Yes, you read that right. I’m referring to Patsy down to Hair Affair. Was I ever singing hosannas the day she finally opened back up, let me tell you! Getting my hair cut and styled made me feel like myself again.
Let’s just say, for me anyways, Patsy had some damage control to do. See, I’d attempted cutting my own hair while watching a tutorial on YouTube, but it wasn’t near as easy as the gal made it out to be. Or maybe I was just distracted by her lips. It looked like she’d been stung by a bee, but I think it was the kind of thing she paid money for. Yikes!
I’d touched up my roots with an emergency color kit dropped off by Patsy. She mixed it 
in the salon, then hightailed it to my house and left it on my deck with instructions. How’d it turn out? Well, I’m not going to quit my day job and become a hairdresser, that’s for sure. What a relief to get back in the chair and let a professional take over!
Charlie, though, was still outta luck. Sam, who owns Yankee Clippers, he’s an older gentleman, and I don’t know if he’s ever going to reopen. He might just consider this a sign from the God’s and call it quits. Charlie was looking pretty shaggy. It was driving us both of us crazy, so I suggested he go to Patsy. Now, Charlie is not what you’d call a metrosexual, so he had to wrap his head around my idea. But Patsy and me come up with the game plan.
Here, I’ll let Charlie tell you about it.
Back Door Man
“You need a haircut!” Ida keeps sayin’
I know, us fellas have all been delayin’.
For fear of a flu that could really deflate us
Our barber has chosen to go on hiatus!
Without Yankee Clippers, don’t know what to do
In this little town, my options are few
Do I ask Ida? No, I decided
The cut she gave Scamp made him look lopsided
And Margery’s closed, Margery Howe
The one who cuts dogs at Salon de Bow-Wow
“You weren’t gonna call her, Charlie, were you?
‘Cause listen, I just figured out what to do”
“I booked you a haircut.” You did? Tell me where
“I booked it with Patsy, who runs Hair Affair.
She says she is willing to give it a whack,
Just show up at seven, and go around back”
So I went to Patsy, in secret, I’d say
I parked on a street about two blocks away
I pulled my cap low, you know what I mean?
And walked along hoping I wouldn’t be seen
‘Cause one thing the guys shouldn’t stumble upon
Is that I got my cut at a lady’s salon
I wasn’t too sure of the door in her plan
‘Til she hollered, “Hey, here is my back door man!”
Patsy, I says, let’s keep it down
Don’t want this becoming the talk of the town
“Charlie,” she says, “My lips are sealed
Where you got your haircut will not be revealed”
“It looks,” she continued,” like you need a trim
Up over the ears is where I’ll begin”
Good! I said, and with that she went flyin’
Through all of that tangle, it must have been tryin’!
But in ten minutes flat, fifteen at most
My rat’s nest of hair, it gave up the ghost
Got up from my seat, and left the place smiling
I paid her for mine and for Ida’s next styling
Back at the ranch, was Ida surprised!
While Patsy done good, what do I tell the guys?
“Tell them I did it, pretend that it’s true.
It’s yet one more thing that I know how to do!”
That’s it for now. Stay safe, and catch you on the flip side!
Hear Ida Tell It: Charlie Is Sneaking Around With Patsy