The longer I’m married, the more I realize sometimes Charlie and me just have a completely different way of looking at things. Not the big things, of course. We’re on the same page there. But, you know, it’s those little things he does over and over again that can just irritate the crap of of me. And vice versa.
Charlie was inspired to write a little diddy about one such thing.
Half-a-Banana Man
First thing this morning, I reach in the bowl
Grabbed the one banana, I can’t eat it whole, so
I took about half, put the other half back
Boy, did I ever get flack!
I like to start my day before I go to the shop
With a big bowl of Cheerios, banana on top
A mug o’ my favorite, Maxwell House
That’s “good to the very last drop”
I’m a creature of habit, you understand,
I’m half-a-banana man, that’s right
Half-a-banana man
Now, my wife Ida, on the other han-na, likes
Peanut butter, toast and one big banana, when she
Walked into the kitchen this morning, oop!
I guess I threw her for a loop
She said, “What’s this, Charley? How can it be?
Half a banana is all you left me!
Half a banana isn’t enough, and
I don’t want Marshmallow Fluff!”
I’m a creature of habit, you understand
I’m half-a-banana man
She says, “Back in the bowl, the other half turns brown
Then we get the fruit flies buzzing around”
How’d she get her knickers so in a twist? Well,
It all began-a with half a banana, now
I could have oatmeal, that would be fine
Or make myself a pancake if I had the time, but
I don’t, why do you laugh?
I’m sorry, but at least you got half (a banana)
I’m a creature of habit, you understand,
I’m half-a-banana man, that’s me
Half-a-banana man
And that, folks, is marriage in a nutshell!
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
Hear Ida Tell It: Half a Banana Man
Coming Up This Week
December 3 & 4: A Very Ida Christmas, The Footlights Theatre, http://www.thefootlightsinfalmouth.com/ 2:00pm, Falmouth, ME
Upcoming Book Events and Performances
December 10: Book Signing, Kittery Trading Post, 11:00am to 2:00pm, https://www.kitterytradingpost.com/ Kittery, ME
December 13: A Holiday Visit with Ida, Hosted by the Kittery Historical and Naval Museum at the Kittery Lion’s Club, 117 State Road, http://www.kitterymuseum.com/ 7:00pm, Kittery, ME