A couple of weeks ago, I gave you some general tips on how to have a successful yard sale. Now that you’re up to snuff on the basics, let’s move on to something I didn’t cover in that blog, which happens to be the number one yard sale rule: once an item leaves the house, it doesn’t come back inside.
Honoring the number one rule is easy if you remember the golden rule of yard sales: if it has any sentimental value, I don’t care if it’s a bottle cap, keep it. If you remember that golden rule, the rest is easy. You’ll be ready to part with everything in your yard sale.
That means at the end of the day, whatever hasn’t sold gets sorted into two piles: dump and Goodwill. It’s just common sense. After making all that effort to get rid of stuff, why the hell would you haul it back inside to collect dust for another ten years? See, this is why your yard sale only goes until 3:00 p.m. That gives you time to sort through the stuff that didn’t sell, drop some of it at Goodwill, and then haul the rest to the dump, leaving you time to go out to dinner.
Besides, you know your stuff will be appreciated by the folks at Goodwill and by Whitey Hebert down at the dump. I’m sure you’ve got someone like him in your town, too. Just about every weekend, spring through fall, Whitey and his son, Little Whitey (who’s over 6 feet tall, and probably weighs 250 lbs.) are pretty much camped out at the Swap Shop, waiting to score all the stuff that people didn’t sell at their yard sales.
Whitey Hebert, now there’s a piece of work. You’ll never see him at a yard sale. For a fella like Whitey, buying stuff is out of the question. That would be failing at his life’s mission, which is getting stuff for free. No, Whitey backs his truck right up to the Swap Shop at the dump and just stands in the doorway. When he sees you driving up, he’s like, “Come to Papa.” Your boxes of junk never even hit the ground. They go directly from your truck to his. All of it, he’s not picky. And Whitey never breaks a sweat. If there’s any heavy lifting to do, Little Whitey does all the work. His father just stands there chewing tobacco and supervising.
Now what does Whitey Hebert do with all that crap from the Swap Shop? Well, I’ll tell you. He brings it home, puts it under one of them blue tarps and your stuff merges into what’s got to be one of the moldiest yard sales in Maine. Whitey’s wife, June, runs that part of the operation. Poor dear. You’ve probably seen her sitting in her lawn chair, house dress, hair in curlers, smoking a butt. Charlie calls her “Our Lady of the Perpetual Yard Sale.”
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flipside!
IDA’s PODCAST: Number One Yard Sale Rule
Upcoming Shows & Book Events: Spring/Summer
May 19 Book Club Visit, 10:00 a.m., Portsmouth, NH
July 8, Reading, Belgrade Public Library, 6:00 p.m., Belgrade, ME
July 14 Reading, Freeport Community Library, 7:00 p.m., Freeport, ME
August 9 A Visit With Ida, Storytelling by the Sea, 7:15 p.m., Castine, ME
August 14 Ida’s Havin’ a Yard Sale, ACT ONE Festival 2014, 8:00 p.m., Portsmouth, NH
August 15 Ida’s Havin’ a Yard Sale, ACT ONE Festival 2014, 2:00 p.m., Portsmouth, NH
August 19 Reading, Southwest Harbor Public Library, 5:30 p.m., Southwest Harbor, ME
September 4 Ida’s Havin’ a Yard Sale, ACT ONE Festival 2014, 8:00 p.m. Portsmouth, NH
September 5 Ida’s Havin’ a Yard Sale, ACT ONE Festival 2014, 2:00 p.m. Portsmouth, NH