The other day, I had the misfortune of seeing some photos taken at our New Years day brunch at Celeste and Bud’s. Rita got a new digital camera for Christmas, and while I’m happy for her, it was like spendin’ the day with the paparazzi!
The posed shots are OK ‘cause you have time to assemble your parts and put ‘em where you want ‘em. You wedge yourself between a couple of friends and turn sideways. That makes you look thinner. Then you suck in your gut and do the Princess Diana bit. You know, tilt your head down a little and look up. This kind of camouflages whatever double chin action you got goin’. And you smile, of course, which lifts up the corners of your eyes and your whole face, really. Those shots pass muster.
But candids, whoa Nellie! Those are another thing altogether: eyes half closed in mid-sentence. Or a profile shot of me in all my post-holiday, un-spankied glory, turkey neck and all. There was one photo where, I swear to God, I looked like Jabba the Hut. I kid you not! Granted, the couch I was sittin’ on was very low and needed to be restuffed, so I was kind of scrunched down, but still. It’s just so discouraging!
See, I have an image of myself in my head that is definitely cuter and about ten or even twenty years younger than I am in those photos. I’m not conceited or nothing, and I hope I’m not alone on this, but most of the time, even when I look in the mirror, I don’t really see me. My mind kind of fills in the lines, if you know what I mean, air-brushes my reflection. Softens it. I don’t feel my age, so I don’t really see my age. Which is a good thing, ‘cause if I started feeling like I looked in Rita’s snapshots, it would be hard to get out of bed in the morning.
The weird thing is, everyone else in those pictures look just like they do in real life. What’s up with that? It’s only me that looks older.
So Saturday night, Charlie and me were down to the Brew Ha Ha. It was “Hee Haw” night, and they were playing reruns that old tv show on the big, flat screen TV over the bar. Everyone was country line dancing. Oh, it was a lot fun! I wore my powder blue Western shirt and a blue bandana with sunflowers on it ‘round my neck.
So, I’m in the Ladies, powderin’ my nose and fluffin’ up my hair, thinkin’ Gee, I’m lookin’ pretty cute tonight. So much better than in them pictures of Rita’s. I’m feeling pretty perky as I turn to leave, a little bounce in my step. When, my right knee goes out. That’s the one that’s been botherin’ me lately. I didn’t fall down or nothing. It just kind of seized up. Darn! It’s God givin’ me the old reality check again, and all I can do is chuckle as I kind of hobble my gimpy way back to our table.
The number one key to agin’ gracefully? Have a sense of humor, of course. You gotta laugh or you’ll cry!
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
IDA’s PODCAST: Candid Camera
I love entertaining groups, small and large! The following are wicked fun for after lunch, after dinner, rewards banquets, keynote speeches and what not.
The Moose in Me, The Moose in You!
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And if your book group wants to read Finding Your Inner Moose, I’d love to be part of the discussion. Especially if there’s food involved!