I’m one of those folks who capture wasps, spiders and even stinkbugs and set them free outside. It’s just how I roll. Charlie’s gets all riled up by squirrels on the bird feeders, but I figure if they’re smart enough to get to the food, let them have a little reward. I like watching the groundhog family in our yard ’round dinner time and this year we have a little gray fox.
Ants in the house cross the line, and I do put out those little ant traps. But whatever happens with that happens outta my sight, so it doesn’t seem that bad, right?
But there’s something about mice in the kitchen that just doesn’t sit well with me. Maybe it’s because they leave a mess. Maybe it’s because they can get a little overly familiar and start intruding in daylight hours. We tried those Have a Heart traps, or “mouse relocation devises,” as Charlie calls them, but they were time consuming and didn’t really seem to work.
I think of mice as a problem that happens in the fall when the weather starts getting colder. But this year, we’ve had an invasion starting in June. It’s weird, but the world is weird right now, so it makes sense.
This is when it’s nice to have a division of labor. Even though the kitchen is mostly my territory, Charlie steps up to the plate and handles the situation. He sets the traps before we go to bed, and makes sure to remove the carnage before I go into the kitchen the next morning. Love is a many splendored thing.
Give the Mice a Win
Each year Ida tells me
Once the Mice Capades begin
“Charlie, now and then you gotta
Give the mice a win”
If you’re a mouse, the kitchen’s where
You’re sure to find a crumb
Somewhere behind the stove, we think,
Is where they’re coming from
Oh, I could make a project of it
Move the stove and see
But heck, I’d rather set a trap
Lie back and let it be
For mice, them Victor’s do the trick
You don’t need a drone
Not to brag, but I have bagged
Fifteen this year alone
Last night before I hit the sack,
I set the traps again
Peanut butter’s just the thing
To lure the buggers in
This morning, I walked in and saw
One mouse was dead, kaput
The other was alive, I’d only
Caught him by the foot
So out behind the shed is where
I let him go, he’s gone
One for me and one for him
Our little game goes on
Sometimes the mice outsmart the trap
Once or twice I’ve seen
No peanut butter on the plate
Some mouse had licked it clean
But if the trap malfunctions
I still chalk one up for him
‘Cause every now and then, you gotta
Give the mice a win
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
Hear Ida Tell It: I’m Not Proud of This, But
Upcoming Shows
July 9, 16, 23, 30, Makin’ Whoopie!, 7:00, The Footlights Theatre, Falmouth, ME
One show down and four to go. In need of a laugh? Join me any Tuesday night in July.