Candy Corn is not a vegetable. I know. It doesn’t seem fair. If it was, let me tell you, Doctor Oz would be very proud of me right now because I’ve been managing to squeeze in at least five servings of candy corn per day. And that’s before lunch.
The thing is, I don’t even like candy corn that much. I mean, what is it really? Well, I looked it up, and candy corn is made up of sugar, water, corn syrup and marshmallow, so it’s just packed with nutrients. Get this: a “serving size” is supposed to be 19 pieces. Seriously? We have a bottomless bowl of candy corn in our break room at work and every time I go by it, I take a handful. Sure, after awhile I get kind of nauseous, but that doesn’t seem to stop me. I hang tough ‘cause it’s October. It’s sort of my duty to eat candy corn. And I’m not the only one. Candy companies make about thirty-five million pounds of candy corn a year. Yikes! That gives me a sugar headache just thinking about it.
Why do I eat candy corn if I don’t really love it? I suppose it reminds me of being a kid. Of biting off and chewing one color at a time from each kernel. Of being so excited about getting dressed up and going trick-or-treating. So there’s that. Plus, they’re fat free, so that’s good right? Better than those tiny temptations: the mini candy bar. Honey, those are like crack cocaine!
While I was tooling around the internet, I come across an article called, “Halloween Health: the Best and Worst Trick-or-Treat Candy” on the LiveScience website. First off, they tell you not to eat candy. It’s wicked bad for you, blah blah.
But if you’re going to do it, here are the top five picks:
- Jolly Ranchers: These hardly qualify as candy, folks. They’re something free they have at the bank. They’re no more than a palette cleanser.
- Blow Pops: Maybe if it was a Tootsie Pop, I’d consider one.
- Gobstoppers: I don’t even know what that is.
- Pixy Stix: Haven’t had one of those since I was a kid. God, I used to love ‘em.
- Candy Corn: Okay then. In the top five.
Wondering what the five worst picks are? Well, I am here to serve.
- Mr. Goodbar: Love those!
- NutRageous: Another winner.
- Snickers Bar: The perfect meal.
- Baby Ruth: A home run.
- Mounds: ‘Cause sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don’t.
Aright, then. My mouth is watering! Only a week to go. Okay, plus the clearance sales after. I might just have to break my candy corn habit and go over to the dark side. The good news is, those mini candy bars are small, but packed with protein, right?
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
Hear Ida Tell It: Candy Corn is not a Vegetable
Coming Up This Week
October 25: Book Reading: The Sweet Life, Bailey Public Library, http://www.baileylibrary.org/ 6:30pm, Winthrop, ME
Upcoming Book Events and Performances
December 3 & 4: A Very Ida Christmas, The Footlights Theatre, http://www.thefootlightsinfalmouth.com/ 2:00pm, Falmouth, ME
December 13: A Holiday Visit with Ida, Kittery Historical and Naval Museum, http://www.kitterymuseum.com/ 7:00pm, Kittery, ME