November is National Family Caregivers Month, but for a lot of us, caregiving is a year round sort of thing. Caregivers are everywhere. There are paid caregivers, of course: nurses, social workers, childcare workers, the folks that work down to the senior center, to name a few.
Family caregivers, however, are for the most part, unpaid: friends or family members who selflessly give of their time and energy to take care of people who need it. It’s your friend with small children, a sick husband or aging parents. Maybe you know someone who’s helping out a friend or even an acquaintance with a cancer diagnosis or Parkinson’s who doesn’t have any family to help. Heck, it could be you stepping up because that’s what we do. Make no mistake, family caregivers sacrifice not only their time, but financially and health wise, too. They’re so busy doing what they’re doing that they hardly have time to advocate for themselves.
The last year of my mom’s life, it took both my sister Irene and me working overtime to keep things running smoothly at our parent’s house. I’m sure most of you have gone through it by now, running to this or that doctors appointment, the pharmacy, navigating the wonderful world of our health care system, cleaning our parent’s house, cooking and making sure our dad was hanging in there because, of course, it was wicked tough for him, too.
Years later, it was a different thing with Dad. That was about convincing him it was time to sell the house and move into Mahoosuc Green, selling the house, then eventually, his car. Experiencing the slow decline of dementia. Going from independent living, to assisted living to skilled nursing. Even though we had less responsibility for the day to day stuff, Irene and me were in and out of Mahoosuc Green visiting Dad, fielding phone calls at all hours about the people who lived under his bed and the tax man coming to take him away. None of it was real, but it was real enough for Dad.
Let’s face it: caretaking of this sort is basically a part-time job. Throw in all the worrying, and there’s not much of you left for anything else.
Who are the caregivers in your life? Let ‘em know you appreciate what they’re going through. Do something nice for them; don’t wait until Christmas. These folks are at it all year ‘round. Give them a pat on the back or a gift certificate for a massage or something. That includes you, too, if you’re a caregiver. But let’s get real: if you’re a middle-aged or senior woman, you’re probably taking care of someone, as well as trying to balance everything else in your life.
Thank you, all you caregivers out there. I salute you! You saw a need, and you filled it. That’s a powerful example for all of us!
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
Hear Ida Tell It: Caring for the Caregivers