Maine has been slowly opening back up, with some folks cautiously returning to work and doing the “physically distancing socializing” routine. That’s a mouthful, for sure, so we just say “Maine Rules” for short. For example, “Party on my deck, Maine Rules.” That means we’ll be staying six feet apart which is easy for a Mainer. “BYOS” meaning bring your own stuff. We’ll provide the PP and SW (paper products and sanitizer wipes). See? Much simpler.
Then there are some idiots who insist on partying like it’s 2019. The “19’ers,” me and my friends call ‘em. “19” referring not to the year or the virus, but to their approximate IQ. I’d like to say what they do in the privacy of their own homes is their business, but as a cashier down to the A&P, I come into contact with these yahoos everyday, so it’s kinda my business, too. Right?
Me and the other cashiers have been working on the front lines of this Covid thing since it started, and the A&P’s treated us real good, putting up Plexiglas barriers and providing masks, gloves, and plenty of disinfecting stuff. They also close the store on Sunday for an overall disinfecting. They’ve added employee-only shopping hours, and even given us a pay raise for the duration, for all the extra work it takes to keep the place safe. My manager Chip’s been really on the ball with this one. Kudos to you, Chip! In my opinion, all businesses should do the same.
There are big signs on the doors of the A&P that say, “No mask, no service.” But 
apparently some of the 19’er’s don’t think that applies to them. Is it that they don’t understand that wearing a mask is to protect other people? Or is it that they just don’t care? This isn’t about politics, people. It’s about public safety and common courtesy.
Anyhoo, months ago when this all started, some people were slow to buy into the mask thing. It was taking all of Chip’s energy to manage the situation. And some of our patrons got their dander up when “confronted.” Chip was between a rock and a hard place. Then Connor stepped in.
He’s the son of Diane, one of my fellow cashiers. I remember when he was a baby: so cute! Now he’s over six feet tall and 225 pounds of solid muscle. He’s going to the University of Maine, playing hockey for ‘em. During the summer and on school vacations, Connor works down to the Brew Ha-Ha as a bouncer. He doesn’t have to do much except pretend to look mean and nobody messes with him. Like a lot of students, Connor came home for spring break, and then the school closed for the rest of the term. ‘Course the Brew Ha-Ha wasn’t open either, so Connor had time on his hands.
When he got wind about folks not wearing masks down to the A&P, he decided on his own to do something about it. See, he wanted to protect his mother, who was in there as much as me working the check out. So he organized a few hockey teammates who live around these parts to act as bouncers down to the A&P. Gosh, are they ever something! Chip even had t-shirts made for ‘em so they’d look official. “A&P Security,” it says on the front with their names on the back in big letters.
Now on any given day when we go to work, we’re greeted by Connor, Josh, Brandon, or Tyler. They look so big and menacing with their masks on, but really they’re sweet as teddy bears. Those boys are keepers, for sure.
All of ‘em are back to work now, landscaping, working in the lumber yard, and on the deck at the Brew Ha-Ha, but one of the boys is still down to the A&P during high traffic hours. Gotta say, those big, strapping guys get what you’d call “100% compliance,” with our masks policy. And us cashiers feel safer knowing our bouncers are looking out for us. Thanks, Chip! Thanks, boys!
That’s it for now. Stay safe and catch you on the flip side!
Hear Ida Tell It: Bouncers Down to the A&P
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