I’ve been missing my mom a lot lately. Some of it has to do with the fact that it’s October, her birthday month. It’s also the anniversary of her death, in a couple of weeks. But it’s more than that.
Missing is strange, isn’t it? I can go days or even weeks without thinking of my mom, then I see her handwriting on a recipe, and bang! There she is. Or I watch a little girl, all dolled up for her first day of school, holding her mom’s hand, and I think, “I miss you, Mom.”
I used to get a little pang of envy whenever I’d see my friend Rita scoring a piece of peanut butter pie for her mom, Cora, at our local baked bean supper. (Those dinners are on hold for now, of course.) But I can just picture Rita grabbing that pie first (priorities in order because it’s the most popular and always the first to go) and bringing it to her mom, who’s holding court at her table, surrounded by her pals. When Rita delivered that slice of pie, the two of them would exchange a smile and a nod. Only then would Rita go back to the buffet, loading up a plate for Cora with beans, American chop suey, a red hot dog, some coleslaw and a homemade biscuit. Haute cuisine in our neck of the woods.
I don’t envy Shirley, though. Her mom, Mini, lives with her and Junior, well, in the mother-in-law apartment at their house. Mini probably won’t be there much longer, though. She’s going to need more care than Shirley can manage. Dementia, Alzheimer’s, Old Timers: don’t matter what you call it, it’s a tough finale for any family. That’s a different kind of missing. I mean, you’re missing them while they’re still here. That’s starting to happen with my dad now, and it’s wicked hard, especially because I can’t sit and hold his hand right now, which I want to do something fierce. But it’s not allowed a Mahoosuc Green, as you can imagine.
Seems like whenever there’s a big event, birthday or anniversary, or something, missing 
Mom gets stronger. (And I don’t even want to think about the holidays this year.) It’s that empty place at the table, that space in the photo where my mother ought to be. That gets me. Missing her tugs on my heart when I see something and think, you know, Mom would have loved this. Or when I’m making one of her recipes or when I smell lilacs, her favorite flower.
But you know what? My mom is never far away, really. She’s in all the happy memories, sure. But I also see Mom in my sister’s smile. The way my hands look doing dishes. They’re just like her hands. I hear my mother’s voice in my head, encouraging me, making me laugh. And I pray to Mom for grace when I need it and you know what? She always delivers.
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
Hear Ida Tell It: Missing Mom
Coming Up This Week
October 9 & 10: The Moose in Me, The Moose in You!, 7:30pm, The Footlights Theatre, Falmouth, ME
This is a live performance. Very limited seating. Reservations only.
Footlights Theatre has worked very hard to meet all safety regulations: hepa filters, glass between the masked audience and the performer, limited, social distanced seating, no intermission. They’ve been doing live performances since the beginning of August and it’s been working really well.