cans of cat food, three liter bottles of diet root beer and nine other items which, in their mind, somehow adds up to fourteen. Nuh-uh.
In my opinion, if the IRS wants to know who’s probably cheating on their taxes, all they have to do hang around the express lane. ‘Nuff said.
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
The Express Lane of Life
Upcoming Shows
March 28: Once We Were Four, New Hampshire Theatre Project, 4:00pm, Portsmouth, NH*
April 26: Down to the A&P, The Dance Hall, 2:00pm, Kittery, ME
*performed as Susan