Last weekend, Charlie and me were out walkin’ Scamp ‘round the neighborhood. The weather’s been nice, you know, and we’re tryin’ to take advantage of it as much as we can. Plus, this summer is already shapin’ up to be one eating opportunity after another, so we need to burn calories where we can.
When you walk the same route like we do, you get to see the changes as they happen, which is fun. When the rhodies start to bloom, it’s an event, or when them stella d’oro daylilies burst yellow overnight. You head off early enough, and you see your neighbors sneakin’ out in their pj’s to get the paper or you smell coffee and, if you’re lucky, bacon waftin’ through the chill mornin’ air.
Next door to us lives Gus, Gus Little. Kind of a crotchety old fart, but he’s OK. Got one arms that works, one that doesn’t. You wouldn’t believe the things he can do with that one good arm, though. Has a golf cart he drives ‘round his “estate,” which consists of his little house and four trailers (wouldn’t really call ‘em mobile homes, if you know what I’m sayin’) that he rents out. Never see his wife. Guess she’s not doin’ too well.
Anyways, it’s early. Sun hasn’t burned the mornin’ mist away, yet. Me and Charlie and Scamp are walkin’ along when Gus drives by in his car. We wave. After, Charlie goes, “Geesh, we probably shouldn’t have waved to him. ‘Cause then he feels obligated to wave back. He only has that one good arm. We could be contributin’ to a traffic hazard.”
And I start laughing. Charlie wasn’t tryin’ to be funny, but it was a funny thing to say, you know? Then Charlie joins in and we chuckle on and off for the rest of the walk. God, we have some laughs!
Charlie goes, “Think I’ll do somethin’ with that.” Don’t take much these days to inspire my husband. Here’s what he come up with.
Don’t Wave to Gus While He’s Drivin’
Ida and me were walkin’ the dog
When Gus, our neighbor, drove out of the fog
Just bein’ nice, we didn’t think twice
We waved even though he was drivin’
See, the fella has only got one good arm
You may think, well, what is the harm
In wavin’ hello, you’re both on the go?
But don’t wave to Gus while he’s drivin’
He can rake with one arm, hang up the clothes
Shovel the walk, and God only knows
What else he can do, but ‘tween me and you
Don’t wave to Gus while he’s drivin’
He tol’ me once, it was one of those quirks
An accident down to Bath Iron Works
One arm’s fine, the other ain’t worth a dime
So don’t wave to him while he’s drivin’
Take it from me, you would not want to try
To sit down somewhere and arm wrestle the guy
I seen him lift rocks, he’s strong as an ox
But don’t wave to Gus while he’s drivin’
Wavin’ hello could’ve caused so much damage
His car kind of swerved, but somehow he managed
To wave back at us, leave it to Gus!
We’ll just nod from now on while he’s drivin’
How about that?
So later on our walk, we’re passin’ Chicky MacPherson’s place when Chicky drives up, his bull dog, Bella, on his lap. It’s funny when they pass, they both stare at you, heads turnin’ in unison. You gotta see it to believe it! Them two look almost like twins.
Now, instead of a collar, Scamp wears a little harness. Not indoors, of course, ‘cause that would interfere with a good belly rub. I bought the harness ‘cause it’s easier on his neck than a collar.
So, Chicky pulls into his driveway, opens the door to get outta his truck. All of a sudden, Bella hops off Chicky’s lap and bolts full bore toward Scamp. Charlie didn’t have time to pick Scamp up, so he just starts swingin’ him, ‘round and ‘round in a circle. There’s Scamp with his little harness on, eyes big as saucers, flyin’ about four feet off the ground, just out of Bella’s nippin’ range, Finally Chicky waddles over, give Bella a nudge in the rear, and the two of ‘em head back to the house.
“Didn’t know your dog could fly,” he mutters.
“Just got his license,” quips Charlie, still a little dizzy from all that twirlin’.
Boy, oh, boy! There’s never a dull moment here in Mahoosuc Mills.
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
IDA’S PODCAST: A Walk ‘Round the Neighborhood
Coming Up This Summer
July 14: The View From He’ah with guest Roger Goldenberg, PPMtv, 7:00pm, Portsmouth, NH
July 16: The Best of Ida, Deertrees Theatre, 7:30pm, Harrison, ME
August 13 & 14: The View From He’ah Variety Show, ACT ONE Summer Festival, Thursday at 2:00pm and Friday at 2:00pm & 8:00pm, Portsmouth, NH
August 15: Finding Your Inner Moose Book Reading, Newport Cultural Center, 11:00am, Newport, ME