Seems like I’ve been wicked busy, but it’s that summer sort of busy. You know, the kind of busy where it feels like you’re on the go all the time, but don’t have much to show for it?
Anyways, it’s been “hotter than Hades” here in Mahoosuc Mills. I’ve heard that more times than I can count while cashiering down to the A&P. This is from the same folks (no need to name names) who complain about the snow, the mud, the black flies, and the tourists, depending on the season. Complaining is what seems to keep these folks going, so this summer’s heat and humidity has been a whining bonanza.
Now, these are the same people who managed to get their kickers in a twist about last year’s easy winter. The rest of us were counting our blessings, and these naysayers are spouting doom and gloom.
“Ida,” they’d tell me, “there a reason we’re not getting a lot of snow. It’s the global warming.” Or they go all “Game of Thrones” saying “Winter is coming, and it ain’t gonna be pretty.” And, swear to God, someone actually said this, ”End of days, Ida. End of days.”
To each his own, right? But sometimes, I admit, I’m tempted to shut off my register light when I see one of one of these Negative Nellie’s coming my way. Otherwise, I just love my job down to the ‘ol A&P, and we have more drama than you’d think.
Like last Thursday, Yvette Plourde made quite a mess in the dairy aisle. See, our summer stock boy, Frankie, piled the eggs too high. Well, not for him. He must be 6’4” in his stocking feet. Now, I’m a little challenged in the height department myself, but Yvette is short. I mean, could-be-an-old-Catholic-nun kind of short. Four foot nothing and stubborn as all get out.
Well, Yvette wanted them brown eggs, way up top. Why she didn’t ask someone for help, I 
don’t know. But up she went, scaling the shelves. She had her heart set on a dozen brown eggs, and she got them and more, all over her newly permed hair and the front of her “World’s Best Grandma” t-shirt. God, what a mess!
“Don’t move, Yvette,” Bobby Francoeur yells. “That floor’s slippery as an eel in a barrel full of snot!” Bobby may be retired, but as an ex-cop he still delights in taking charge. He ordered Frankie to bring him some paper towels which Bobby lay down for Yvette to walk across. I don’t know if it was just me or what, but Bobby seemed to hold onto Yvette’s hand a little longer than he needed to once she was on solid ground. To be developed, I hope. Both of them lost their spouses awhile back, and you’re never too old to tango, in my opinion.
Truth be told, though, even with the air-conditioner in our bedroom, this time of year it’s hard to work up a head of steam in that department. What with work, the heat, and general business about all Charlie and me have a hankering for is a Peanut Buster Parfait. (I hope we’re not the only ones.) But “good sleeping weather” will be here before we know it. Meantime, a Peanut Buster ain’t half bad!
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
Hear Ida Tell It: Hotter Than Hades
This Week
July 18: Sip, Soak, Laugh, The SoakingPot, 6:00pm, North Conway, NH
Coming Up This Summer
July 25: Book Reading, North Gorham Library, 7:00pm, Gorham, ME
August 22: The Best of Ida, ACT ONE Summer Festival, 2:00 & 7:30pm, Portsmouth, NH
August 24: The Best of Ida, Celebration Barn Theatre, 7:30pm, South Paris, ME
August 29: The Best of Ida, ACT ONE Summer Festival, 2:00 & 7:30pm, Portsmouth, NH
Check out my full schedule here.
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