Ladies, you know how you can ask, then bug and, I’ll admit it, nag your husband to do something? Then all of a sudden, he does it at the least convenient time possible! Like when the hand towel rack in our guest bath had gotten kind of rickety and I put it on Charlie’s honey do list. There it stayed for, oh, six months. Then on the day I’m hosting my book group’s annual cookie swap, Charlie decides to fix it. Seriously! And of course, it’s not an easy tighten a screw solution. No siree bob, we’re talking drilling, and patching holes and maybe a little touch up paint and why move the throw rug outta the way. It’s such a soft place to rest your knees and catch that spackle and saw dust.
The thing is, you really can’t complain too much ‘cause your husband’ll just say, “Hey, I’m just trying to make the house look good for company.”
Anyhoo, I felt for Kay Bonneville, who lives a few doors down from us, when a couple weeks ago, I saw all this scrap wood and other odds and ends (to put it nice) suddenly appear on their front lawn with “Free” written on a piece of cardboard. Everybody else is out decoratin’ their yards, but I guess Ray finally decided to clean the basement. Perfect time to do it, too, right before Christmas when you want things to look good for company.
It all worked out though. Ray ended up spreading some Christmas cheer. And Kay’s hoping he’ll turn that clean basement into a man cave, and get out from under foot. I’ll let the poet laureate of Mahoosuc Mills tell you about it.
Bonneville Cleaned His Basement
I was stringin’ up lights when I heard the commotion
A banging of lumber and PVC piping
Bonneville’s got him a project, alright
And I don’t think that it involves typing!
Look at him, he’s got that old tractor goin’
Who knows if those 2’ x 4’s ever were straight?
There’s plenty of firewood here for the taking
Maybe I’ll go and grab me a crate
“Charlie LeClair? Kay Desmarais.
Ray’s wife, Class of ‘62”
Then she explained how, since he retired
“One man, one tractor and nothing to do…”
“Hang tight!” says Ray, “hang tight, nay-sayers!
It does look like chaos,” he says with a smile
“But I got some serious plans for this basement.
Help yourself out to the wood in the pile”
Is that an old Hoover, next to the louver?
I might like that picture of ‘Murmuring Brook’
“All of this stuff is free for the taking
And we’ll set up for Christmas as soon as it’s took”
So, all us neighborhood fellas did gather
Drawn like flies whenever free wood’s around
But Kay, I could tell, was a lot less excited
When she saw how much crap was still on the ground
“It’s Christmas time, Ray! Time to spruce the place up!
Not make it look like some Temple of Trash!”
Raymond and us, we all formed a huddle and
Come up with a plan that did not sound too rash
First thing we did was go get our trucks
And pick through the best of the stuff that was here
The rest of the junk we took to the dump
Then, Joy to the World, let’s get us a beer
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
Hear Ida Tell It: Christmas Comes Early